I split from my husband nearly 3 months ago after a very controlling relationship, and I finally got the courage to tell him to pack his bags and go (infact I packed them for him)
But since he keeps telling me that he loves me and our daughter, and that he has changed he bombards me with text messages saying that and he keeps asking me for a second chance, I have applied for a divorce due to the harassment and controlling behaviour.
He just doesn't seem to understand that I want out. What can I do?
2006-06-19 01:03:24 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Final Divorce papers will be a pretty clear message. Change your e-mail address, change the locks on the door, change your telephone number - tell him to communicate through your attorney only. And then, endure. That is the only way it will happen.
2006-06-19 01:06:23 · answer #1 · answered by two 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
simple get a restraining order against him to stay away and to prevent any contact with you and or your daughter until after the divorce is finalised. in the mean time i suggest you contact your phone company and get your phone number changed and if you can try to move to a different address somewhere several hundred miles from him.
the harrasment you are getting from him can be classed as a criminal act so consult a solicitor/lawyer and get proffesional help. you may also be able to get advise from your local police station regarding what action they can take in the matter.
either way good luck.
just remember just because it's over your daughter will still want her dad so through a solictor try and come to some sort of arrangement over visitation between now and the divorce.
none of my business but is there a new man in your life? if so get him to "talk to your hubby" if your hubby hits the guy then your hubby will be in the police cells for atleast 8 hours i'd reccomend you move out to a hotel in this time and arrange for new accomodation from there. then when you have your new place have the police assist you in moving out if you feel your hubby may become violent or verbally abusive.
just remeber at the end of the day, his controlling nature may be the way he was brought up and may be the only way he knows how to show you he loves you.
in the pressence of someone independant try and discuss the situation, you may find that the divorce is not required (unlikely but just talk) give him 6 months to change his controlling nature that's the minimum time it is going to take for any cvhange to become apparent as semi permenant.
if you can stay together this may be good in the long run for your daughter.
2006-06-19 01:21:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly well done for doing what you did. Don't go back to him whatever you do as he hasn't changed - I don't even know him but i know enough to say that there's no way he'll have changed and things will eventually just go back to the way they were if you go back. Get the advice of a lawyer regarding the harassment and what can be done about it. You have the right to live your life without getting hassled by him. You can take out a court order i'm sure, banning someone from coming near you or contacting you. One of my friends had to do this, and if the other person breaks this ban, they're in legal trouble then.
2006-06-19 03:34:21 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him the divorce papers, that's a pretty strong hint.
But talk to him, u married him for a reason and after a long relationship he will understand u better than u think. A rational conversation will help him to understand and move on with dignity.
Good Luck
2006-06-24 02:24:57 · answer #4 · answered by Salacity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it would be a pain but can you change your cell phone number? I mean, that has to be aggravating. It takes time. He's under emotional crap and he'll get past it at some point (unless he has a mental illness or something). I'm glad you got out of the relationship. Being controlled (that's why my ex- is an ex)
2006-06-19 01:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has the papers been served? Cut off communication with him. Select a go between to set up visitations for him and his child and let him know his and your lawyer will speak to each other regarding the divorce. Do not respond to the message. Let him know if he continues you will get a restraining order.
2006-06-19 01:13:39 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could move into a womens refuge.A leopard never changes its spots.get a restraining order,change your sim card.If you wish for him to see your daughter you can do it through a family centre so you dont have any contact with him.He will never understand its over,those type dont.I moved over 200 miles to get away from a control abusive freak.my kids and i have a happy peaceful life with a good hard working man.no hassle.only way to get rid of rubbish
2006-06-19 23:33:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a court order.Keep the text messages they will come in handy.Controlling behaviour never changes.Its a power thing .Been there myself .Keep your resolve move on be happy.Get a new mobile!!!!!
2006-06-19 01:21:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the police and get a restarining order on him. good on you for not taking his sshit anymore. change ur mobile number too,o2 give out free sims,so get online and apply to get some sent to u.do not give him ur number. good luck. ps: if u meet someone else then make sure he knows about it,that way he might just take the hint.xx
2006-06-19 01:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its always harder when a kid is involved. You have obviously made up your mind so just delete his messages and get the divorce papers issued as soon as possible. He will have to deal with it eventually.
2006-06-19 02:20:50 · answer #10 · answered by Ju 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋