What would happen to a girl that was abused by her parents for a few years and . . .?

Question

There is a girl that I know. She is abused by her mother. Not her father though. He loves his wife and ownt leave her. He often listens to what she says and does what he is told. Except the abuse. This girl is was almost killed before her birthday. She was beaten on Mothers day . . . Yet she loves her mother with alll her heart. She beileve that her mother doesnt love her because she is bad. She thinks she deserves what happens to her. She thinks it all her fault. Im afraid for her.... And I think I should tell the cops. I know she will hate me for it. SHe loves her mom but I dont think its fair whats happening.

My question is how bad do you think the charges will be against her mother?

p.s.
Also, it isnt me, so please dont say it is. Thank you.

Answer 1

It doesn't matter how bad the charges are against the mother! You need to tell the police what is happening to save this girl's life and so the girl isn't injured more! The reason this girl thinks that she is "bad" and that she "deserves" what is going on, is that , that is typically what children who are abused by their parents think and feel. Your friend will need counseling to get over these feelings. The best thing for the mother is that she is stopped by the police and the courts from abusing your friend. Then she can get some professional help for herself so that she doesn't do these things again. I know this may be hard for you to do. Maybe you can get some help from your parents. If I was your father, and if you aren't an adult, I would call the police for you. In any case, the police have to be notified!
God Bless you and help you to do these difficult but necessary things.

Answer 2

The problem isn't that abuse is okay. The problem is there really is no remedy for child abuse within the current court system. When the police are called, they may or may not take a report. CPS (Child Protective Services) will be called to investigate and the child may or may not be removed from the home. She may or may not be placed in a group home, foster home or with a relative of one of her parents. Keep in mind, that NONE of these alternative solutions ensures that she will be any safer than in her current environment. Further, if she is not taken away, her family may not permit you to have contact with her anymore. She may even decide not to be your friend anymore because she will feel betrayed. I'm not suggesting it's "wrong" to call the police, but merely pointing out that does not always make the situation better, especially if she has asked you not to do that.

I was an abused child and now I am a child abuse advocate. The best thing anyone could have done for me back then was to be my friend. I only had people around me blaming me, revictimizing me or negating my experiences. It sounds like your friend has a good friend in you. Be the friend she needs you to be, not the one you think she needs.

Answer 3

No one deserves to be beaten,
I came from A family where my father was beating me when ever he could. In17yrs he broke 5 bones in my body. I joined the Army to get away. I could not get help because back then it was not child abuse. Tell a adult about the abuse your friend is going through, You maybe saving her life. If you are a wittiness then you report it to the police, I which when i was being beaten I had a friend like you//

Answer 4

ask her why she thinks it is her fault and talk her through it, if she can't think of why it is her fault then tell her she's not doing anything wrong, if sher can explain why those reasons are silly and there's nothing wrong with her, but there is something wrong with her mother. tell her no one has to live through that and that she can live an abuse free life if she tells the cops and Social Welfare (that what we call it in New Zealand) if she does do bad things like sneak out to see her friends or what ever, tell her to stop, if her mother finds silly things like, not doing the dishes or washing a problem then there is something mentaly wrong with her mother, and her mother needs the help. I think the only way to get through to either parent is to write a letter, one that has her heart spelt out on it, that will make her mother think twice.

Answer 5

first off your friend in a way has been held hostage emotionally by her dysfunctional relationship with her mother

secondly she wont heal emotionally while she is still being abused so she will need to be out of that situation before pulling the pieces back together

thirdly - to tell or not to tell. I appreciate your loyalty to your friends apparent wishes - however what if next time her mother chooses to abuse her she ends up murdering your friend? it sounds like she has already totally undermined the father's ability to defend his own daughter (which can be seen as passive abuse in its own right actually)

please do report it as abuse - that is the first step in helping your friend break the mindset she is trapped in

and longer term she will thank you for it even if her wounded mindset wont be able to initially

please let me know how you get on OK?

Answer 6

this is a SERIOUS case
and i honestly am ANGERED that u didnt call the cops already!!
you don't know the pain the kid is going through right now...
just recently, a little pretty girl got killed by her stepfather who has been abusing the poor girl for years already. and you know what?? a LOT of people knew about it too, and they did NOTHING to help her. social workers also knew, but their attempts were weak!!

i know, you might feel bad for seperating the girl from her mother, but you have to think of whats best for the girl - think of her future and the problems she'll have - with work, relationships, and most importantly, herself! i mean from a young age, this girl thinks its her fault her mother is hitting her!! HELL NO, a kid should not think that!! and you know what, let the kid hate you for callin the cops. she'll appreciate it later..

but pleaseee.. dont stand around waiting for her death!! you know yourself you'd feel very guilty about it if anything severe happens to her.

call the cops. now!!

Answer 7

I understand your situation.
I know you probably feel like "I can't call the cops, she'll get go pissed at me." You may just save her because of this. The worst she can do is be mad at you. This mother obviously needs help, so I think you should call. I know you don't want to... but it's the best for her.

Answer 8

Well, In this kind of situation, Inform a counsler or someone with the authority to control that situation. IF it gets worse (I.E Bruises, Cuts, Burns, Etc.) then inform the police. But try not to get yourself involved, but overall, id say inform the police.

Answer 9

A lot of it depends on how old she is...I asked a question like this about my friend, feel free to look at it. I would say contact Child Protection Services.

Answer 10

You Really should tell the police..you just might save your friend's life....about her mother...she deserves alot worse than she'll get..please call...