You BEST Blonde Joke.?

Question

My best: There was 3 moms... 1 was brunette, 1 was a redhead and the other was a blonde. The redhead mom walks into her daughters room and finds a cigarette. She says "I didn't know my daughter smoked." The brunette walks into her daughters room and finds a beer can. She says "I didn't know my daughter drank." The blonde walks into her daughters room and finds a condom. She says "I didn't know my daughter had a dick"

A blonde was sitting outside a store on the curb crying..the manager of the store spotted her outside and went outside and asked the blonde whats wrong...she said her mother just died..and the manager said oh I'm sorry.. the blondes cell phone starts to ring and she answers it and says hello..omg! are you serious!.. and she hangs up and the manager asks her who that was and the blonde says...that was my sister...her mom just died too!

A blonde waks into an expensive shoe store. She finds a pair of alligator boots and asks the clerk for the price. "$200" he said. The blond says "That's outragouse! I'm gonna go get my OWN alligator boots!" and she walks out of the store. Later that day the clerk gets into his car to drive home. On his way he see's a buinch of dead alligator flipped onto thier backs alongside the road. He drives a little more and stops to look around. He hears a gun shot and looks over to find the blond. She had just shot the alligator and flipped him over. She says "DAMMIT! This one's not wearing shoe either!!!"

Answer 1

One blonde n brunette were walking in a street.
Brunette: AWWWWW see that poor dead birdy.

Blonde (looking around in the air): WHERE?

Answer 2

A blind man is sitting at a bar when he calls out to the bartender, "Do you want to hear the best blonde joke in the world?"
The bar gets real quiet and a lady puts her hand on his arm.
"Sir, I just want to let you know that the bartender is a 200-lb blonde who looks like she could break you like a twig. The bouncer is also a large, muscled, blonde woman, and those two blonde biker chicks over there look pretty mean. I am also blonde, and being a lawyer, I am not sure you should tell that joke."
The old man though a minute and said,"Yeah, you're right, especially not if I would have to explain it five times."

Answer 3

A blonde walks in a store and tells the owner i want to buy this tv
and the owner says i dont sell tv to blondes so the she leaves. She goes back to the store with a wig on (redhead) and tells owner i want to buy this tv and the owner says i dont sell tvs to blondes and she says how did you know im a blonde hes says thats not a tv that a microwave.







Theres an American and a blonde at the beach. The american says we're the first on the moon and the blonde says so, we're going to be the first on the sun and the american says you cant go on the sun you'll burn up and the blonde says helloooo we'll go at night.

Answer 4

Wow! I like BOTH of yours! Here's mine:

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were driving by a library. The red head read a sign saying "Volunteers needed to read to children" and decided to stop. The brunette saw that library cards were free, she needed new books, and stopped. The blonde saw a sign reading "Cover Signings." and stopped. When they met and asked each other why they were all at the library, the blonde said "What's a library? I came here to see the new CoverGirl Magazine Cover, and this place is filled with really long magazines without pictures!"

Answer 5

1.
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane,a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."

She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts, "BE SILENT!"

There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting, "OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."


2.
One day a blonde goes up to a soda machine. She puts in some money and a soda comes out.

She gets really excited and started to put more money into the machine. The more and more she did it, the more the sodas came out.

Someone walked up to her and asked her if they could get a soda.

The blonde said, 'Get out of my face, I'm winning!

Answer 6

Okay, here's my favorite:

A well-dressed blonde walks into a New York bank and says she wants to borrow $50,000, as she is leaving the country. The loan officer asks if she has collateral and she says yes, I have a Mercedes-Benz. They sign the papers and she hands over the keys.

A month later, she comes back and pays off the loan in full, with $200 in interest to boot! The bank manager asks her, "Why did you borrow the money?"

The blonde looks at him and says, "Where else could I park my car for a month for only $200?"

Answer 7

That is mighty funny....Here's mine: A police man sees a beautiful blonde driving a red porsche, she was speeding a little so he decided to pull her over. When he called her license into dispatch the dispatcher asked if she was driving a red porsche. The arresting officer said yes, and was then told by the dispatcher to approach the woman and undo his zipper. The police officer did as he was instructed. When he walked up to the driver side window with his pants unzipped, the blonde said, "Oh, no not another Breathalyzer!" Best wishes

Answer 8

If a blond and a brunettee jumped off the empire state building who would land first..........................the brunett cause the blond would stop and ask for directions.....



What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpme Dumpme hahaha

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just couldn't! The blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath. The other blonde said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

these are the ones i laugh over ........

Answer 9

There were four blondes sitting at a bar when all of the sudden there was a commotion. The bartender came over and asked what heppened...
"Look", the first said, "We did it"
"Yeah" the second chimed in. "We finished the jigsaw puzzle"
"It only took us 42 days" said the third...

The bartender was perplexed...'42 days is a long time, ladies".
The fourth said, "But look at the box. It says 3 to 5 years!"

Answer 10

New inventions by Blondes

The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alchohol
Reusable ice cubes
See through toilet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
Helicopter ejector seat.

source: internet


Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday??

A: Tell them a joke on Wednesday!!

...
How do you know a blonde has been using your computer?

white out / tipex all over your screen.

Answer 11

So a blonde is driving in her car when she comes across a cornfield. In the cornfield she sees a blonde rowing a boat in the middle of the field. She drives up to the man and says...
"You are a disgrace to us blondes, If I could swim, I would come out and get you!"