My husband cannot stick to the original argument. He has to bring up other stuff. If we start fighting about somehting retarded, he wants to bring up everything I've ever done wrong. Escalating the fight to an "End all" to our marriage. It drives me nuts. Stick to the friggin' subject !
2006-06-18 18:36:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe you should take a trip to hawaii ... but make sure its a ONE WAY Trip !!
2006-06-18 18:44:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Men have done this exact same thing for ever and they always will. It is their way of winning an argument. If they are in the wrong about the original argument it will surface faster than not.
When he starts with the past stuff, just be quiet and let it flow till he realizes you are participating in that argument, it is a dead issue already argued and resolved. You are in the present argument and if he doesn't have anything else he can add to the present one then I would say you are the winner in that battle.
Make your answers short and to the point, your questions clear and never waver from your original complaint or explaination or they will try to say you are lying and can't keep your stories straight.
Men want to win. At any cost to you or what ever they will cut you to your bones to win. Then they are sorry they did but not enough to take it back, because that would mean they did not win!
Immature,yes, they all are. Can you stand it , only you know for sure. But it is not a new thing at all.
2006-06-20 02:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always better to bring up every little thing you can think of to try and win the argument and get the marriage over with in a timely fashion.
2006-06-19 01:41:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to bring up old stuff in order to avoid real issues. I found that changing the argument away from the issue at hand was less scary and allowed me to control the situation. Ultimately this behavior seems to come from either fear or a desire to control. I found Scot Stanley's book "A Lasting Promise" to be a great help in understanding how to relate better with my spouse and to identify and avoid behaviors that hindered communication.
2006-06-19 01:49:02 · answer #4 · answered by schafer_mail 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I stick to the original subject, there's no point other than to hurt your partner to bring up the past.
2006-06-19 01:56:20 · answer #5 · answered by messedupsingledad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't usually bring up the past unless I'm needing it to make a point (which never helps anyway). My husband usually argues over things he has made up so I'm stuck defending myself against his imagination. - but I love him anyway lol.
2006-06-19 05:23:53 · answer #6 · answered by LOVE2LD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think alot of people do that. Some feel it's their only defense to prove a point. Some just do it to hear themselves talk. But I'm sure he just feels he has to defend himself and that's his only way of doing it. Just try to deal with it and talk to him about it when your not fighting.
2006-06-19 01:43:43 · answer #7 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sad! Ok, print this in big,bold letters and post it in your bedroom wall:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
(NIV)
Then, PRAY that the Lord will change his bad attitude and for yourself too.God bless you!
2006-06-19 06:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by JMac 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest with you I do a little of both.
2006-06-19 01:44:26 · answer #9 · answered by tantalizin1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋