I need help PLEASE.....what should i do?

Question

my bf went to rehab and I am 8 months pregnant with our fourth. I found a girl wrote on his folder from rehab and left her number. He got out Thurs. She got out Sat. Anyway. SHe has been calling him since she got out. I heard their convo and he was planning on calling her a work...(while he was at work on his lunch). When I walk in he tells her he has to call her back. We have been together 8 years and nothing like this has ever happen. I am a mess and don;t know if i should be upset and if he might want her??What do you guys think? I asked him to stop tlaking to her and he tells me he would but I found out htat he plans to call her now at work. what should i do???/

Answer 1

Be patient but firm with him. Having just gotten out of rehab, he is going to be especially sensitive to pressure, so try not to put too much on him right now. It could just be that they are talking as friends who can relate...I mean, they both just finished going through the saem thing and perhaps it brings comfort to be able to talk to someone who has been there as opposed to someone on the "outside". so to speak. If it gets to where it is an everyday thing and ti goes on and on for a while, then you can push the subject....tell him it bothers you, to stop it (or at least keep it to a minimum) because you will not tolerate it. Just be careful.....as I said, he is sensitive right now, and too much nagging and pushing could cause him to seek out something to escpae with....be it drugs or a new found woman. Nobody likes to be told who they an and can't be friends with, so just trust him, have faith in him, and be there to support him, because those things are what he needs the most right now. If you do that, I think everything will be fine.

Answer 2

You really have more pressing concerns being in your condition. You don't need the stress or depression, so, just ask him how would he react if the situation was reversed? He wouldn't like you speaking to another guy under any condition, and definitely from the house you two live in together. Let him know that you are not accusing him of anything, but you really have a problem with his actions toward this other female. Find out if he has any specific needs that you'd be willing to take care of because you love him (if this is the case). Don't give him a chance to say you'll not fulfilling his needs making it easy to turn to her.

Answer 3

Make clear u know he is doing things behind your back. Don't be silent about it bc that will give him even more room to continue his business. I think you should say firmly u dont want this and u r not accepting this. I believe ur intuition is telling u rightly and he is maybe not cheating, but in a fase b4 the actual act will happen. Remind him of his family and his kids and let him make up his mind if he want u in future or go for his fling. dont let ur selfesteem lower and go down the drain bc he can not control his hormones. U have the right to be happy, u dont deserve a man who does not respect you. Good luck!

Answer 4

I would start making sure you are financially able to support you and your kids.

I suspect he is feeling connected because they have gone through something seriously together. They have bonded; sucks I know but you have to face this. The more you argue with him about it, the more it pushes him to her. She will seem like the great and understanding friend.

Carve out one on one time with him. Talk with him as you once did. Don't criticize, empathize. Forget you have kids, forget you have bills etc...date him again. Draw him back to you. Make him appreciate what he has.

As for this lady..hint. Keep your friend close, and your enemies closer. Tell him you understand he has bonded with her and although it makes you feel uncomfortable, if he would make the effort to remove the suspicion, you can live with it. We often forget ourselves in a marriage so remember he still needs to have his own life and you need yours. Anyway, tell him you would love to meet and spend some time embracing her into your lives. His reaction will likely expose any improper business going on.

In the meantime, prepare yourself in case you have to be on your own. More than anything, take care of you, the pregnancy and your other children. Is anyone really worth stressing your body and baby over? heck no.

Hope that helps.

Answer 5

if you're not married, pray about it then leave him.
if you're married, that's a totally different situation.
you're now on your 4th child. your b/f will do whatever he is going to do whether you like it or not. even if it's behind your back.
it's really not the girls fault b/cuz she is only going by what he is telling her. he's more accountable b/cuz he knows what he's doing. it's the kids that are going to suffer thru this. but i know 1 thing for sure is that if you serve god, go to church he'll help u thru this situation. he's your everything, he's your strength. start praying to god & ask him what you should do. pray for the situation that's going on & he'll answer your prayer & show u what to do.
maybe if you answer the phone if she calls him, tell her that he's your b/f & you're on your 4th child. some women/girls just don't care. but remember that saying !! u reap what u sow, meaning what comes around goes around.
talk to your b/f & let him know exactly how u r feeling.....
ask him if the tables were turned if he'd like u doing the same thing to him? make him think.
he's going to do whatever he wants to, make good or bad decisions/choices but he needs to remember that there's always consequences to pay if they're the wrong/bad choice/s.
good luck.

Answer 6

I believe the only immediate choice available to you is to have your baby. Recover, and immediately seek financial support from him for your soon to be 4 children. Do you have any family that could help you? If not, then check to see exactly what kind of assistance is available in your area.
Dont wait for HIM to decide what he's going to do. He's obviously not a responsible individual. And STOP sleeping with him immediately!

Answer 7

The fact that he told you one thing and did another means he is lying to you girl!!Let him go be with her and they can go through the rehab stuff together.You are pregannt with his child and he seems to have no respect for you.You don't need "us" to tell you that.Leave him, go to the courts and make him take care of his child.If he is a cheater(and the fact he is talking to another girl while he is with you and need I remind you....you are pregnant!!!!!)means he is a cheater!!!....says you dont need it, your child dosent need it, and you two(you and your child)deserve better.Let him go and find someone better who will respect you.

Answer 8

I talk to him and say she been calling for a very long time,then after that i will ask him are u having a affair with her?

Answer 9

I think you need to think about your needs and though of your children. I've been married 35years to the same person I fell in love with and I wouldn't think about cheating on her like your boyfriend is planning on doing to you.

Answer 10

he met her in rehab how far do you think the two will go to another drug house they want get far before next time in jail pray for them both