I think im falling in love with another woman other than my wife. I dont know what to do Any suggestions?

Question

I got married to my wife in 10/05. Since then we have had are ups and downs. I love her but not as passionate as I did before. Well her sister in law came over one day with her cousin and we hit it off really well and found out we have alot in common. Well my wife is away on vacation and me and the cousin have been hanging out, we havent done anything. Anyway being with her makes me think did I marry the wrong woman. Also I cant stop thinking about her and find myself having feelings for this other woman. I dont know what to do.

Also my wife and I have been together for 5 years.

I have tried reignited the fire in the relationship and it still not working. I've been working hard to bring this relationship back to life and nothing has worked this is why I have turned to this other woman.

Answer 1

It sounds like you're lonely and craving an understanding and intimacy that you're not getting from you wife. Before you make a huge decision that will alter yours and many other people's lives, really think about what you're thinking about doing. My guess is that you and your wife had a very passionate relationship that cooled down after you married. Once you married, life's monotonous routine got in the way of passion and communication. Now you're looking outside the marriage for that spark.

Before you act, do yourself and your wife a favor and talk to her. Be honest about your feelings. Maybe her job/friends/family etc... consume all her energy. Maybe you'll find that she's just as lonely as you are. Give her a chance to work with you to make your marriage work. If you feel you can't talk to her, then suggest couples counseling. If that fails, then I would consider the possibility of ending the marriage. But before making that decision, please please please give you and her a chance. Don't give up yet!

Answer 2

The only reason you want to cheat is because you may not be as in love as you were in 10/05. I feel like if it isn't as passionate as it was, then you need to be the man and step up to the plate and make it right. Cheating will only hurt what you have worked so hard for you obviously loved her or you would not have married her. Use her cousin's affection as a tool to boost your self-confidence and come home to your wife and sweep her off her feet make her have butterflies in her stomach to be around you and the only way to do that is through confidence in your self Try that before ruining your life and your wife's relationship with her cousins.

Answer 3

HAve you ever really loved your wife? After 8 months of marrigae you are thinking of wandering?
Marriage is a commitment. You owe it to your wife to discuss your feelings. Tell her that you want her to spend more time with you. I think that youre looking at another woman cause your wife is gone right now. How will you feel in a few days when she gets home?
Love cools off after a while. But when the passionate love cools, that is when we have to consintrate on the other aspects of our spouse that makes them the person that we love. Just cause your wife isn't here right this minute, doesn't make her any less loveable.
And the BIGGEST mistake you can ever do in a relationship is to go after a friend or family of your wife. Not only will that ruin your marriage, but if there are any kids involved then that will mess up your relationship with them.

Answer 4

STOP NOW!!! nothing good can come of this. YOU have to keep yourself away from these situations.these things never work out. you don't have feelings for this woman, you have lust. this also says alot for this other woman, you are falling for a woman who is willing to break up a marriage. yeah she's a real winner just like you!

A#1, you are married. you made the decision to to that yourself.
i doubt very seriously that you were involved in a shotgun wedding.

B#2, even if you left your wife do you really think HER cousin is going to be with you? no, she (the cousin) isn't going to take blame from her whole family that she is the reason your failed marriage.
C#3, it is so easy to get into these situations when you allow it to happen. everyone wants to hear nice things about theirself and strangers usually do this.do you think you will be living in paradise forever, NO. everyday responsiblities will there along with the same stuff that you think you are unhappy about now.don't you think that after a year into this relationship that you will feel the same way as you do now about your current wife?

think back to what it was that made you fall in love with your wife. almosrt every realtionship starts out great. you feel so in love and in awe with this person. you can' t wait to get home and see them. everything is so great. then real life hits and everyday situations come along and before you know it the fun and excitment goes away.
how would you feel if the tables were turned and your wife had these feelings for your cousin? how humiliating that would be.
GROW UP AND BE WHAT YOU PROMISED YOUR WIFE YOU WOULD BE!!!!!!!
is this something you can look her dad in the face and tell him?
really, i think you are a real crappy person!!! your wife is out of town and you are slinking around like dirty peice crap left floating in the toilet.

Answer 5

Oh, gosh! Well, this is a fine kettle of fish you've found yourself in. I'm going to say that in answering your final question, the truth is neither of you is getting the best of ONE world, never mind the best of both worlds. It sounds as if she's staying emotionally aloof from you and that's probably smart for her. You (who thought you were having a fling) are in emotional quicksand. My good sense tells me you need to cut yourself off and out of this other woman's life completely. It's rather immature to think you simply can't live without her ... of course you can! Just do it, day by day you'll rediscover the closeness you used to feel with your wife and the two of you can continue down the road to making a life together. There will always be temptation in your life, and in your wife's life as well. But the two of you stood before your families and friends and promised to love one another above all others. You've had a spell of "back sliding". So pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move ahead toward keeping your promises. I wish you the best.

Answer 6

You are just questioning yourself b/c the passion has decreased. You are a guy, and that comes natural. Plus, guys 99 times out of 100 meet a girl better than the one they are with after they are married. It happens. You keep eating off of the menu, and sooner or later the cook starts making things with less quality. So you want to go to another restaurant. I'm sure the feelings are driven more physically than emotionally. You'll get through it. Don't do anything stupid.

Answer 7

Slap ur self in the face, and wake up! My suggestion is to simple remind you that you made a promise to ur wife when you married her, 5 years ago! Most men will honor there promise! You should not allow urself to have these feelings for another woman and you sure shouldn't act on them.

Answer 8

I Had the same problem a few years ago and I have to tell you WALK AWAY FROM IT NOW!!!!
If you don't and it ends up going all the way it will cause irreversible damage that will fallow you for the rest of your life.
Like the shame you feel every time you think of how much it hurt your wife.

Answer 9

Don't cheat on your wife. If you think you are meant to be with this person then tell your wife. Don't leave her hanging. Also make sure this other woman feels the same for you.

Answer 10

first you have to resolve whatever issues you have with your wife. Whether is going to counselling or have a heart to heart talk about your marriage. Until one realtionship is resolve you cannot start another regardless of how easy or whatever excuse you have.....it's call commitment and responsibilities. For future do not take marriage likely. It takes more than sex and passion to make a marriage work.