How do I get along better with my stepmom?

Question

My mother has been dead for almost four years. I'm turning 18 this wed and my stepmother and I have never really gotten along. We constantly fight over silly and stupid things, and she constantly finds small stuff to get me in trouble over. My dad has decided that he doesn't want to be a part of the situation and just wants us to deal with it, but that's stupid because this is his problem too, no matter how much he pretends it isn't. Recently she actually asked me if I hated her, and gave me a chance to give her one reason to prove I didn't, and I couldn't think of anything to say. She constantly makes my life miserable, and I'm afraid to even talk to her. She says I constantly take all of my anger out on her, but in reality, it's just me retaliating because that's what she does to me. I'm so sick of having to worry whether or not she's going to come up and pick a fight, and I just want her to realize that I have feelings, too. I need dad's help.

Answer 1

you need to bond with her why not offer to call a truce and invite her to got get pedicures & manicures - talk to her. ask her to come to you if she has a problem with something you did instead of running to your father - tell her you like you have to always be defensive around her because you feel like anything you say she will turn against you and cause a fight with your father.

Answer 2

Its not your responsibility to have a relationship with HER. She is the parental figure in the picture. It is her job. Not yours. You are the child. She seems real immature and selfish. i mean i dont know your situation but those are the facts. If you couldnt find a reason y u didnt hate her, then mabie inside you kinda do. Resent her, i mean. And thats okay. But what is absolutley NOT okay is what she asked you and how shes acting. Youre 18. You dont need her. She should be tryong to win you over. ad far as your dad, well, sorry to say, but hes a dic*head. When people get married for some reason the male always acts as though he doesnt care when it comes to him bringing a daughter-son in a new marriage.

Answer 3

Shape up your tunring 18 years old & have to learn how to resolve your probelms like an adult & not a 15 year old. I think Dad did the right thing by stepping out of this because you two are fighting for position of him and nots right for any of you to try to make him choose sides. This woman your Dad is married too is not trying to replace your mother; (God bless her soul) she is just trying to provide happiness to your father just like any woman would for her man. I think it might work to find out what your "stepmother" likes to do and take her out & talk about this in a public setting, so the two of you are less likely to explode on each other and talk about why the two of you are having diffulculty getting along & find a resolution to this madness. Life is too short for "minor issues."

Answer 4

I'm not even going to say the word that describes your dad!!! If he were any kind of father, you wouldn't be in this situation. The only thing I can tell you is what NOT to do. You see ... my mother was abusive - I hated her and was terrified of her. One day she asked me if this was the case and I pretended it wasn't to keep from getting yet another beating. It took me over 20 years to overcome all of the anger bottled up inside me. If I'd had a lick of sense, I would've told her exactly what I thought of her and taken the beating - pretending otherwise wasn't worth what it did to my self-esteem to not stand up to her.

Answer 5

you may never be in a position to have an intensive courting which includes her in case you sense that she replaced into the catalyst on your mothers and fathers' divorce. You realize that your Dad is actual at fault, yet you're prepared to allow your heart to stay chilly to her and heat to him.. have you ever seen counselling? now and again all of us understand, logically, that what our thoughts are misdirected, or that we do not prefer to act or sense the way we do, yet there is a few thing deep in our psyche that needs to be addressed in the previous shall we make the replace. As you're saying, it really isn't any longer recent, so all the better reason to take action. you've lost 13 years of a wholesome courting with this woman already. reliable success!

Answer 6

Can you see a counselor? It's hard enough being in a stepmom-stepdaughter situation, but you are probably also dealing with the tragedy of having lost your mother. I recommend that you see a counselor, individually to deal with your loss of your mother, and perhaps together to work out how you two will get along.

Answer 7

Trying to talk to an adult and tell them how you feel is good if there willing to listen Most of the time she is looking at you and she has been threw some of the same things your going threw also so trying to tell her you feel this or you feel that will only work if she is willing to listen to you. But in turn you need to listen to her also this is not a one way street. You 2 need too sit down with your Dad and try to resolve this. It`s your Dads wife and your his daughter so he is caught in the middle but he can`t wimp out either. He should be ther e for you and her. Trying to stay out of it is going to cause hard feelings on both sides. He needs to step up and be a husband and a father and do the right thing here!! Go to both of them and tell them you need to talk and sit them down! But be prepared to hear things you don`t want to hear. Try to listen to them 1st without interrupting them and ask them to do the same . Hear them out ! But tell them that your old enough now that you want the same respect that they would want themselves. Treat people like you want to be treated!!!!

Answer 8

I think you've said it all right here. They both need to read this and the answers that follow. It seem like you really want to get along with your step-mom. I know it must be difficult for both you. maybe the two of you could spend some quality time together getting to know each other??

Answer 9

I think you sould listen to what she has to say and always be nice and calm to her. She may also be getting nicer to you. I think the nicer you are to her the nicer she wil be to you and you guys will get along perfect and soon you wont fight over little silly things NOTE: this may help you and you step mom... rent/buy the movie called Step Mom and watch it together and you two will enjoy it. I hope you two get along

Answer 10

I used to fight all the time with my stepmom, until I realized it was much easier to try and talk to her and think of her as my mom. You just need more time to get along. It took me fourteen years to get along with mine. so just hang in there. Also try talking to your dad alone. Good luck.