My parents aren't actually married but they have been together for 16 years. I think they only stay together because of me. and now my dad is building a really cool house for us and mom is trying to help but every time mom makes a suggestion dad shoots her down and yells at her. mom thinks dad is trying to take the easy way out and force her to brake up with him. I don't want to choose between my parents but it seems like that choice is going to be forced on me pretty soon. any suggestions?
2006-06-18 18:37:32 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like this is really tough on you. Your parents have no right to make you take sides against one or the other. You say that you don't want to choose, and you don't have to. If one of the other tries to get you to side with them, try saying something like, "I love you both. I cannot make any judgements against either of you. I understand that you guys may be in a rough patch right now, but I do not have to and will not take sides." The only thing you can do is love them. (with your dad not letting your mom help, it could just be a guy thing, he wants to be the provider and make the house himself. It may just be a way to prove his manliness)
I hope things get better for you. Watching parents fight or yell at each other can be a very scary thing. it seems like you care about your parents, but how is this whole thing affecting you? Sometimes people find it helpful just to talk things through outloud with a close friend they trust. Try talking to a good friend, or maybe a close relative or teacher about how you feel about the whole situation...it may make things a bit easier to deal with.
2006-06-18 18:45:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it's not always easy to choose between both of ur parents but, if u choose to go with ur mom u can go visit ur dad and sleep over every weekand and things like that, but i didn't have a chose back then u're lucky that u know these things now.
2006-06-19 01:42:41 · answer #2 · answered by AppleSoda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is always tough for anyone...but no one should stay
together just for the sake of staying together -and verbal abuse is not tolerated and your mother should not take anything from your father...peopel grow apart all the time as thewy move on in their lives...they need to be happy or move on- go with your mother, she will be more supportive with your needs, your dad sounds selfish if he finds putting your mom down to be the right thing to do...
2006-06-19 03:17:23 · answer #3 · answered by fscape444 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now did your Dad tell you that that is what he wants to do???
Maybe your Dad, is just over whelmed with the details of building a house it's not an easy task, money issues, labour issues, time issues, permits and so on and he just doesn't know how to express that.
You can sit them down and talk to them about it, tell them you're concerned that they might separate and you don't want to have to choose between them.
Try it, bet ya, you'll feel better and at least they'll know how you feel and maybe not worry about you.
2006-06-19 01:45:55 · answer #4 · answered by liathano70 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually your dad is not forcing your mum to break up. If your dad really want a break up, why he build a house? Actually sometimes husband and wife do have some arguments. Some man just can't control his temper. You should have console your mum that your dad is not force her to break up. But if its really happen, as their children, you can't do anything. Let the adult settle their problem. Take care yourself... Don't think too much...
2006-06-19 02:23:04 · answer #5 · answered by rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a saying... if a couple can make it through building a house they can make it through anything. But, it is really stressful and hard work for both. My parents went through the same thing... but they made it! Hang in there and support both your parents. Remember they both love you... and you should never take sides... let their problems be and stay between them.
2006-06-19 01:44:15 · answer #6 · answered by M~Lyna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hope that this is just another one of those "heated disscussions" that parents get into but refuse to call them fights. do yr best to help out with the things they fight about (ex. the house is dirty, the lawn needs mowing, etc.) otherwise theres not much u can do. let them know that u love them both very much. and if the topic arrises let them know that u will b devestated if u have to choose which parent to go with and having to switch holidays between them. try to be the bigger person, be supportive and listen. i hope everything goes well for u.
good luck
2006-06-19 01:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by babygurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your dad may beleave your mom will just take the house from him community law states you dont have to be married as long as your in the picture custity of minors and the house if its the home of the miners goes to the parent who makes the most money but once your 18 she can take the house regardless of how much she makes.good luck
2006-06-19 01:48:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 16 yrs, that piece of paper (marriage license) don't mean they aren't married. By your being able to get on-line to ask this information, it shows that unfortunately things may not turn out like you want, but you'll eventually be able to handle it.
2006-06-19 03:23:00 · answer #9 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not worry, be happy! Why did not you realize after 16 years that that is the way your parents like each others ?
2006-06-19 01:43:06 · answer #10 · answered by sastra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋