What's the Best Employee Excuse You've Ever Heard?

Answer 1

This is absolutely true .. I worked in Kentucky for a couple of years. While in one of the offices, our receptionist called in and said that she had to take the day off. When asked why, she replied,

"They just delivered our new house, and I can't get out because it's blocking the driveway."


(I'm hearing Jeff Foxworthy .. "You might be ...")

Answer 2

This person always had an excuse for everything. She even told me her mother died and that was why she was off and didn't call in. Her face was red when she forgot and tried to use that excuse again about six months later! I said, "Oh, she died a few months ago, how many moms do you have?"

Her next remark was that the job was getting to her and she had better quit. That was the end of her.

Answer 3

I had one employee call to say she was locked out of her house, waiting on keys, and would be in late. We never heard from her again that day. Her excuse was, while waiting until she could reach someone with a key, she fell asleep on a chaise in the yard and slept all day.

Answer 4

I'll tell you this joke I heard, I hope it makes you laugh all the same.
~~~~

A man named Jenkins is in his office when his blonde secretary walks in...only to find him hanging by his feet on the ceiling! Startled by this, she asks, "Why are you hanging by your feet from the ceiling, Mister Jenkins?"

He replies, "I'm pretending I'm a lightbulb. I'm hoping the boss will come in and give me a few days off if he thinks I'm going a bit crazy."

Sure enough, the boss walks in and looks up at Jenkins and says, "Jenkins! What are you doing up on the ceiling?!"

The man sullenly replies. "It's ok, boss, you don't have to pay attention to me...I'm just a light bulb."

"Well, Jenkins," says his boss with a frown, "I think the stress is getting to you. Why don't you take a few days off."

Jenkins climbs down, packs up a few boxes, and leaves. His blonde secretary does the same as him and on the way out the boss looks at her, surprised and says:

"Now wait a minute, where do you think -you're- going?!"

She gives him a pitying look, gestures at the ceiling and responds, "Duh! I can't work in the dark!"
~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed!

Answer 5

This was actually written in the off-day request folder by an employee: "Little grills birthday."

Answer 6

Years ago two different people on two different occassions, who had been there around four months each arrived hours late with the excuse "I got lost."

Answer 7

As a reason for being late from lunch and quiting: "My boyfriend asked me to marry him; we went to City Hall to get a license, and by the way, he's old-fashioned and doesn't want his wife working so I quit."

Answer 8

Heard somewhere - Boss telling employee ," Next time your grandmother dies,I want to see the body ."
Another one - my step grandfather who was married to my step grand mother, died last night.

Answer 9

Well...I wanted to come into work today but my husband said I was just "too sick"...so I better stay at home. I cannot believe that "someone" makes us your excuses...loser!!!!

Answer 10

we had a girl who said she had SARS and monkey pox though not at the same time. another time her mom called to tell her that her and her dad were fighting and might get a divorce so she ran home to help. girl just did'nt want to work

Answer 11

a guy i worked with would go home for lunch and always have an excuse why couldn't return, my favorite was when he said he had diarrhea.