my husband has some dark secret about his childhood that either causes him to hide in a dark bathroom for hours when it's brought up, or get incredibly angry at me when i try to get him to talk about it. his relationship with his mom is almost non existent, maybe once a year he sees her, his stepdads a load of crap, and his real father hasn't been seen since he was 6. displays of emotion have always made him uncomfortable, but he at least USED to show me affection....it seems like something has caught up with him and it is changing him not for the better. if i try to talk about it, he won't speak to me for days, and it's like he gets a panicked look in his face. any ideas what it might be? my guy doesn't get scared at all about anything. we have been together for nearly 5 years, and this is the first time i have seen him get nightmares and cry out in his sleep. its tearing me up that he can't confide in me, or that something is hurting him so much.....
2006-06-18 16:15:05 · 6 answers · asked by mrs_eke 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this realy sounds sad...i wouldnt be too hurt that he cant confide in you yet, he could have endured olmost anything...it is not completely uncommon for little boys to be molested, and if thats the case, he probably cant tell you, because hes afraid of how you will look at him, and he may be getting worse because he WANTS to open up to you, but cant bring himself to it, if he does not want to talk, and things get a lot worse, let him know that you love him, no matter what, let him know that if he doesnt want to tell, you that its his choice, but also point out that HE seems to be the one suffering the most, and that you just want him to be happy again, no matter how he handles his childhood, at that point suggest a councelor, just someone he can talk to without the worry of how it will affect the way others think of him, since councelors are held to an oath of silence. good luck, i hope he finds a way to cope with it.
2006-06-18 16:26:05 · answer #1 · answered by Rose 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's one thing guys tend to do very well is not talk about person issues easily. Having said that, my ex was really withdrawn except when he was lashing out at me or the kids when he got in one of those state of minds from the past. Eventually, he began abusing me physically & mentally, always apologizing after the pain of it all. His issues weren't held in no longer than 3 months of marriage after being together for 2 years prior. So, ask him to get councelling asap, before things get out of hand.
2006-06-18 23:54:00 · answer #2 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont force him. Be patient and love him and let him come to you when he wants to talk about it. See if he is open to counselling and help for it too. This must really hurt and bother him alot and he has to heal from the pain and past of his child hood. He will come to you if he wants to talk. Dont push him or you just might push him away. I understand this hurts you but he is hurting too. You may also want to offer to go to counseling with him as well. He definitley needs help and therapy though for his past.
2006-06-18 23:20:09 · answer #3 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never force him to tell you. Just continue loving & caring for him. If he can develop his trust, everything will just come out naturally from his mouth. Just be patient with him.
2006-06-19 00:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by crystals 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we have 2 ears and 1 mouth, to listen more and talk less.
2006-06-18 23:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by pclement126 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this may need therapy on his part but he has to go because he wants to...but leave it alone..one day..he'll feel the need to tell you...
2006-06-19 03:37:17 · answer #6 · answered by juanes addicion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋