Mother doesnt want child support, just have the father pay for the baby's needs. can this be done??

Question

please help me out, the mother of my husbands little boy doesnt want to go to court for child support. they were never married and they both agreed on the father just buying what the little boy needs. well now he wants to do the right thing and have something set up on child support and visitation but she doesnt want to go through all that. but he is worried that she will come back in years and say he never paid for anything. can he try to go to court, have it set up so he can pay child support, see his son on scheduled days without her agreement?? how will the court favor that??? please let me know, i want to try to do everything i can for him so we can get this taken care of. he loves his son soooo much and misses him like crazy when he is not around and he is just trying to be a good father and take care of his son..

Answer 1

Wow! A real father. That's so rare! Anyway, yes he can go to court & get visitation & a set amount of support. If you can afford 1 get an atty. They can handle everything for you. If not, call the local child support enforcement office & they can get you the paperwork.

Answer 2

From experience I will give a little advice, for what it is worth. Try to encourage him to pay child support through the courts for the reasons that you state. I believe that you have to get an attorney for this, unfortunately, because you need a court order. At the very least, keep every single receipt, try not to ever use cash. Above all, as the years pass, be supportive of your husbands relationship with his son. You might have to bite your tongue but it will be worth it.

Answer 3

If this matter goes through the legal system then the IRS/Tax office will know she is receiving money. You can get a legal agreement drawn up with mutual consent using a lawyer but stopping short of court. Only use court if either party is seriously in breach of written agreement.
Stay in the background yourself. This is between your husband and the mother of his child.

Answer 4

O.K. IT CAN BE DONE BUT LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING IF THAT HER WISH FINE JUST KEEP ALL RECEIPTS AND MAKE SURE HE GIVE THE BABY MEDICAL INSURANCE BUT IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO CHILD SUPPORT MAYBE SHE MAKES MORE MONEY THAN HIM THEY GO ACCORDING TO SALARIES ANOTHER THING YOU REALLY DON'T WANT YOU THE CHILD'S FATHER TO GO ON THE SYSTEM GOD FORBID HE'S UNABLE TO KEEP UP PAYMENTS DUE TO ILLNESS OR LOSS OF JOB IT WILL GO ON HIS CREDIT REPORT AND THE COURTS DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU OR HE IS STILL OBLIGATED TO THAT NOTE...AND I KNOW HE'S TRYING TO BE A GOOD FATHER BUT SOMETIMES WOMEN LIKE HER IS REALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO LET THAT HAPPEN SO TAKE SOME PRECAUTIONS BEFORE DOING ANYTHING AND IT'S 17% OF SALARY AND THAT'S A GIANT CHUNK IN THE LONG RUN HE WILL GET MORE THAN THAT JUST BY HIM NOT GOING TO CHILD SUPPORT B UT AT YOUR PACE NOT THE PACE OF THE COURTS START KEEPING A LEDGER OF ALL MONEY AND THINGS THAT THE FATHER HAS BROUGHT AND GIVEN TO THE MOTHER IF CASH IS EXCHANGED GIVE IT IN A MONEY ORDER OR CHECK BUT PREFERABLY A MONEY ORDER. i AM IN THE SAME PREDICAMENT AND IT'S BEEN 14 YEARS AND MY HUSBAND IS PAYING DEARLY.BUT CANT EVEN SEE HIS DAUGHTER SHE REFUSES DUE TO THE FACT THAT WE ARE MARRIED SHE WAS NEVER ABLE TO ACCEPT THAT I WAS THERE BEFORE HER AND STILL HERE AND NOT GOING ANYWHERE. KEEP TRACK OF EVERY LITTLE THING HE SPENDS ON HIS SON YOU WILL BE PREPARED IF EVER SHE GETS A BUG UP HER ***.

Answer 5

Get a good lawyer..Chances are she will come back later and it will be bad for him.
However till then Never give her cash there is no way of proving you gave it.
And I dont think she needs to agree to go to court,you just go when you are served the papers,like it or not.
Sounds like you got a good guy..Good Luck

Answer 6

Tell him to go to court.There is a way for them to set up a court date where she will have to go to court.they will subpoena her and then you can go before a judge and set up visitation, support, afetr you explain the situation to the judge.To me, I would think a judge would look HIGHLY to a man who takes his ex to court to pay child support and get visitation.Most of the time, moms are taking the father to court to do so.The fact that he wants to be involved in his childs life and wants to support him, he should be applauded.What a great man you have.Kepp him!!LOL.Good luck and go to the juvenile and domestic relations court in your area and file.You need to have her current address with you.Also, Usually you have to file in the county the child resides, but if I was you, I would check with your district first, and they can tell you where to go.Good luck!!

Answer 7

I don't blame them for wanting to avoid court and lawyers etc. If he does it all informally, makes sure that he documents EVERYTHING including every payment (make it by check, note that it is for child support, and photocopy it), and every card sent, birthday present bought, etc. He might just want to run this idea by a lawyer to see if it will cause problems later on. But truly, it is so much better to avoid lawyers and court if you can. Lawyers can polarize people and make them fight. It's better for the kids if parents can get along and avoid legal disputes.

Answer 8

Yes Yes Yes

Answer 9

first hold on to him and second the courts would be astonished that the man is taking himself to court for child support the courts are full of deadbeat jerks, i know mine owes 17,000.00 court ordered. and she may be in fear that this man is not the real dad and he may want a paternity test!

Answer 10

she might not want to go to court because if they were not married they might do a dna test and she might be nervous, but yeah, he can do that and she might not like it, but it is better to have him take it to court.it isnt about her, and if she wants him to help, she will have to suck it up and go to court.he can take her to court, set up support and there aint a damn thing she can do. think about it, most men dont want to go to court, but do you think the judge cares when the women bring the suit??my brother did that to his ex wife,and she was mad,cause she got her support, but the judge set visitation and she didnt have any say.