Please answer this question...........?

Question

My fiance and I have been together for a year and a half. I honestly love him with all of my heart. We have our ups and downs, more downs then ups. He smokes weed and drinks alcohol on a daily basis. I can deal with that. He also uses another substance like twice a week. He has an addiction to porn as well. The porn bothers me the most, because he watches it every time I leave the house. He has lied to me about it over and over again. In the begining I watched it with him. At times, he would watch it then turn it off and go to sleep. He has sex with me like twice a week, sometimes 3. He says he wants me to be more aggressive sexually. I can't. All I can think about is hiw he watched it all day and was bustin' to the videos. I feel degraded. I've offered to do anything they do in the video. When I perform oral he closes his eyes and gets quiet. He was in prison for several years. He has problems staying hard or ejaculating. I love him, but we have big problems w/ sex

Answer 1

It sounds to me like hes replaceing you with women in the videos and you deserve better when he closes his eyes hes more than likely fantisizeing about the women in the videos. he does all the other **** and your worried about videos? you done lost your mind Id be more worried about the drugs hes doin. hell go back to prison and that obviously dont bother you? did you ever stop to think that the reason he cant keep it up or get a nut is because the drugs!!! duh use the brain that god gave you girl im sure your smart enough to figure that out

Answer 2

I say you start looking for someone else. Sounds to me like he can be potentially dangerous I mean weed, alcohol, "other substances", porn, PRISON! OMG The porn is the least of his problems and never offer to do the degrading stuff some of those girls do in those videos for him I'm sure you're above that. and y is he always at home? Talk to him about getting himself a job.

Answer 3

Hmm he's been in prison, uses drugs frequently and is an alcoholic and your major concern is the porn and sex? Wow. You are okay with him using drugs? What about when children come into the picture and they get taken away because of the drug use and environment, will you be okay with that then? You are on a bad road and there is no end to it, find someone better suited for a family lifestyle.

Answer 4

Wow Im sorry to hear about the porn as I know how it is. I would DEFINATLY get something worked out before you get married, even if you have to go to counseling. Its just going to get worse, if he doesnt get all of his addictions under control, and I know only the porn bothers you right now, but I promise eventually you will care about the rest. All I can say is DO NOT get married until you know you are ok with pretty much everything he does. Good luck!

Answer 5

i was with a guy like that and the down time we had together started getting aggresive he eventually started blaming me for everything and no matter what he did he was never wrong there were times that i really wondered if i was going to live another night so far it doesnt seem like your relationship has gotten to that but please watch for the signs before things get out of control or before you marry him and some of his problems with sex could be from all the substance abuse my ex had the same problems and with watching porn all day he is a little desenseatized to it

Answer 6

Don't stress your self out for him. Honey move on. Because there are other you can please. You don't after look at video to pick up suggestion for the bedroom. Let flip it/ maybe he's not all that to you. And you got your self believing it. Kick his *** to the curb, the soon the better. And then another things is he has a habit/ definitely not that. If you married him/ do you think it will be better (no). In so many words to you/ not being funny about it. He use you as / I feel that you are beautiful in side and out. Remember people do no more then we allow them to us. Don't be a convenience to him.

Answer 7

I think you guys should work this out before you get married. Go and get some counseling. If you two really love each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together then you will find a way to make it work. Figure it out now. Put your foot down...

Answer 8

Wow, that's rough. I'm really sorry you're going through this.

But the thing you have to remember, is that people often do not change many behaviors. He might be able to get over one addiction, but maybe not all of them. So think of yourself and your future. If you think you can work things out so that you're happy with him more then you're unhappy, the relationship is worth saving. But if you think you're always going to be unhappy, or he's not the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, maybe it's time to move on. I would really recommend getting a counselor for yourself, regardless of if he wants to go with you or not. Good luck!

Answer 9

It sounds like he has porno-creep its an actual disorder were they are so addicted to porn that the have trouble getting off any other way I don't know if it can be helped but I'd ask a doctor.

Answer 10

" I think you should ask your self if you are in for a life of unhappiness and misery........ If he loves you, if he loves himself,,,,, he should be making a lot of changes... Effective, immediately........... If not you need to reconsider where you want to see your life five years from now........ Even a year............ I have also heard that if you have problems ejaculating and are on drugs,,,,, you have found the reason why this problem is happening........ He needs to get help or you may even be visiting your hubby in prison, and that does not sound too good, now does it......