What do you have to do to be lovable?

Question

And don't tell me to 'just be myself', I think there must be something wrong with me because I don't really have any body who loves me. I do try to love other people, but I end up feeling drained and used. Or I think everything is going well and then they drop a bombshell on me that makes me feel stupid, like everybody hates me and I'm doing everything wrong. I don't just mean romantic love either; I mean all types of love.

What do people who have people who love them do? What makes a lovable person?

Answer 1

Aw, be yourself. If you try to be "something" to be loved, you'll only end up back in the situation you are in right now. Feeling drained and used. However, a few things you can do can go a long way. Start being a little thoughtful, considerate, non-judgemental, do a bit of soul searching and get rid of stereotypes, you get the idea. Doing all this is good for you AND it helps your social life. Best of luck.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but, the answer is "to be yourself". And don't make any strange grimaces... The reason you feel so frustrated is that probably you expect acceptance and affection by the wrong people; people with whom you don't have many things in common (i.e way of thinking, personality, interests e.t.c) or people not willing to give the things you ask (love, attention e.t.c). Of course, there is always the possibility to expect much more than the average good friend offers. You can't have a person totally devoted to you 24/7. I would advise you to start getting to know yourself (e.g make a list of your strengths and weaknesses, the things you enjoy doing in your free time e.t.c), relax a bit and be patient; I used to be quite like you when younger, believing that everyone hates me. Yet, here I'm now with three wonderful friends who care about me and have accepted me for what I am. I'm sure that things will be fine for you too! Take care.

Answer 3

i get the same problem. you know what the answer is? the answer is not what should you do about it, the answer is what is the point? most people are selfish or stupid so there's no point trying to get their love. i've given up on my family and friends and am not even trying to look for a girl. people in this world only spend time together if they can make a profit out of it. if you really want to be 'loved' you can try and be the trophy girlfriend, or be rich or just be a complete ****. it depends how much you want to degrade yourself.

Answer 4

Firstly don't try to love someone, you will feel it if its going to happen. We all find different things are attractive but generally anyone looking for love is looking for pretty much the same thing. Maybe you are looking for love and he is looking for attraction? Maybe your attitude needs to change (not in a "you must change your attitude young lady!" type way, Love yourself first. If all else fails give me an email, I like being a last resort :-D You asked us not to say be yourself. But how can anyone love you if you are not yourself? They would only love the person you are portraying.

Answer 5

Love urself and everything will fall into place.When u try too hard for people to love u,then u look like a misfit in the society or ur group"Be urself that what no one can take from u"
U're special and should always think of urself as that then the rest will take its place.

Answer 6

well the truth is u juss have to be yourself.nothing is wrong with u and i think u juss wanting to be loved too much.do u mean to say that u have no love life at present moment?

the thing is love /loving all has to do with how u treat pple . maybe some guyz made their move on u and u turned them down..this might coz them to loose interest in u.if guyz are turned down a #of times by girlz they tend t loose interest and ignore u .nothing is wrong with u but it might be somthing from your past that is haunting u.think back and let me know and i will tell u how to do it ......

cheers and wish u the best

Answer 7

there is no such thing as a lovable person to be loved the first step is to love and respect yourself don't try to be something for any body else some one will love you for who you are not what you can be or what they want you to be. i have been there myself all you will get is used and called upon when they want you and forgotten when they have better things to do. BE YOURSELF AND LOVE WHO YOU ARE AND TO HELL WITH EVERYONE ELSE

Answer 8

Well, I wont tell you to just be you, but I will tell you, maybe you should chose whom you wanna adore more wisely.

I have a husband who loves me to no end, but prior to him, I wasted my time on all the wrong ones..you cant go just wasting you energy on people who wont return it back, cos youre right, you end up feeling drained and used up..

Chose them well, chose them wisely..and maybe, just maybe, dont invest in them all too soon. Love , or admiration shouldnt just be given at the door..

Answer 9

hunnie i never went out lookin for love it came to me .......thats hard sometimes .......maybe you need to change where you go ....... love isnt something you plan ...... i bet you if you keep saying you dont need love , itll just be round the corner...........
have you ever heard the saying ...if you want something bad enuff ,to stop lookin for it .......

relationships come and go.... people are so hooked nowadays at saying they had a bad relationship instead of thinking it was never ment to be ...dont get me wrong you think its the love of your life till it goes ttitts up .....dont most realtionships end up that way .........
ok maybe it wasnt your time .....just because youve had a bad relationship it dont mean your gonna go with out havin any ..............

wot is lovable any how ...you are lovable its just that its not the lovable that bloke wants from you soon eough you find one who wants that kind of lovable........ dont change for any one hunnie .....

Answer 10

Your trying too hard, make like you do your own thing and if people wanna tag along thats fine too, people gravitate towards leaders and repel needy people!