Wife says she needs some time alone before she comes back home after 3 months seperated, I dont understand why

Question

We had a fight 3 months ago, and we had to seperate, but recently we have tried to work things out and shes more than happy to come back home. She just requested for some time alone without contacting or calling her, saying that she needs to heal the pain and clear her mind since we had a major fight. Now, what I know & Im sure of is that SHE IS HAPPY, and SHE WANTS TO MOVE BACK. What I dont understand is why she cant just come back & we can try and heal the pain together? I mean, Im hurt too, but theres nothing I want more than having her back home as soon as possible! But she insisted, and I had to give her the space.

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY AND WHAT IS GOING ON IN HER MIND?!

Thanks :)

I dont think shes cheating on me or that she does want to seperate, and thats because she called me earlier and said that she felt like seeing me today :)

We went together, had lunch, searched for a new flat to move in to, and searched for holiday packages for the summer. She still said that she needs some more time, but if she was cheating or not coming back then she wouldnt have spent the day with me!

Answer 1

She needs to be sure, this won't happen again. She is not sure if coming back home will prevent her of going through this experience again. It seems it was very traumatic to her, she doesn't know if Worth to investor insist on this relationship...perhaps the pain caused to her was almost the size or bigger than the all pleasure she has of being with you. She is confused and trying to figure out, what she feels about you, love or disappoint.
Traumas, change people feelings pushing them to be more protective.
You can't expect that after a very ugly fight with psychological trauma, she simply come back home and you guys get together again. People need time to heal.
I think you are in a very bed situation, sorry to say that.
It seems you are very close of loose her if you haven't lost her yet. Now, if she comes back, you will need to rebuild her trust on you again, for she open herself for you again and the love float.
Another thing, I think you should take some time to think about the fight too and reflect, because someone whom really cares about another, shouldn't have the behavior you are having, or you are immature and have no knowledge about peoples feelings, or about yourself. Don't think I am offending you by telling you are immature, I am just trying to help you and as I always say, honesty is the best option to find the right solution for our problems.

Answer 2

She needs time to heal and get past things first. She still feels pain and hurt here. You really do need to give her that space and time that she is asking for and let her clear her mind and think. If you do not give here the time and space she needs you may lose her all together and you do not want that to happen. She will come home and back to you when she is ready and dont force the issue and try to force her back. That would only lead to disaster and more problems. Love her and support her where she is at and the best way you can help her right now is to give here the time and space that she needs.

Answer 3

I'm not sure since you both have talked about everything. She's been gone for 3 months, I would think that is enough time. She may be cheating, thinking she'll see if there is something better before she comes back. I 'm not 100% on that though. It just isn't making a whole lot of sense. You've worked thru everything and now she doesn't want any contact for how long? I wouldn't trust this - its up to you. It sounds like you might just have to say more to her about that. Good luck. I really hope it works out for you. You sound like a good husband.

Answer 4

Have you ever heard of the "red flag"?????????? This is definitely a sign. If she were ready to come back home she would. What I'm wondering is this..........what was the fight all about in the first place to make you guys separate???? Move on with your life and give her all the space that she needs. This will give your heart time to heal from all of this. Ask yourself this question...............Will this happen everytime we have and argument??? Married couples have disagreements.....that's no excuse to separate, and you know it too. So go ahead and start the process now.....to heal your heart

Answer 5

She's not coming back. Obviously. If she was happy to come back and really wanted to, then she'd be coming back, not having time to herself with no contact from you. See the flashing signs. She's not using this time to heal the pain so she can come back, she's healing the pain so she can move on.

Answer 6

Women say that for one of two things. Either she truely is confused and needs time to make up her mind as to what she wants, or she already knows and just isn't ready to tell you yet. Three months is plenty of time in my opinion to make her mind up. If she is happy and wants to move back she would have done it already. Don't waste your life away waiting for her. Good luck!

Answer 7

Agree with her don't fight this one,If you do it will make you look helpless and thatis not good.Tell her to take as much time as she wants because that is what you need to be sure.That will make her question her motives then she will look at you guys relatinship more closely

Answer 8

i think maybe your wife really got very hurt more than you do.and she might be afraid this will happen again thats why she wants to think things over
have you ask for forgiveness yet? this will be the start of the healing process...
anyway,be patient with her and pray..

Answer 9

give her the time, maybe she just wants to make sure first, are you sure she is not seeing someone else, but dont wait to long babe, you have to call some of the shots too.