If you have have a kid come up to you and say...?

Question

If you had a kid and they came up to you and said that they were being bullied, what would you do about, say that they are in grade 5-7. Do you think teachers would help? What's your honest opinion on how you would handle that situation?

Answer 1

This is a much more difficult question than the posters are making it out to be. Sure, it sounds logical to just go to the teacher, the other kids parents, the principal, etc., but the answer is not always this easy.

You have to realize, if you do this, you are putting your child at a greater risk for continued harassment, additional harassment and possibly even physical retaliation, which is much more likely than parents would like to believe. The worst thing in the world, especially for a boy, is to be labelled a "nark." His life will go from bad to worse. Kids will tease him about it; His classmates won't trust him; Kids will be unwilling to get close to him, etc.

It is possible that school officials could just keep a closer eye on it and bust the bully without the bully ever knowing that he had been "ratted" out. That would be the best case scenario.

If you call the bully's parents, 1 of 4 things can happen and 3 of them are not good and the good one is highly unlikely. You have to realize that, just like you, the bully's parents first reaction is to stick up for their child.

#1 The bully's parents could laugh you off
#2 The bully's parents could get real defensive and turn against you and your child
#3 The bully's parents could side with you, tell their kid about the conversation and then the bully would punish your child for your actions
#4 The bully could get in so much trouble that he straightens out and doesnt tell anyone about it (how likely do you think that is?)

The worst thing you can do is encourage your child to beat up the bully. Violence is never the answer. How effective and realistic is comebacks, avoidance, etc.? I guess it depends on the situation. I don't know that it will work though.

Where is the bullying taking place? What is the relationship between the kid and the bully? What does the kid say is happening? Does the kid give you details? Details are very important, because there could be a logical solution to the issue.

Finally, the advice you are looking for...older children...say 7th grade and up, (my experience is with the fellas so I come from that angle), are striving to be viewed as adults. The guys want to take on a mans role; Do the right thing; Help people; PROTECT PEOPLE. (I realize not all 7th and up guys are like this, but you can use your judgement to find the good ones) Get a fella that is a little older that you have some sort of relationship with, whether it be a coaches kid, family friend, etc. Tell him that your son is having an issue and it would be a real help if you could, "look after him, show him the ropes, help him along with the fellas, make sure he gets along alright." Hopefully, the younger kid looks up to this dude (younger guys usually do, pretty much, no matter what), tell the older kid, "my son really looks up to you. It would mean alot to him, but (and this is very important) it would mean just as much to me. You are a good kid. You are a good role model for him." This way you are empowering a young man. He will take ownership in the situation. He will watch out for your kid, and the bully will want nothing to do with an older kid, matter of fact, he will probably think he is down right cool and want to be his friend instead of foe.

Answer 2

I'd be so happy they had actually said something. Its a tricky one to handle. look on the internet there is HEAPS of stuff on dealing with bullying, including ways that actually really work so give it a try!
Just calling the bullies parents is not enough when they are older but when they are younger it CAN be an option. But I would be worried for the child once the bullies tried to get their own back having been told off by their parents. I'd talk to the childs parents about ways of boosting his/her self esteem. Try and help that child not to be a victim over again. I was bullied at school and no one talked to me when I needed it most. Try moving the bullies around the classroom and split them up. I think it's best to talk to the bullies themselves and say that you have noticed, or other ppl have commented on the way they treat this child. Look up some good sites and talk to them about it. Discipline rarely works and you need to willingly if possible, get them to stop, they are so young it would be a bit harder with older children but you can do with the right kind of techniques.
Bullying wrecks lives, causes personality disorders and sometimes even deaths.
If youre not a teacher then I guess you should really tell their teacher or someone who is connected in some way what you know.

Answer 3

Give the kid some good advice. Mostly, when they are that young, just give them comebacks. Somthing that would put the bully in his own place. I don't think calling his parents or his teacher would be a good idea if the student is already in junior high, because it makes the Bully mad, more than sorry.
If it gets real bad, put the kid in Karate, not only for self defense but so the "bully" or even "bullies" know not to mess with him.
Good luck.

Answer 4

I would set up a meeting with the teacher first and work your way up the ranks depending on if the teacher does anything and how well it worked. Counsilor, principal, then if that did'nt work the principlal should call in the bullies family and you and your son. If that still didn't work then I'de talk to the board of education.I'de harrass people until it gets stopped.

Answer 5

If you are a shaparone or a parent, it is the adult thing to do to confront the bully and his/her parents. You gotta stop that sort of stuff. Besides, what if it was your child that was getting bullied. And also, would you want another adult to do the same if it was your kid that was in need?
Yes. Protect our youth.

Answer 6

At that age, teachers or counselors would only humiliate the kid more. Tell him to stand up for himself or avoid these bullies.

Answer 7

i definitely will talk to teacher or principal if necessary. it would be better if you and teachers and parents of bullyin kids had a talk at school.
just keep a good communication with kids.

if it doesn't work, i would think about changing school or even home school.

Answer 8

Yes, I would take it to the teacher, counselor, and the principal if need be. Parents should feel at ease when their children are at school.

Answer 9

actually i would talk to the teachers, the principal and the parents of the ppl who is bulling my kid... if they don't care well i'd change the school.

Answer 10

talk to the school's principal