I am abusive, what can I do about it?!?

Question

Whenever I get mad at my ex he says mean things to me...like he will call me stupid or something..and then I just start punching him in the face...

I don't want to be like this..it's no different than a man hitting a woman...

Some background..my dad used to beat my mom and me when I was younger..and here I am doing the SAME thing...
How can I break the cycle..I know many will say anger management classes..but I am a poor college student and I can't afford to go see anyone about this problem..I am so angry at myself for this..I don't want to be like this...it doesn't solve anything...

I am an abuser...I need help..or someone to talk to...Sorry if this topic is jumping around a little bit..my head is just in a maze and daze...

thanks for any input..and if you are going to say mean and negative things...please don't even comment..that isn't what I came here for..

Thanks in advance!

Thanks to everyone for your advice..it really means a lot to me....

Yeah he is verbally abusive and I just can't bring myself to say mean things to him so instead I just punch him...
And as for breaking up with him..Im not even sure if we are still going out..he won't answer my phone calls...so we'll see how that goes...

I just know that if it's happened in this relationship it will happen in any relationship cause I also his my ex once before and scratched him and made him bleed cause he was saying something mean...I should learn to walk away...

and not that this makes it any better..but I was mad at him and i told him NOT to come to my house..I told him I didn't want him over here like 10 times and he still came over...and silvereagle I know it's not right to hit people...Ithink I said that in my above description..and I know what it's like to be abused my dad did it to me..that is why it's hard for me to understand why I'm doing it...well I know that is part of the reason I am doing it..I dont know..anyway..thanks guys! I think I will go talk to the school counselor on Tueday!

Answer 1

The next time he says mean stuff, if you can't beat him with words, turn around and walk away. Count to ten while taking deep breaths. Invest in a punching bag or dummy and some gloves. Go for a run.

Answer 2

First of all, your ex obviously knows how to push your buttons. Try to recognize that. When he says something mean to you, recognize he's trying to make you look like a fool. Understand? Second, they DO have anger management courses. If you are really serious about breaking the cycle, and getting yourself under control, there is help for you. Here is a number. It may be long distance for you (I live in Florida), but I will bet they can give you the number you need for your area: Behavioral Change Institute [phone]. You are very brave, and a good person. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

your ex knows how to wind u up so for a start get rid of him even get a court order to keep him away or something like that my ex wife knew how to do the same and then i turned out to be the mongrel i had the same background i was my fathers dog to kick when he needed one i am now on anti depressants but i have a family history of suicide a brother and sister it wont be easy but u need to hold your temper go for walks go to the gym kick the punching bag possibly find a group in your college area who may have similar problems i still fly off the handle occasionally but i dont lash out like i use to best of luck sweetie and maybe a nice man boy or even girl in your life will help pressure of college wouldnt help either

Answer 4

u can get help for free google what your looking for they have support groups as well for free if your coming from a home that was abusive why would you continue the cycle you better stop because a man is only going to take so much from you and your strenght isnt stronger than a mans or he may one day call the cops on you and your *** may be in jail without bail so go get help

Answer 5

First of all I came from a very abusive marriage where I was physcially and mentally abused by my ex husband. How dare anyone punch or beat on any other human being who dont deserve it!!!!

YOU need serious counseling!!!! If you loved this man you would of never laid a hand on him


GO GET COUNSELING

Answer 6

look i know your really a good person and i was gonna say talk to your freinds about but then i got to thinking what if you don't have any freinds about and please don't take this the wrong way cause i'm not trying to be mean i think you should find someone like a teacher or something that you can connect with and talk to and tell him/her wat ur prob. is ok

p.s i have really bad temper to so i can relate to your problem
and if you need someone to talk to you can contact me at [e-mail] and ki really didn't mean to hurt anybodys feeling when i made this address!!

Answer 7

my dad was the same with my mum. i told my gf dont hit me again cause i dont want to be like him ill be better.forturnatly its all been good...id probably damage her if i hit her. i think everyone is shitty in their own ways but you know your wrong so no one needs to shout at you. your lashing out. try to stay in control. breathe easy and rise above it. control your temper dont let it control you. just keep this in your head. you are NOT your dad. YOUR better then him.

Answer 8

Your going to have to learn to stop talking or fussing and walk away.
It's hard to do but within time it gets easier. Right when you two start fussing and you can tell it's getting heated just walk outside.
Sit there along and calm yourself.
Tell him ahead of time that if you walk out the door to leave you along. That you need space.

☺

Answer 9

First, don't blame your parents for what you do, that's a cop-out. your the one raising your hands and you need to answer for it, no one else. Get some help before someone starts hitting back and you get hurt. What then ???There are free clinics that provide free help, look for one

Answer 10

well i would go to anger management or some sort of therapy, then dump your boyfriend for being VERBALLY abusive...good luck, it's nice to see you realize the problem and are working on changing. GOOD LUCK TO YA!