Is it unacceptable to have a certain lifestyle when you have children?

Question

A woman has 5 chldren, 21 to 9 years old, 1 son and 4 daughters. She also has 2 grandchildren, 6 years old and 6 months old, both girls. The woman know lives her life as a dyke. She is in her mid fourties and her girlfriend is in her mid twenties. She neglects her children for her relationship. She also does unappropiate things to her girlfriend around her children. What type of affect could this have on her children. Her oldest (son) lives with his dad, her oldest daughter and her 6 yr. old live with their aunt, her 15 yr. old daughter and her 6 mo. old have been bouncing from family members and is now back at home, and her 2 youngest girls live with their father. I feel bad for the kids because they have to see their mom like this. She dresses like a man and acts like a man, she even wears a strap on penis. I don't understand why she can't be discreet with her lifestyle to protect her children. It's not acceptable behavior for a mother.

Answer 1

I Dont think that her sexual preference should come into this if it werent for her lack of parenting.In other words, I think if she chooses to be gay, that's her business.The fact that she likes to dress more manly, is her business.The fact she wears a strap on(if in the privacy of her bedroom), her businees.The fact she neglects her kids, that's when she crossed the line.I am mad as a mother, not a woman.I dont care who she wants to be sexual with, or wears, but when she neglects her kids, who are minors, and they need her, is so sad.You should, if possible, and are in the kids life, spend time with the kids.They need support and guidance now, but don't critisize their mom in front of them.This wont help anything.I feel outraged as a mother when other mothers neglect their kids....for any reason or person.That is so sad and thank God for the people who stepped in to take care of these kids!!

Answer 2

Yeah it isnt but you don't know how it will affect the kids so maybe u dont need to assume it will ruin their lives. But it dosent mean it wont be making them unhappy now. She should be willing to talk about it with her kids, even if it's not what she wants to hear.

However if she is neglecting them that sucks and I can personally tell you the years of damage it can do and how it turns you into a sucker who has no self esteem and falls for anyone who is nice to them. I could tell her that personally (except I dont know her) but please dont tell me shes one of these ppl who thinks that all kids need is to be fed to be happy. For goodness sake people are so much more complex than that! I hope she realizes if her kids arent happy and if she won't hear it then you have a problem. Ask her about these issues not the gay issue because you have more chance of hell freezing over than getting her to change her mind, sexuality is a very precious thing and she probably wont listen to anything your saying after you criticize that.