as a daughter...i see more of my dads bad part of him..i really dont know how to explain it!!?

Question

my mom and dad sperated for 3 years and my dad is now back in the house. at first he was nice and now hes just mean...my mom doesnt really see it...all she see's is the husband she wants back. but its hurting me and my brother. and my dad no longer comes home.....hes 19. i miss him so much. its all my dad fault and hes taking advantage of my mom. shes way too nice. and i dont know what to do about anything. my mom and dads situation is ruining me and making me depressed some times...i dont know how to deall with some things ....like my parents. my mom talks to me about everything and sometimes i dont like it...its bringing me down...but then if i told her she cant talk to me no more then i would be letting her down. help me .....give me advice!!

Answer 1

Tell your mom about the conflicting feelings you have about her talking to you. You are not her therapist. It seems like she is using you to help herself feel better and since you are her daughter, it should be the other way around.

You don't have much say about what your parents do in their relationship. It effects you, but you can't change what they do, you just need to find a way to deal with it.

I think maybe you should tell your parents that you are not coping with the family situation very well and you want to talk to someone about your feelings. Get with a therapist and talk things out. The therapist can help you find ways to deal with the crisis in your family better.

Answer 2

She should let you talk to her. Express yourself as you have just done with us. Explain all your feelings to her calmly and quietly. That way it stays a conversation and not a yelling match. You need to speak with her and find some common ground, a compromise. you could also write her a letter, but don't accuse her and be judgemental. If you do then there will be a argument and nothing can be settled. Good luck.