How do I fix my relationhsip? Please, ya'll this is important to me.?

Question

Ok ya'll, here it goes. My family and I got into a very bad fight a while back and they thought it was best if I moved out. Well my mom, who I love very much, was trying her best to be supportive of this and she even paid my first month's rent. Well now, mom is mad at me because I don't come home to stay. Well I realize now that I have responsibilities to my roommate and that I need to learn how to do some things on my own. She, on the other hand, thinks that I have screwed up my priorities, made bad choices, and do bad things. None of which are true. I don't go to church with them because I live an hour away now and gas isn't cheap. That really aggravates her, but I can't help it. She imagines the worst and it gets the best of her. I am not a bad person, and I don't do bad things. I am doing my very best to make something of myself and prove that I am not a helpless girl who grew up with her parents babying her. I like being responsible for myself. It isn't too fun, but I'm growing up

nicely and I like it. How do I get back the relationship I had with my mom? It seems like no matter what I do, it will never be good enough. I don't want this freedom to come between us, especially when she was encouraging me to do this. Please help.

Answer 1

You need to go by and visit with her.
Stay cool and independent till she calms down.
YOU be the adult.

Answer 2

She will always be your mom and she will always worry. You have to continue to grow and live as an adult. Spend time with her and tell her about all the positive things going on in your life. Let her know that you will always appreciate her advice, but you have to make your own choices, and have your own mistakes and successes. If she can't say anything positive, change the subject to something neutral, find an activity to do together (go to a movie, and then talk about the plot after), or include another person in your get-together. Above all, be honest without being hurtful. She doesn't want to see you miserable and frustrated. She did an excellent job raising you, let her know it and show her the independent, responsible person you have become.

Answer 3

Your mom sounds like she just misses you, which I'm sure, is difficult for any parent that has ever had their child leave the "nest."

This is a time of transition for you and your mom. Your in a new place in your life and it will no doubt take you and your family time to understand and cope with that change.

Give this situation time to mature and grow. However, in the mean time make sure you communicate how you feel to your mother. You guys sound close. If that is the case, than you should be somewhat comfortable sharing your feelings with her. This means telling her your fears, your goals, and your love for her.

Lastly, you mentioned church. Your faith along with your families faith sounds important. I would also encourage you to pray about the situation and let your mom know how important not only your relationship with her is, but your relationship with God. If she is like other parents, she is probably scared that you'll fall away from God since you don't have her "godly" encouragement/influence.

Answer 4

I think that you are doing an absolutely honorable thing by taking full responsibility for yourself and that you are willing to work through the hard times....if you could just sit your mom down and calmly explain to her why you are doing what your doing and that it's time for you to grow up and take on responsibilities....I am 36 yrs. old and I live with my parents again because I'm a single mom with a son and my ex doesn't always pay when he's supposed to...even though I work full time...it's still hard to get by in today's world without 2 people bringing in a paycheck. I am ready to move out now but my dad is telling me how stupid I am and that I will never be able to make it on my own....he's only doing this because I'm sure he's worried about his only daughter BUT he's doing me a great diservice because for the longest time ...subconsciously I have believed him and I let him basically steer me in whatever direction he thought best for me BUT it's time that I stood up for myself and made a stand....I CAN take care of myself and it would be so nice if I could get some support from him once in awhile...but I'm not so sure that that day will ever come....all I can advise you to do at this point is try to talk calmly with your parents and appear in control of the situation....they have to learn to let you go at one time or another....I can understand that this is hard for parents to do and you really shouldn't take it too personally but I understand your frustration....let your mom and dad know how much you love them and that you don't want anything to come in between your relationship.....let them know that you still want to spend time with them and do things with them but that it might not be as much because of certain other responsibilities that you have taken on.
I wish the best of luck to you and I truly understand where you are coming from.
Good Luck Hon!!

Answer 5

sometimes parents, especially mothers have problems when their children move out on their own. You didn't mention how old you are but I assume that you are of legal age. As long as you are supporting yourself and not asking them for money then only time will heal the wounds. It is very hard to move back home after you have experienced the freedom of living on your own. Try to stay in phone contact with your mom and tell her often that you appreciate the things that she has taught you that now have enabled you to live on your own. Keep her abreast of how you are doing and let time heal the wounds. That is all you can do.

Answer 6

eventually, she'll come to understand that you're growing up and that you need to do stuff on your own without getting much help from your parents. all you have to do ins also understand her, she loves you much and wouldn't want you to get hurt through life. all you have to do and have a mature discussion with her to make her understand what you want to do with your life. if during the conversation your mom see that you mean what you say and that you are sure of what you're doing, she'll understand and everything will get back to normal. just tell her how much you love her but she has to let you take chances in your life and that you need to grow up learning from your own doings.
i've been through the same thing with my brothers and sisters, now they respect my decisions.
don't worry it's just a transition which won't last long. you'll be ok :)

Answer 7

As far as I can see you're not doing anything wrong.. Yoy are trying to make this work and you're living up to your responsibilities.
I think your mom has a hard time letting you go and she lashing out because of that.
Just keep doing what you're doing..In time your mom will see that you have grown up and set on doing things your way..

ps. Ask her for help sometimes...something small that you would be able to solve on yur own... it will give that feeling that she somehow is still needed..

Answer 8

You 2 needs to sit down and have a nice talk about this whole situation. She might be feeling this way cause she thinks that since you are gone, you have no time for her and you dont need her anymore. Most parents are like that.

Answer 9

Its going to take time ! Your going to have to give them time to deal with this thing of you not being there with them . It will be hard on everyone at first but you are family and there is nothing stronger than that sweety ! Try to be forgiving and good luck to you and your family , i mean that .

Answer 10

well i would go bye and talk to her and be honest with her and that you are trying your best in life and that you are responsible for your own life and that you love her vey much and you want the love back that you and her ounce had and that she has to except that you are getting to be independent and you have responsible to your room mates