I have been married to her for 15 years. When I woke up the morning of our "honeymoon" I thought to myself I can make this work for the kids. I have lasted this long but am to the point of feeling 80% of the time that I just don't like almost everything about her. I keep having this dream of being in that "movie" type of true love where I just want to be with this woman and love looking at her and being with her and talking to her. I long to love someone but do not want to screw up my teenage son. Our daughter is 21 and out of the house and she wonders how I stay with her mom the way she has been for the past couple of years. Well I think I'm rambling, so any comments will be read and appreciated, thanks.
2006-06-18 10:01:47 · 14 answers · asked by uffda_1971 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Newsflash, if your 21 year old is asking/wondering.
You know the answer. Plus you more than likely are
screwing up your son. Kids are NOT stupid, so why
put them in the middle of your marriage.
Tis time to 'tinkle' and get off the pot. Get help, as in
counciling, or get out.
2006-06-18 10:08:12 · answer #1 · answered by Doofus McGoofus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look dude, you married her right? You loved her when you married her and you took a vow. That, dude is a committment until you die. You don't go around marrying people and then divorcing especially when you have children involved. I have been married almost 30 years so I can tell you some things. Stay with your loving wife. You love her and she loves you. Why does everybody play around with marriage and not take it as a serious committment? Dude, grow up and be a man. You are responsible for your spouse and her health everything. If she had some kind of emotional problems a couple years ago why weren't you there for her for support? Get her to the doctor and find out the underlying problems.
Anyway, dude, take your marriage vows seriously and don't hurt your wife. Help her through her pain and agony. That's what us men are there for our wives. Man, help her out with whatever problems she has. Be a Man.
Stay with her and honor your vows.
Don't run away from your marriage. You will regret it later.
2006-06-25 08:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well an old saying is "It's time to fish, or cut bait" and if you are in an unfulfilling relationship, there is no need to carry on as you will make both of you miserable. If you say the kids have moved out and there is no chance of affecting them by your leaving, then maybe it is time. Another thought might be to go to counselling to see if there might be something to salvage, as there might just be. Caution: the Movie type of true love may not be available right now as you might not be able to be receptive to such a thing due to baggage you are carrying from your past. If you do go it alone, do so for a while and find out who you are again. Good Luck...
2006-06-18 10:09:15 · answer #3 · answered by Crowfeather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be very sad and upset... if i knew my mate.. was not happy honeymoon morning..and what is worse..after 15 yrs you are still miserable and have not fallen in love. your story reminds me of " gone with the wind.".the movie. it wasnt until the woman scarlet lost her husband.. that she realized she loved him all the time. she chased the fantasy of another man... and low and behold,, he was nothing. movie type love is just that. that is why after the movie is over... the stars who became involved usually separate or get divorced if they were dumb enough to get married. i also think discussing your wife with the daughter.. is low. but that is another story. your teen age son can handle it. get out of this asap./// so the two of you can attempt to salvage the rest of your lives. i hope you dont put on the blame on her... it hate when people dont take accountability or responsibility. this woman didnt mess this up all by herself. it started off bad.. you should have said no in the first place. your daughter is 21.. so she had to be atleast six when you married. so it is not like you did it.. to save a pregnant womans rep so do the right thing and part.
2006-06-18 10:13:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you don't want to screw up your son,but when two people are not meant to be,it's just not meant to be.don't force your self to be with her if you really feel you don't love her any more. sometimes it takes 15 years to find out how a person really is. Your daughter even understands what your going through, im sure your son will cope just fine.just make sure you don't leave your wife for another woman, or put her down in front of the son because than your son will really hate you, for that.Just let him know that you and his mom are not meant to be, he wont ever stop loving you if you keep it real with him , he will grow up to be a better man if you leave, because im sure he feels the all the tension in your house right now and that's not good for him, for his future. don't worry everything hap pends for a reason, God has plans for all of use.every one deserves to be happy especially someone like you , I'm sure you have worked so hard to please others and to keep the family happy.on the other hand before you make your finale decision really take a look at this situation, and ask your self can i see my wife with another man? will other women know me like she knows me?will i be more happier with out her?if you are willing to accept being with out her than do what you got to do.Just keep God near you heart and everything should work out just fine.
2006-06-18 10:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by disamari13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow !!! finally someone i can relate to, as i am in the same position,, every day it is a struggle just to stay,, my son is 16, and i am tormented by what would happen to him should i file for divorce, should i wait until he graduates high school has the damage already been done, young adults are more intuative than we give them credit for, ultimately they only want happiness for their parents just as their parents wish for their children, guess i am rambling on now sorry !!
2006-06-18 11:32:12 · answer #6 · answered by katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why marry someone if your not sure you love them? Sounds like your mistakes were made many years ago, and you are resentful for your lost youth. Grow up and let your self at least try to see the good in her and fall in love. YOU are getting in your own way, not her.take responsibility for your own thoughts and grow up . good luck.
2006-06-18 11:38:20 · answer #7 · answered by RM802001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married her. I assume that when you married her part of your vows said "till death do us part", right? Take that seriously. I suggest that you make attempts to love her and get to know her and fall in love with her again. This website has a lot of good ideas and advice on marriage and love. Please look into it; a broken-up family causes broken hearts. I know.
2006-06-18 10:08:43 · answer #8 · answered by beesabear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask yourself:
Am I better off with or without this person? and know that the grass is never greener on the other side
2006-06-18 11:34:23 · answer #9 · answered by deejo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I think your daughter has said it for you::: get a divorce now.
my brother and his wife married for 14yr and wife called it quits, they have 13yr old son and they share time for him.
he spends time with his mom and lives with dad.(my brother).
good luck---- get the divorce for your own peace of mind.
2006-06-18 10:07:37 · answer #10 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋