okay, so tonite i had a talk with my parents. supposedly my best friend has been coming to my parents and asking them if i'm gay. i am bi, and i was going to tell her until she started "sneakily" mocking me with my sister a few weeks ago. the only reason (that i can tell) that she's all of a sudden making fun of me (besides that she thinks i'm a *****) is that i've gotten really close to her brother and further from her. seriously, her brother is amazing. i don't know where i'd be without him. so yea.
the thing is, when she talks to my parents, and probably when/if she talks to me, she's really nice about everything and says everything's okay. then she goes and spreads it around, makes fun of it, and tells everyone i'm like f*cking her brother.
my parents both want me to tell her, and i understand because they think she'll be all nice about it. sure, we've been friends forever, but she won't be nice about it. but...she'll hate me if i don't tell her too. any suggestions? thank you.
2006-06-18 11:58:50 · 16 answers · asked by answers, answers 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
like her brother's not bi/gay (i don't think...haha) but he's totally fine with it. i mean, we're better friends than ever. =D which makes up for his sister...
2006-06-18 12:11:16 · update #1
i'm not sure, but i don't think she has a crush on me. (and i'm sorry, i may have not explained properly: me & her are the same age, her brother is a little younger.) i do, however, agree that she's probably jealous, but she's not jumping to hang out with me all the time, or to stop talking about me. but who knows...?
2006-06-18 14:36:12 · update #2
when i decided to come out, i knew i'd lose friends. but i'm really sad that my best BEST friend would be the first to go.
2006-06-18 14:37:38 · update #3
If she is being deceitful behind your back then she is not a true friend. A true friend would be there for you and accept you for who you are and not make fun of you for your choice.
i would tell her but in a slightly confintational manner, show her that you are proud of who you are AND tell her that you know she is being deceitful behind your back and tell her that is she was a true friend she would not be doing that.
If she at first rejects you and then later on wants to be friends again, tell her that she has to earn your respect back
best of luck to you
2006-06-18 21:55:41 · answer #1 · answered by gwad_is_a_myth 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if she's really a friend she would treat ya' nicely even when you're not around. I think this chick is just bothered. Maybe she had a crush on ya' and thinks it's unfair that you don't like her back.
regardless, it will be a good learning experience to her to decide where she lies and her future will probably be boring. If she does it to you, then more than likely she will do it to someone else, until she has no friends left to do it too, then whine that she is lonely.
Nip it in the bud. Tell her how it is. Confront, accuse, berate, and make sure she understands that if she continues to treat you like this, you won't want anything else to do with her.
If you know she will be all pleasant and nice in the face to face confrontation, then you know she is manipulative. To put it in layman's terms, she's a double agent-taking what she can from both sides to make herself happy. Be prepared for back biting, even when you have done nothing wrong. Be prepared for bitchiness that might end in humilation. More than likely she is depressed about something and has a tendency to bring others down. Drop her sorry fairweatherfriend ***.
2006-06-18 19:09:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up Dude! She has a crush on you... Younger girls often develop crushes on thier friends. Especially one who seems to be a bit more sensitive and empathetic than most of the young male population. She also doesn't know for sure that you're bi - and probably developed feelings for you long before she even suspected.
You need to have a chat with her but not necessarily about your sexuality (that may not matter to her anyway - you're bi, she still has a chance). Also, try to include her a bit more in things with you and her brother. She's probably feeling a bit betrayed by you both. Good luck
2006-06-18 20:43:53 · answer #3 · answered by soulgirl76 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will always find people who will never understand why people are gay. She should take a good look at herself and ask why she has to disparage other people. Does it make her feel good? Does she have low self esteem that she has to tear down other people to make her feel good about herself. Do you want a friend like that. I wouldn't! Your decision to be "out" will cost you friends. But realize the friends that you had before you came out that remain your friends are true friends worth keeping around. Don't let it get you down. Just be happy that you know the true nature of this so-called friend.
Good Luck - and go out and make more friends.
2006-06-18 19:11:12 · answer #4 · answered by Daniel D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are caught up in a nasty situation that is going to get nastier before it gets better. I am sorry to say, but she is acting like a woman scorned...don't be so sure she didn't have sights set on you, and since she can't get you, she is going to make damned sure that everyone knows you are gay and that is the reason she didn't! NOT VERY NICE! And certainly grounds to drop her entirely from your friendship list. I would NOT consider anyone who betrayed confidences, who mocked me behind my back....to be a friend. Who needs enemies with friends like this.???
2006-06-18 21:51:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is not ok with it she is not your FRIEND. you need friends that like you and dont make fun of you. I have a bestfriend who is gay and i respect his decision. I love having a gay bestfriend because he is not competing with me for the same guy. But is her brother gay too? If he isnt he may be a little creeped out. If she is homophobic you may not want to be friends with her anymore.
2006-06-18 19:04:22 · answer #6 · answered by Valkyrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her, in front of your parents. they think it's such a great idea, let them provide the example of how a sane person reacts.
"see, Lucretia, I'm bi. I'm not limiting myself, and I could form emotional bonds with males or females, because they're human. This is a normal thing, see my parents know and understand. You should too."
better yet, do her brother, and let her catch the two of you in flagrante delicto!
2006-06-18 19:04:47 · answer #7 · answered by tkdeity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that if a girl talks $hit about you behind your back is a really good "friend" but truth be told, the truth needs to be told... tell her and If she's a ***** anout it, fcuk her, you're better friends with her brother anyway...and she wasn't a real friend in the first place...
2006-06-18 20:20:09 · answer #8 · answered by Chef Shortie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you're worried about her "hating" you. To go behind your back the way she has been is hateful, and very passive-aggressive. You need to tell her that if she has problems with your sexuality she should talk to you about them, otherwise keep them to herself.
2006-06-18 19:02:52 · answer #9 · answered by keri gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since she'll probably hate you one way or the other, just tell the b*tch and get it over with. i hope you'll have luck with her brother too. plus, why don't you tell your parents about your "friend"?
2006-06-18 22:43:33 · answer #10 · answered by gaygoddevil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋