I'm 28 now but back when I was 22, I began seeing a man who was 29. We dated for 2 years and he wanted me to marry me. I wasn't ready. I just didn't feel he was the one. 6 months after we broke up, his dad died of cancer and my family and I went to the funeral home. We started emailing after that - just as a means of keeping in touch and saying hello, and about every 6 months one of us would write to the other. We never got together - it was just about seeing how the other person was doing. Last year I got married - when he first found out I was engaged, he sent me an email saying he was so happy for me, but after that we stopped writing. This year he is getting married so I sent him an email just to say congratulations and he never wrote me back. I take it we will no longer be emailing each other anymore? I guess I always thought I was the one for him, even if he wasn't the one for me.
2006-06-19 02:20:05 · 8 answers · asked by Rachel 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It was very important to him that I be happy. That's all he wanted for me - even if he wasn't the one I ended up with. His mom used to email me too but she has since stopped as well. I guess this is an ego thing - much as I hate to admit it. You always believe the person will love you and only you, long after the breakup and then eventually - we all move on and find other people we love just as much, if not more. A spiritual medium told me he still loves me, that he is merely getting married because he is 35 and it is time. I'm not sure I believe that - and I hope that he truly does want to marry his fiancee.
2006-06-19 02:36:25 · update #1
I think you're being a bit selfish. You moved on. You weren't ready. You didn't think he was the one for you, yet you want him to think you're the only one for him. You're sad that he hasn't continued to pine over you for the rest of his life, when if you are truly his friend, you would be happy for him. People are smart. They can pick up on your true motives and intentions. He can tell he was never really a friend to you, but was just stroking your ego. He couldn't help it until now, because he really did love you. When you got married, you finally cut the ties for him, and he finally had the push he needed to truly move on. Now he has truly moved on, so when you send him ego-needy emails, he finally has the strength to ignore your selfishness.
2006-06-19 02:57:34 · answer #1 · answered by ungirl 3 · 12⤊ 1⤋
I think you answered you own question when you said "I guess I always thought I was the one for him, even if he wasn't the one for me." - no harm, no foul. It's nice to be wanted but it's best to let that go if you have no intentions of fulfilling his dreams.
2006-06-19 09:25:54 · answer #2 · answered by Add Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kala sou lei o typos apo epano mou.
Ton stokoses ton anthropo. Dose tou kanena xrono kai ksana steile tou minima.x
Perhaps try getting a family friendship thing happening eventually?
Would suggest you ponder your reasons first... sometimes we just gotta say goodbye (personally, I'm tired of hearing it! ..haha oh, that's not funny)
2006-06-19 09:27:56 · answer #3 · answered by Chiron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me he has moved on. Many his wife to be doesn't want him chatting w/ you. You are married and he soon will be, let it go.
2006-06-19 09:23:22 · answer #4 · answered by SouthernKNC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him move on and you should too. Forget about him and let the past be the past.
2006-06-19 09:22:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it as a good sign that he has move on...and so should you....
2006-06-19 10:05:11 · answer #6 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget each other and don't over-romanticise things...!
2006-06-19 09:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by Nefeco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeh let him
2006-06-19 09:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋