Why cant I be ok when Im alone? I feel miserable being by myself. How do you get through divorce without wanting to kill yourself? I would never actually kill myself because I have children though and I have faith in god.
2006-06-18 15:34:44 · 18 answers · asked by miranda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off, you are absolutely normal. If you really think about it, how many people do you know have ever lived alone? I know alot of people and I can only think of a couple. It's just not all that usual.
Also, you had a way of life with your husband. It may have been good or bad, I don't know, but it was your life. It was your routine. You had someone to lay down with at night, to eat with, watch tube with, whatever. This is all gone to, which is WAY hard to adjust to.
Finally, you have never lived alone before. It is all new. It is awkward. You don't have a routine down. It is lonely. It is just different.
I understand what you say about killing yourself. Really, if you have ever even thought seriously about it...talk to someone. If you have put a plan in to place, CALL A HOTLINE NOW! The fact that you typed it says you have thought about it, whether it was just a fantasy or for real. Your thoughts should not be taken lightly.
The worst thing in the world you can do is get in to another close relationship so you don't "feel" like you are alone. I bet you have family and friends that love you. I know it isn't so easy to reach out to them, and I am not saying you need to be with them all the time, but the fact that they are there for you means you are not alone. Also, you have your children, which means you are really not alone.
Divorce is a miserable, awful thing if yo are on the losing end. I don't know what it is like for the person who caused it. It seems like it isnt bad for them at all, but who knows. I know it is hard, but keep your head up. Start by cherishing the small things that you can enjoy by yourself. You will develop a routine, and everything will get better sooner than later.
Do things that make you happy. Don't look for other people to gain happiness from. Don't look to be with someone just because you don't want to be alone. It is unhealthy for you and that person.
Battle!
2006-06-18 16:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Cing 4 · 9⤊ 0⤋
The reason you are finding it so hard to be alone even with your kids is because you were use to your life the way it was. Now things are different, and it's new to you. I went through the same thing 11 years ago. I didn't miss my ex. I was just use to the situation I had gotten myself into. Believe me when I tell you that each day it will get better, the pain will be less and less and then one morning you are going to wake up and a whole new world will be open to you. I can also tell you that your children pick up on your emotions and even when you think you are not having an effect on the you are. Mine are grown and tell me now how they felt to watch me go through it all. Do yourself a favor, forget the marriage, let it go. Start new. If you don't feel better in a few days go to the Dr. and talk to them . They understand and can really help. I have been ex free for 11 years and except for the first few months it has been great. Keep that faith in God, and when in need look up, he is always there and if you ask will help. But remember, you don't always get what you want, you get what God sees is best for you. Good luck and God Bless!!!!
2006-06-18 23:02:21 · answer #2 · answered by Tammy G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is never a happy thing for sure and very few people find it easy to deal with at first. First, you are not alone with over 50% of marriages are failing. Then, you have two terriffic kids to keep you busy as you get back on your feet again. Go on a date! It's totally OK to do that and it will help you get back on track again. Don't allow yourself to get into a slump where you get lazy or disinterested. Be yourself and find the things in life that excite and interest you. You will find that you will be too busy to be
down about it. Sounds tough, but you can do it! You are a mom!
Best wishes to you!
2006-06-19 00:32:07 · answer #3 · answered by michael g 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said the magic words, I have faith in God. So, say your prayers and everything will get better a little at a time. Having kids to focus on helps too, but you need to take care of yourself right now. Find things to keep you busy, and keep your spirits up by looking great and talking to the people who care about your getting thru this your family, friends, and God. These things in your life are very important right now.
2006-06-19 00:50:30 · answer #4 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there,friend. It doesn't end there. There's more to explore on your life. You have your kids,friends,family. God has a purpose why He let these things happen. Look on the brighter side and don't lose hope. Your kids need you. Let them be your inspiration to move on. Enjoy every single moment while you are still alive. WE live only once and life is very precious for you to waste it. Try to go out with your kids and spend time playing or going to the mall with them. Simple things like those will help alleviate the pain you are going thru right now. Just be happy and Good luck...
2006-06-18 23:44:33 · answer #5 · answered by sweetsexything 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to divert to get your mind off of the divorce. Rent funny movies or go out to the movies, go to a comedy club with a friend, go hang out with your girlfriends, take a vacation with your kids or go do an activity with them, meet new people by taking a class or by taking up an activity where there's going to be men there, workout at a gym where there's going to be other men there-by working out it creates endorphins in the body and it makes you feel great! The possibilities are endless. It will get easier day by day!
2006-06-18 22:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET BUSY ON SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE! Take life one day at a time. Spend extra time with your chldren, if they are with you. Take them for walks, color with them, read to them, shut off the TV and don't watch all the phoney hype of being 'happy or unhappy.' Enjoy reality and your own life.
Take the kids to a botanical garden, go bird watching, find a stream to sit and reflect by while the kids play.
Volunteer for some charity. Go to church. Get active. Life isn't over, it's just in transition. Go with the flow.
Hope this helps. just keep moving and don't dwell on things that shudda, coudda, or woudda. Stay in the present and be thankful for who you are and your children.
2006-06-18 22:44:34 · answer #7 · answered by Chew on this! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling and help. Pray and seek God through this and get in the Word. Hang out with some Christian girl friends. Go to divorce crecovery workshop at a local church. http://www.marriagetoday.org is a great site too and email them and ask them for prayer and help. My wife and I are here if you need to talk.
2006-06-18 22:39:01 · answer #8 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable that you feel low - after the predicament you've been through. But a divorce doesn't end you life. I definitely agree with FAt Steve's advice..PRAY to God.HE cares for and loves you! He promised in Hebrews 13:5 .._I will never leave you nor forsake you." get help and counselling..God bless u!
2006-06-19 06:41:56 · answer #9 · answered by JMac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can learn to enjoy being with yourself. The trouble is that most people expect their mate to supply their happiness and it's not the way it is. Make yourself happy. Find hobbies, friends and set goals for yourself. Evaluate your values and be consistent. Make an effort to do something to help someone who needs it. Be involved in your own life. With that, you will be able to enjoy a relationship that is not based on neediness and you will enjoy your own space as well.
2006-06-18 23:01:07 · answer #10 · answered by purplewings123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋