she wants a diviorce what do i do?

Question

I have loved my wife since i was in the 7th grade, we havent been togeather the whole time but we have been married for 3 years. She told me last month that she wasnt in love with me anymore and sasy she doesnt know why. She said she wanted me to show her that i loved her more since then i was have been waking her up with her favorite coffie rubbing her feet when she gets off work and giving her flowers anything and everything i could think of to the point where i was buring myself out. Just treating her like a total princess. Even calling her princess. telling her she looked beautiful everyday. Complimenting her new outfits and actually noticing. She was even sending me e-cards saying hi and i love you to me. Last sunday she said she still wasnt in love with me and said she wanted to seperate and i had to find my own place and leave her alone and she was going to date other people. To respect her wishes i took our son and left town for a month (current) Now she is dating someone else

Answer 1

Sad.
I am a father with custody of my now 20 year old daughter. It is very sad. If it doesn't work out, you will greive the end of the relationship.

You owe it to yourself to rest knowing you did everything you could to keep the relationship. I would make one last case with her. Try to convince her to stay with you, but if and probably when she rejects it, move on.

Do your best to get a non-contested divorce. Know this, you will only retain custody of your son if she allows it. Courts give the children to the mother if they just look like they want it. So if she agrees, keep your son with you, if not, let her have him and fight for the best visitation you can get, Joint custody, if you can get it.

Do some work on healing yourself and do what you can to get yourself back to happy with yourself. People make mistakes, big mistakes but it doesn't make them failures. Don't expect to re-establish a close relationship until you have gotten yourself off the rebound and back to a normal life.

Good Luck and Sorry to hear about your loss.

Answer 2

My heart goes way out for you, honestly!
I think she may have been seeing this other guy even before you left with your son.
Unfortunately you can't force some one to love you even if you shower them with compliments and gifts.
You could try to talk to her about why she doesn't want to be with you. Ask her if there is something you need to change to help the marriage work.
Otherwize, leave her. It could be some sort of phase or crises that may blow ever.
Even if it isn't I have a very strong feeling you will get over the pain and find some one worthy of your love.
In fact if I weren't married myself I'd consider you. My husband rubbed my feet once in the past 9 years and I'm on them the whole 8 hour shift of work.

Answer 3

So now you know. She's been cheating on you. Asking for a divorce before making it public was the least she could do, so, let her go for both you and your child's sake. You two are better off than dealing with an unhappy female who's apt to do things that would change your views of her before you'd be asking for the divorce. It won't be easy, but with prayer and God in your life, it can be durable over time. There's someone out there who can make you happy if given the chance and be a good step-parent for your kid. It's usually the guy asking for divorces. Sorry things not working out, take care.

Answer 4

Your soon-to-be ex-wife is just making you look like a fool, she's cheating on you and the best thing is to really forget about her. The only person in this marriage that is of utmost concern is neither you nor your wife but your child. I seriously think that you should bring up your child in the best possible way, however hard it may be. But being a good father/parent is about making sacrifices.

So I wish you all the best, and God's love find you and your child always and everywhere.

Cheers.

Answer 5

You have to realize that once the love knot has been untied there is nothing that will put things back the way they were, even if you do get back together there will always be doughs in your mind. SO once you get over this situation start a new life for you and your son.Think positive all the time, if you think negative you will be the looser.

Answer 6

Let me get this straight; 1.She's not in love with you.2.She lets you pamper her 3. She wants you to move out 4. She doesn't care if you take your child She doesn't sound like a very lovable person to me. Remember....the most important person here is not your wife...not even you...The most important person is your child. Do what is best for him/her. That doesn't always mean having a mother and father living under the same roof. Do whatever it takes to insure your child's safety and happiness.

Answer 7

Wow your story made me want to cry! I am so sorry for you! I can tell you are still in love with her. That is so sad. I bet she met this guy before you left and she needed a reason to be with him. You cant just love someone for 3 year and then tell them you don't love them anymore. That's crazy! I guess you just pick up the pieces and move on, as hard as that is for me to say. I am truly sorry though! Good luck! :-)

Answer 8

SHE kicked you out with a child?! What the hell?! I say that the one taking care of the children gets the house, or is it an apartment?

Anyways it hurts, it sucks, but obviously she's not in love. I think you'd be best to move on, to recover and let go, I hate to say it but it looks like she has.

Be strong for your son, and do your best by him.

Answer 9

you did all that work for nothing start treating her like crap and she will miss the old you,trust me if someone thinks you dont love them that makes the other person want them more.you sound like a pretty stand up guy,YOU SHOULDNT LET WOMEN WALK ALL OVER YOU!!and that is coming from a women,start dating someone and let it get back to her it will drive her nuts knowing you moved on even if you havent.i cant beleive she didnt want her son to live with her. be a good father to him.god bless

Answer 10

She is probably having an affair. She is using you to get all this attention and she is enjoying you kissing her @ss all the time, and she is probably getting sex from somewhere else. When women say they want to seperate they are basically saying "I want you out of the way so I can have this affair". Hope this helps.