Well they have a son together and that means she'll text or call and make requests regarding their son and her holidays and her 'off' weakends! we take him all of saterday day and night and then all day sunday aswell as wednesdays. every 3rd Friday night she wants off too! aswell as holidays,shes a teacher so theres quit a lot of them!he goes to nursery in the week and basicly spends all his off time with us. what do i do? she does steps over my fiancee and i hate it! how can i change it?
2006-06-19 03:04:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
they have a child together, you can only make suggestions to him, otherwise you may be driving a wedge between you and him. this is a area that you need to talk about in depth before you pursue the relationship. good luck!
2006-06-19 03:08:42 · answer #1 · answered by City slicker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a sticky situation. You are with him and you will be there for a long time to come if and when you two get married. But that is the thing you are going to have a long road ahead of you and the only person that can put some structure on the way that things are handled between him and his child's mother is him. The question is not what should you do, but what would you like for him to do? All you can do is tell him what you are feeling and try to do it as tactfully and carefully as possible. That is thin ice that you are walking on and you need to be very careful. Always keep in mind that you will never know the entire story, there are always three sides to each story, his, hers, and the truth, I know that it is frustrating for you but you took on that role when you decided to be with him. Are you ready to deal with these things on a regular basis, is this too much for you to handle, should you be asked to handle this at all, then what happens when you two have children together? These are things that you have to think about. Some things just can not be answered for you some things you have to sit back be honest with yourself and your mate and let the chips fall where they may.
2006-06-19 03:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is coming from some one who went through the same thing sort of. Well if u think u r not spending enought time w/ur fiancee b/c u have the kid too much i suggest u put an end to it now and talk to ur fiancee and tell him how u feel if he disagrees then i suggest u get out of this realtionship b/c belive sooner or later it will get worst i guarantee u that his ex is going to try to get in between u 2 all ex's do that don't know why but they do. But if u enjoy having the kid around well just ask ur husband to try to fight for custody. But afterall ur fiancees ex is the mother and she needs to start being more responsible and u need to tell ur fiancee that b/c he might not notice it guys dont always notice things like that dont know why if they r so obvious. But yeah u and him do NEED time to youselves so GET it ASAP although you r engaged you still have alot to learn from eachother.
Hope this helps and hope u understand what i mean
2006-06-19 03:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't and you shouldn't . You will only end up looking selfish. I'm sure your fiancee enjoys spending time with his son and it's way better than the child getting stuck with a sitter or in daycare. That child will soon grow and no longer require adult supervision but best of all he will appreciate his father more.Put yourself in his shoes. I suggest you learn to deal with it or move on.
2006-06-19 03:11:54 · answer #4 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knew going into this relationship that he had a son. This is something you'll have to get used to. If you don't like it, get out of the relationship. Don't be such a whiney b****. You're going to be a stepmother. Don't have such a bad attitude about having to have him "all the time". The poor kid will sense this attitude and feel like he's not wanted by anyone.
2006-06-19 03:14:14 · answer #5 · answered by honey_bear_21_1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well at least she is not personally still trying to hang on to him. Your fiancee is just taking care of his son. It's his obligation when one parent is not picking up the responsibilities. You should be generous when it comes to the father and son relationship. It's her lost. the son will eventually grow up and be closer to his dad. It's a good sign of a man who perhaps take really good care of his children that will be born by you. Why not join in and welcome your step son with open arms? Perhaps the son will love you more than his own mother.....Besides children can always use extra love......asthe sayng goes...what goes around comes around....
2006-06-19 03:12:59 · answer #6 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy ! Glad to see the other side of that situation. But do tell you fiancee how you feel. DON'T do this when you're angry. Sunday morning, in bed, and try to make a little fun out of it.
2006-06-19 17:28:11 · answer #7 · answered by Richard B-H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A court ordered visitation order should be put into effect. Or maybe you all could file for custody. Either way, i think you should let the courts put together a visitation plan.
2006-06-19 03:09:26 · answer #8 · answered by Crazymomo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be very careful if you value your relationship with your partner trying to "sort out" arrangements for someone elses children is a nightmare situation you should avoid your best bet is to talk to your partner and get him to make any changes you want. good luk hun
2006-06-19 06:09:55 · answer #9 · answered by harrierzero1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couldn't your fiance apply for custody of him seeing as the boys with you more than he is with his mother? That might make her re-think and want to spend as much time with him as possible for the fear of losing him.
2006-06-19 03:31:11 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋