My wife says she might be gay, I told her to experiment to know for sure is that wrong?

Question

I don't want to pressure her or watch or anything I just want her to be sure of herself.

Answer 1

Kudos to you man. I think you deserve an overwhelming round of applause.

Its hard to question your sexuality, and sometimes it is even harder once you start to find answers. I think it is great that you still love and support your wive, and you want to have a relationship based on real respect for each other's fundamental human dignity.

You might want to do some reading on mixed orientaiton marriages (I adore Joe Kort's writing for Ex-Gay Watch, so I'll reccomend this article by him: http://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/so05_casestudies.htm) and consider adding some couples therapy if things get rough. But I think that ultimately you're making the right decision for both of you here. Forcing her to live a lie will not make your marriage strong or godly or any of the crap people in this thread are saying. But confronting issues honestly (even when it is rough) is the best way to go. Good luck!

Answer 2

Good on you Curious_One. i would say ignore what most people in here are saying about the whole experimenting thing being wrong. its totally natural.

I can be honest with you and say that what your wife has done is possibly the hardest thing that she has ever come across in her life. What i mean is that admitting that you are potentially gay and feeling the need to possibly try things out is hard enough. Now because she is already with somebody, admitting it is even harder. Giving her a little space is hard, VERY HARD, but it sounds like youve got an open mind, which is fantastic.

Just because she has told you this does not mean she doesnt love you or doesnt want to be with you. This could just be a little bit inside of her that is telling her it needs to be done.

I dont really know what else to say aside from you being a truely open and brilliant man! Giving somebody the opportunity to fulfill an inner twitch is extremely difficult to deal with and this would mean a lot to her. i personally believe that it could strengthen what you have, if she does decide that it is not her thing, it can only mean that she can trust you in letting her persue what she wants to do in life.

You sound like a loving and fantastic man for this.

I wish you all the best,

Josh
Auckland, New Zealand.

Answer 3

Not wrong... but not precisely right either. If one has a low sex drive and is more bisexual than hetero or homo, I can imagine them possibly being confused and possibly needing to experiment mentally, emotionally and masturbatorily to know for sure if they are indeed bisexual. But are you guys already generally in an open marriage, swinging and whatnot? If so, then experiment away... otherwise you should probably talk about it a lot more and discuss it with a counselor, some open minded liberal clergy, or anything more reliable than an online q and a board.

Answer 4

That's cool! I think it's awesome that you would be so understanding, but does it bother you at all that she would be experimenting with someone other than her own husband? It's not wrong at all though! It's better for her to know! Because if it turns out that she is gay, and she never experimented then she might go own the rest of her life unhappy!

Answer 5

According to some peoples beliefs and practices it probably is "wrong". According to others, no it is very right. What is important is what you and your wife share as your beliefs and practices...that's why it is your marriage, centered in the Heart that you both share....with the One that Lives there with you. Seek God, within your own Heart, let your answeres come from within and be "verified' from without. Your mind will try to give you the answeres, but they will be filtered and colored by all the stuff you put into your mind on a daily basis, programming it, as you will. Best to look in the Heart as it is not influenced by this ocean of "worldliness". The same world that God Loved so much that God gave His only Begotton Son, that whomsoever would believe (is that be & leave) in Him (in God or His Son? doesn't matter...names and forms of the same One), would not parish, but have everlasting Life. Its your Life.......enjoy!
Love me :)

Answer 6

If you are married and exchanged the usual marriage vows, you promised to stay together and not mess around with anyone else. If she wants out of the marriage so that she can experiment, let her go. Maybe a trial separatoin. But for her to experiment while married to you, that defeats the whole idea of marraige.

Answer 7

that's undesirable because marriage is an quite previous custom older then the right religions of proper this second. Christianity is largely 2k years previous human beings were married longer then that. Catholicism is about as previous because the city of Rome it really is about 3-5k years previous? (no longer effective how previous that's). Judaism been round for style of four-6k years. So Marriage is truly better a human heterosexual sexual faith then non secular. Fossil study element out that humanity were round for better then 2 million years (oldest fossil and strategies of human ancestry is dated to be 2.9 Million years previous). If human ancestors were utilising strategies for that lengthy opportunities are intense that marriage would were prepare for that era of time as well. So marriage is the Oldest Human custom to stay in tact replacing a convention like that ought to reason many situation that ought to even leed to wars as human beings in the previous were understand to wrestle to the death to save their traditions. the real question human beings could ask is Why is it reliable for gays to get married? To boaster their ego!? their pride!? the tax advantages of being label as a pair? equivalent rights? no matter if that's equivalent rights they search for then they ought to take up yet another course. somewhat of attempting to remove the custom of marriage they ought to create their personal custom. after all the yankee structure keeps marriage definition of being between a guy and a lady and it also states that it protects traditions. If the gay community were a lot less prideful and better real looking they take complete earnings of that and create a convention of their personal.

Answer 8

Wow you must really love her, or really not be into the relationship. Either way, your support is wonderful. I would ask her to be safe--there is protection for women on women!

Chances are she is bi if not gay. You may need some emotional support from understanding friends thru this time. I can't imagine this is easy for you, and my heart goes out to you

Answer 9

if shes a gay lezbian then i don't think shed want to be your wife and also if she has bi tendencies then im sure shes already been with another woman ..and you didn't get to watch...LOL That last little sentence just told on you.... best be yourself first and i'm sure she will figger out who she is ........stay In school

Answer 10

I told my husband from day one that guys dont do it for me.......by our 18th anniversary I couldnt take it anymore and told him I needed a woman in my life.......it started out just for sex & I had his understanding........but then I met HER and the marriage was all over.........I hope you're prepared for whatever may happen.......the only consolation to my story is that my ex & I remain very good friends.