Because obviously, it's her. I have many male friends, completely platonic, nothing wrong with that, right? I'm married and my husband has no issue with any of my male friends. I've made my position about my friends very clear from day one and he's been fine with that. But two of my most treasured male friends, in the last five years, have gotten married, only to find that after they get married the wife decides I have to go. They make life hell for these guys if they're caught even speaking to me, to the point where it's easier for one of them to just go along with it, and the other sneaks around and talks to me only from work. In both cases I'm completely appalled, of course, both with the wives and with the actions of my friends. But what do I do? I love these guys and it kills me to think I'd have to lose their friendship. CAN anything I do have the effect I want? Or do I just wait it out and hope that friendship is strong enough to prevail?
2006-06-19 05:25:39 · 19 answers · asked by kiddprincess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
the problem is not with You or Your male friends. the problem is with Your friends' wives. they r obviously insecure about their husbands trust. N with all due respect, from what i gather, You seem to be an attractive, friendly woman. the wives of Your friends r a bit narrow minded. You may be ok with Your husband talking to his female friends, You r broad minded and modern, he's lucky.
i'm sure Your friends want to keep in touch with You and Your family as family friends. but they love their wives and/or fear them.try talking to Your friends wives more then Your friends, give the wives a little more attention .if they get friendlier, then Your friends will last.if they snarl at You, then its up to Your friends to show their courage n friendship.
do let us know how things turn out. All the Best
2006-06-19 05:51:55 · answer #1 · answered by jude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should do if you are a true friend is stand aside and stop interferring in your male friends relationships by being this extra third wheel female always bothing them....can't you see where this can cause resentment with their wives? The wives are acting normal...it is you that wants to keep these so called platonic relationships alive that isn't normal. Clear aside so these men can have a chance at a relationship with another woman...you can't claim all the men in the world.
PS: Tell your husband to get some balls and tell you to knock your bs about hanging around with guy friends off....it is bs for any man to watch his wife go hang out with other guys.
2006-06-19 12:32:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The women these men are marrying are threatened by your friendship with them. They are simply looking to have their man ALL to themselves. It wouldn't be right for you to sneak around behind their wives backs, even if it is completely innocent. If their relationship is meant to last, then so be it - allow them the happiness together, and simply bow out. On the other hand, I highly doubt you are the only bit of trouble in their relationship! While you certainly may be a point of contention between them, there's more going on I'm sure. Simply leave them be for now, and as mentioned before, if it doesn't work out, there's no doubt that you'll be able to regain those friendships again in time. I'm not saying it's right, but I've been there before myself. It's MUCH easier to pick my battles especially in that kind of a relationship. Because it's sooooo easy for things to go downhill fast and for simple things. Good luck!
2006-06-19 12:36:21 · answer #3 · answered by loving father 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not much you can do, you can try talking to the wives but they will find a way to make that something bad too. you have no choice but to let it go, perhaps the male friends you have handled it all wrong in the first place, you should've all hung out as two couples and allowed the wives to see that there is nothing going on and let them become comfortable with it. sounds like something was mishandled from the jump here and any woman is going to resent any other woman that their man keeps secrets about.
2006-06-19 12:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They must be a little jealous because you have the relationship that you do with them. I'd talk to the wives. Have something where all the couples are invited. Then go ahead and have your conversations with your friends, but include their wives to show your not hiding anything or doing anything on the side, maybe they will feel less threatened. good luck
2006-06-19 12:31:33 · answer #5 · answered by foundhim92867 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone is being forced to choose between a wife and a friend most times they are going to choose their wife if they are in a committed relationship. While it may not be fair and there may be no reason for a choice to be made there is nothing you can do about it. I would just tell my friend, I'm always here if you need me and maybe one day things will work out.
2006-06-19 12:32:31 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly a friend would you not want what is best for them ?I mean they married the women of their own free will. How can you pass judgment on them simple because your husband and you have a different point of view than their wives. I think they would be better off without selfish, self centered friends such as you.
2006-06-19 12:30:56 · answer #7 · answered by windyy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No greater love has a person than they lay down their lives (their personal goals and ideas) for their friend. If you really care about your friends you will let them go and encourage them to do the same. They have chosen to marry someone else, NOT YOU. They need to invest their time and efforts into their wife. You, as a person interested in their happiness, should encourage them in this.
2006-06-19 12:30:31 · answer #8 · answered by Bud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. There is something wrong. You should start having female friends. There is nothing wrong with their wives not wanting them to have female friends, their bond should be more important than yours and your friends, or else YOU would have married them. You should respect their more important relationships.
2006-06-19 12:31:01 · answer #9 · answered by Tunasandwich 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most of my best friends are men, and only one has prevailed through his mariage..
Guys will give up friendships for relationships and mariage, only to regret it when they see you on down the road in life..
do what I do, just wait it out, if he is a true friend he will manage both and if he cant he will miss your friendship and regret his decision in the future..
My husband knows my male friends and we are all just one big group of friends now..
2006-06-19 12:30:03 · answer #10 · answered by The Chesire Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋