What should I do?

Question

I noticed that my husband doesn't want to make love to me for a long time, about once a month only, then I asked him for the reason. Then he answered that he is always very tired after work. And after a while, he said that this is his way as a kind of response or revenge to me that I always get impatient to the kids during helping with their homework. He did it intentionally to show his anger.
I felt veru humiliated as I also have a busy full time job and all the kids' stuff and the housework are done by me. He didn't help much. I believe my temper at the time of being too busy is normal. He used this way to accuse me I feel very bad. Over 9 months, I still cannot offer him any intimacy as I always remember what he said. I am thinking of leaving him.cuz I can't love him anymore.

Answer 1

You both sound overwhelmed and stressed. The children's well-being is key; you and your husband should see a marriage counselor. You should divide the familial and household responsibilities. The two of you should be a dynamic team together. A romantic night out or a romantic weekend away could help you two to rediscover the person you fell in love with.

If you are unable to forgive your husband's poor and immature lesson, them move on.

Before anything is done, just take time to reflect on what you two had and where did it go.

Good luck.

Answer 2

It isn't easy to have a home, raise kids, and have a full time job. Come home and do all the household chores. It definitely can take a toll on you. Consequently, the lovemaking suffers, because the stress of things overshadow your desires. It happens in a lot of marriages.

I wouldn't rush into leaving him. You are saying it because you feel hurt and angry. That's normal. I would try everything first before giving up on a marriage. Marriage takes a lot work, its almost like a job. I would have a serious talk with him, stating your feelings, and ask him to state his. Ask him if he wants to continue in the marriage. If he does say YES I would suggest going to a marriage counselor and air your problems out together.

If you feel that you have tried everything and he is still the same, then and only then would I decide to separate from him. Maybe that might jolt him a bit and make him realize what he might be losing.

Automatically people say he must be cheating. Its just possible that he is depressed, stressed, and frustrated. If he is cheating, that you will have to prove. Both of you need counseling if you really love each other and want this to work.

Answer 3

The Best thing to do is to face him about your feelings and how much do u feel humiliated and about your fears that he might be dating or in relationship with someone else and if he said that he is meeting somebody else you have the right to leave him but you must put into consideration that you have kids and you should take care how they will be feeling when there family is broken, The Kids are a big responsibility and it's and his responsibility, so for God Sake think about them before yourselves.

Answer 4

I can definitely understand the frustration while doing homework with the kids. Try relaxing..It's hard..I have one that drive me nuts when doing homework. I'm learning my son will not do his best if he's not comfortable, especially if I have lost it with him. Try to approach doing the homework a different way than you have. Make it fun for him, homework isn't meant to be stressful for you and the children. It;s hard..I know.
As for your husband's behavior..He may not agree with your tactics the way you have been doing the homework with your children. Tell your husband if that's the issue he has with you, let him help with the children's homework during the week.

Please take the blinders off..your husband may be using this excuse b.c it's possible he may be having an affair. You know they say a person is more likely to have an affair while at work. Sounds like it..

Before making any life altering decisions..get the facts and try talking to your husband.

Answer 5

Girl, Y'all sound like me and my husband well use to okay i'm sure y'all have been married way longer than us be he would do the same thing " oh i'm so tried baby", " we should do it once a mon....we'll that never happen it's alway's every month . Maybe his cheating I don't know Men are really wierd at times' maybe it will get better like now for me My husband has been in the mood alot lately and I'm happy

Answer 6

A woman's heart is much greater than a man. Forgive him bcoz you can. Smile as u have the most radiant of all. And look for the future. And best of all, just take some leave and go to some place with him. Best of luck

Answer 7

He sounds like an unsupportive jerk. I'd ditch him! A good sex life is important to a relationship! Do you really think he's going without sex for that long? Wake up and smell the coffee lady. He's walking all over you! Sister to sister....find your higher power and your inner strength and know that you deserve more. You deserve to be happy, loved and supported!! Find the strength to leave........I wish you much happiness!

Answer 8

I think you need to do what is best for you and your family. If you are not receiving what you feel you deserve in the relationship, then it's time to leave. Your unhappiness will show and your kids will notice it too. I believe they would rather see a happy mom than grumpy, dissatisfied, unfulfilled woman. You need some hot, unabashed, uninhibited, wet, steamy, sex!

Answer 9

More than likely he found someone else already. That would have start about the time he changed his bedroom habits.
He is using the kids for an excuse. Don't let him punish you for his cheating.
He's always tired, because he has just left the other person.

Answer 10

Ask him to help with chores and kids. If he won't let him keep it . You can not make love to someone you are mad at. Forget it or get a divorce. If he cared for tiy at all, he would have been helping all the time. ask him if he can pay the bills w/o you're income , if so quit your job to free up time.