does any1 no any good blond jokes?

Question

i dont no just 2 make my friends laugh

Answer 1

These were sent to me in an email one time.


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A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

The blond replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."

The boss feeling very sorry for her says "Why don't you go home for the day. We aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."

"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows the blond to work as usual. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blond. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying.

"What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks.

"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that her mom died too!"

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Did you hear about the two blondes that froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They went to see "Closed for the Winter."

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Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?

She heard that 1 out of every 4 children born in the world was Chinese.

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A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?"sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"

"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

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Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.

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A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.

"Look, said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses."

"I know,"agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames.

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A blonde was shopping at a Target store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos. It keeps things hot and some things cold."

"Wow!", said the blonde, "That's amazing, I'm going to buy it!"

So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk.

"What's that," he asked?

"Why, that's a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.

Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"

The blond replied. "Two popsicles, and some coffee."
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I also did a search for blonde jokes. Here is the link to my search results. http://search.yahoo.com/search?search=blonde+jokes&ei=UTF-8&fr=ks-ques&p=blonde+jokes

Answer 2

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.

Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black holes.

Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.

Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.

Q: How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

Answer 3

there is so many.. (se below sites)
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Toasted Blonde
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One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.

The doctor askes her what had happened.

She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone.

"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other."

"The bastard called again"



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how do u kill a blonde...... put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool
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$100,000 tree

there was a blond driving down a road and spotted at the sign that is on a tree next to a mantion that said $100,000. she called the number and said "i want this item and i will send the money as soon as i get home. three weeks later she got a packege in the mail that had keys so she caled the guy and asked "what are the keys for" the guy said " they are for the mantion. the blond said "Wow, i thought that i was buying the tree.

AND FOR EXTRA 257 (and more) BLOND JOKES go to sites:

http://www.laughaboutit.com/pickjokes.php?cat=Blonde+Jokes&row=0

Answer 4

A man walks into a bar and says "Hey wanna hear a good blonde joke?" The bartender says "You have a blonde wrestler sitting on your right, a blonde firefighter on your left, and I am blonde with a black belt. Are you sure you want to tell it?" The man says "No way, not if I have to explain it 3 times."

Answer 5

What is the definition of Eternity?

4 blondes at a 4-way stop.

What is the first thing a blonde does when she gets out of bed?

Goes home.

Answer 6

A blond and a burnette were walking through a forest, the burnette looks to the ground and says "look it is a dead bird how sad" and the blond looks in the sky and says " were."

Answer 7

i just thought of a really good one, but forgot. here is an old one, a blonde a redhead and a brunette are in 8th grade who has the biggest boobs?, the blond cause she's 18.

Answer 8

a blond policewoman stops a blond driver
blond police officer: can u show me your driving license?
the blond driver is searching her bag
blond police officer: its shaped like square n has a pic of u
the blond driver finds a mirror n give to the officer
the blond officer: oh sorry miss i didnt know u are n officer too....

:)

Answer 9

Why did the blond have square boobs?




She forgot to take the tissues out of the box first!

Answer 10

I married a blonde once. After a night on the town we went back to my place, and when I asked her if she practiced safe sex she got all excited and started to duck tape pillows to the head board.

Answer 11

Two blonds were talking about what they were doing while there was an earthquake. the first said: I was stuck in an elevator for two hours. The other said: that's nothing. I was stuck on an escalator for two hours.