"City Slicker" to "Country Bumpkin" translations please??

Question

Looking for "translations" of city slicker to country bumpkin phrases, sayings, etc.. For example: In the city, you might say "Going to the bar this weekend to hang with some friends"... and in the country it might translate into "Heading down to the barn dance at old man Avery's to cut a rug". Any more examples out there? Some you know or some you've just come up with?? Be creative!! My vote goes to the funniest! :) (no vulgarity please)

Answer 1

Translations - gosh I'm not sure there is one for some things. City people usually do not have a clue what to do in the country. Country people are often overwhelmed in the city. It's an assault on the senses. I mean the exhaust of busses and stale smell of food joints and the cars and sirens and people talking and all in the city is enough - but then city people go to the country and the unnoticed odor of a cow or goat drives them back to their fancy car...I have been both places and there is no way a cow 50' away compares to the odor of a bus taking off in a cloud of diesel!!
City things to do - parks, bars, festivals etc
Country things to do - many homes *are* their parks (room to do things); fairs, festivals etc. The topics and view is the difference. The value of a cow that milks over 100 pounds a day is lost on those in the city.
The entertainment is different - there isn't the flopping back and "entertain me" so many in the city do (and is obvious even on here). Action things are more likely. Ever been on a snipe hunt? Years ago I had a cousin from CA come visit us in IL. I swear every thing out of his mouth was "CA does this better" and "CA has that". After a week of bowing at the alter of CA we decided to take him snipe hunting...something that CA doesn't have. Snipe are a little bird that comes out at dusk...to hunt them you get a red plastic bag and a flashlight...you hold the bag down by the ground and shine the flashlight in it and either whistle a certain way or call "snipe snipe snipe" - the snipe runs in the bag...you quickly close the bag tight and have a snipe. They're most 'common' down along edges of cornfields, creeks and roads. So cousin dearest is out along the cornfield for 45 minutes. Of course in the dark and with us behind him he couldn't see the occasional pitching a pebble into the corn field (which makes more noise than you think). I had an Irish Setter at the time who we said was the IL state champion snipe hunting dog.

The reality of it is - of course - there's no such thing. Not in the context used anyway. But it's an excellent way to get annoying city braggers away long enough for a break.

There has been occasional phrases I use without thinking that city people seem to find funny. I once referred to a dog we used to have as "dumb as a box of rocks" - apparently many haven't heard that phrase. (she was a good dog - just not real smart!)

We didn't have video games and all to "entertain us". We learned to play flashlight tag and when a little older we adapted it to playing on horseback (NOT RECOMMENDED!!!!!). We'd catch 'lightning bugs' and when someone would comment on how easy things were we'd show them another view (the calves loved city people) by giving them a bucket of feed and saying it needs to go in that trough over there. By the time they got through wrestling, dodging and getting stepped on run over and mauled - with 80% of the feed never making it to the trough - we never again heard how "easy" it was. The trick was get through the gate FAST and run to the feeder so you were starting to pour before the calves got there but we never shared that.

Answer 2

well there's a joke i like thats kinda on the subject...A city-boy will walk up and stick it in..a country-boy will stick it in AND walk up .. but i prefer the hillbilly term better