can you make me laugh?

Answer 1

I've got a funny joke, but you definatly need a strong stomach for it, I've gotten two of the most distant emotions at the same time from telling people this joke, so here it goes.
Im going to change the names in the joke to protect the rights of the innocent.
This one teenager I used to work with, well call him Mark, came into work one day and goes 'Andy, I've got a story for you.'

He starts 'Paul's parents were gone a few weeks ago, so Paul had his girlfriend, Francine, over one night. Paul's parents had just gotten a BRAND new white suede leather couch, and it cost about 3000 bucks. Paul was having rectal sex with Francine on the couch, he pulls out, she farts and poops all over the couch. Paul freaks out, he just ruined his parents BRAND new couch. They cleaned it up as best they could, flipping the cushions and wiping it down, but you could still see the stains. The next week his parents came home, and before they said anything else after walking through the door, they go "What the FFFF happened to the couch??!?!?!" Paul looked around really nervously and blurted out "The dog did it." Paul's parents grabbed the dog, took it out in the back yard, and shot it.'

If you want to repeat this joke, feel free to use dirty words in places you feel appropriate, I tried to clean it up so it doesn't get taken down off here

Answer 2

Papa's Potato Garden

An old Jewish man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was tough work as the ground was hard. His only son, Saul, who used to help him, was in prison for Insider Trading and Stock Fraud.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Solly,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Papa

A few days later the old man received a letter from his son:


Dear Papa: For heaven's sake Papa, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the money & stocks.
Love, Solly

At 4:00 am the next morning, a team of FBI agents and local police arrived at the old man's house and dug up the entire garden area without finding any money or stocks. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day, the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Papa: Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Your son,
Solly

Answer 3

That darn cat
There was this cat who loved to get drunk, who went to the bar on the other side of the tracks.
He stayed all night long and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk.
The cat starts to stumble on home. As the cat comes to the train tracks, he doesn't notice a train coming down the tracks.
As he started to cross the tracks, the train zoomed by, and cut off his tail. The cat turned it's head to see the damage, got his head stuck into the side of a speeding box car, and is instantly decapitated.
The moral of the story — don't lose your head over a piece of tail!

Answer 4

read this:

funny enough??

we got a registered letter from the city clerk saying we were in arrears on property taxes. i went to our local municipal office to settle the matter. it turned out we had paid our taxes a day late & there was a fine. "how much?" i asked the clerk.

she checked her computer. "8 cents. anything else?"

"yes," i said, counting out the coins. "just for the record, you spent '70 cents' in postage to tell us this."

Answer 5

Yeah. Yo Momma so black that she went to night school and got marked absent. Yo momma so fat the "place your ad here" is on both her butt cheeks

Answer 6

HOW DO I TYPE IN ALL CAPITALS????????







Hehe.. did it make you laugh?

If you mean 'MAKE you laugh', noone can make you do anything.. 8) Good luck!

Answer 7

... i think i already did... you responded "LOL" to a number of my questions and replies... got ya! lol.. but you gotta give it to "puteri" that was a good one!

Answer 8

nope

Answer 9

i don't know