Friends. The word rings in my head,
Echoes like a bell toll
Us being separated haunts my dreams at night.
Friends share life, happiness, laughs.
But when we are apart, all we share are memories.
So insignificant compared to the now.
Memories, Friends.
The words echo with meaning,
As we sit looking through yearbooks, with tissues all around.
Oh, if it could stay like this forever.
Friends, good times, so simple,
Our lives all joined happily as one.
But we must move on, separate the rope that is all our lives.
We are different, now more then ever.
And now what joined us separates us.
Friends are always friends they all say.
But we must stop pretending it will be the same.
We will still be friends, hopefully sharing more then memories and tears and signatures in yearbooks.
2006-06-18 12:13:47 · 15 answers · asked by ~S~ is for Stephanie! 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
It is extremely brave of you to post your poem online.
Reading it reminds me of my friends back in high school.
I think it is the type of poem that would be most appreciated and cherished by you and your friends and not the type that would mean as much to strangers.
Best of luck with your writing.
2006-06-19 19:54:36 · answer #1 · answered by sp_isme 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Uhm, well it was an attempt,an attempt that kinda fail, and didn't move me all too much.=/ Uhm, i'd suggest more describing words. Uhm.. be a mystery don't exactly give away what you are talking about. Lets see, make people discuss what it could possibly be about. A lot of times... most of the time... the best poems are the ones that make you think, noone but the poet can describe, or the ones that you can come up with your explanation and can relate to it etc. I hope I helped you out a bit on how to get better. =)
2006-06-18 19:34:43 · answer #2 · answered by StarBright 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kindly ignore that , ahem, "gentleman",back there, who is of course , entitled to an opinion, but not entitled to try to make you feel like c**p, which is what he's clearly doing. How ridiculously mean-minded. I think it's great, and brave of you (especially considering you can cop stuff like that). The poem is "not bad", I think. I can feel the emotion in what you are trying to say, and there is poignancy there.But it is a little overstated, and a little more attention to rhythm would have been great. But overall, I havce read/heard a LOt worse. I didn't mind it. I think you are not without talent. Keep it up:)
2006-06-19 04:52:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a shitty, fifth grade poem. My god, what inspired you to let people read this?
Form a complete sentence and produce and idea instead of saying "Memories, friends." blah blah blah. My god, you must be in third grade.
2006-06-18 22:54:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!! This is a good poem. You get the reader to feel the emotions. Bravo.
2006-06-18 19:19:46 · answer #5 · answered by Shankaree 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What lexagirl17 said ;)
Good job.
Maybe you shouldn't repeat the same words?
2006-06-19 06:18:27 · answer #6 · answered by Unknown Darkness™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The form was mediocre, however I really enjoyed the concept of it.
2006-06-18 19:20:36 · answer #7 · answered by kissmymindagain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very nice and kind of sad. Good job!
2006-06-18 19:18:48 · answer #8 · answered by Stratobratster 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poems aren't my thing.
2006-06-18 19:16:52 · answer #9 · answered by Andrea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
..it's too direct - try some more metaphor.
2006-06-18 21:42:46 · answer #10 · answered by David P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋