I hate myself?

Question

I was once a pedophile, for a couple years when I was young. Since I've completely changed my ways, I even work with kids now (and no I don't molest them!), although I haven't turned myself in, because if I did I could never make up for the horrible things I did.

If you hate me, you should, because I've done terrible things, but know that I hate myself too, and that I've been to Hell and back and have never truly been happy since.

Do I deserve a second chance? I am so sorry for what I've done to these kids; although I haven't turned myself in, I do help other kids and I meditate to try to heal the kids I've hurt.

Any feedback would be appreciated, and the nickname Pedo Bastard is there because I still feel like a bastard :(

You're right. I won't work with them directly.

I feel so awful :( I really want to be a good person again.

I'm thinking of quitting working with kids, although I've never had the urge to molest them. I want to become a cop.

Answer 1

HE has 4 other postings with this same question don't give him the attention he desires.
HEY BASTARD TURN YOURSELF IN! YOUR SICK
I now fear that my child is somewhere and I don't know their is a molester lurking, or working as you say....
I'M SCARED and everyone else should be too!

Answer 2

I have no idea the feelings a person has to be a pedophile. I do know how it feels to be a sexual human being. I could not stop those feeling even if I tried so I think being around children is asking for trouble. Being a policeman sometimes put you in contact with children, you can't tell your supervisor not to send you on a certain assignment. I think you should work really hard to forgive yourself, stay away from children, and maybe go into a line of work like computer tech. or a hospital lab. etc. And everybodys right you need counseling.

Answer 3

I cant believe some of the people that have 'forgiven' this sick ba$tard!!
Would you all be saying the same bull$hit if he done something to one of you, or your child?!
I take it that most of the people that congratulate this kind of person for wanting to turn over a new leaf or the ones that want to give these sort of people a second chance, have never had to see how people like this destroy lives of 100's of innocent children all the time, you havent had to listen to a child describe what a sick ba$tard like this has done to them. Apart from take the innocence from the child, they destroy the trust & the confidence of the child they have abused, along with a lot of other things.
At the moment , here in the UK, a lot of the sexual abuse cases are being committed by perverts that have been convicted of the same kind of offence before... only our judges must be as pathetic as some of you answering these questions, you are all giving perverts another chance to strike again-WHY?!
Maybe the only way any of you will see the light is if it is unfortunate enough to happen to you or to someone you love, I hope it doesnt,
Personally i think all perverts like this should be donated to science and tested on.

Answer 4

It would be good that you do some spiritual enquiry. Our real self is different from the present body, mind and intelligence we have now. When you understand your higher nature the second step to find out what is the happiness for the higher self - the soul. Certainly not material things because matter cannot give satisfaction to the soul. If you would find constant happiness in material enjoyment you would still be a paedophile. But things are changing. There is no any type of material enjoyment that gives constant increasing happinesss. This is however, is possible when one finds out what is the happines of the soul. Understanding your higher nature and experiencing higher happiness you will get higher taste for spiritual life; you will never again desire to be paedophilic nor you will hate yourself - your spiritual self which according to the Vedas is full of good qualities. Yes. The selfrealised, spiritually elevated person is full of all good qualities. So, good luck, if you decide to do some spiritual enquiry. Hare Krishna.

Answer 5

It's not your fault you really do have a problem and should get professional help. Some that have received help have worked others can't be helped and then they still hurt the children. Do you want to not know which kind are you get help please.These babies are innocent they deserve not to be preyed upon how would you feel if you were violated. Because if something was to happen to my niece and let's say you were responsible I would torture you first then turn you into the police.

Answer 6

Seek counseling. The self-hatred that I read in your statement is hazardous to your mental health. I recommend a faith-based counseling service, both for the core values of that faith and for the comfort faith can help you find. You are already in your second chance. Don't blow it - and it does not matter whether you deserve it or not. Since you have it, take it and be a better person for it.

Answer 7

I'm so proud of you.Our worst sins can become our greatest testimony if we bring it out into the light. You are saved by "the blood of the lamb and the word of your testimony." What the devil meant for evil can be used in the service of good. When we turn from our sins God's word calls us to turn and help our brothers who are still in sin to find there way out. Not many people are able to understand but you can understand the shame and grief that goes with this illness.
It is easy to talk about what others do brother but it takes great courage to step up and tell our own story or testimony. Many men and women can be helped by your admission. God bless you and help you to find the way out and lead others.

Answer 8

if you don't work with kids, then you can deserve a second chance. Find another job, hobbies and stop thinking about this. I'm sure some day you will gain

Answer 9

Eveyone deserves a second chance. BUT you need to set yourself up to be successful on your second chance and YOU ARE NOT!!! Get away from those kids.
How long do you expect to control yourself around kids? GET AWAY

Answer 10

I dont particularly believe this post to be authentic. Once they did a backround check on u and a child abuse check and a mental eval, they would not have hired you. I will only give VALID answers to VALID questions!!!