My father grew up in the 1940's and 50's, and he used to always say these funny, kind of insulting things

Question

. . . that just made me fall over laughing when I was a kid. I think there were a lot of them, but these are the only ones I remember. Can you tell me if there are any more you recall from back then?

"You couldn't hit a bull's butt with a bass fiddle."
"You don't know sh*t from wild honey."

Answer 1

Daddy used to tell us we couldn't hit the red side of a barn...or we couldn't hit water if we fell out of a boat. When we'd say, "I want...", he'd reply, "Want in one hand and sh*t in the other. See which one fills up first."

Answer 2

You don't know **** from "Shinola". (Shinola is a shoe polish).

You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.

If you eat watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach.

Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

Horsefeathers !

Busier than a one armed wallpaper hanger.

If it was a snake it would have bitten you!

Smash another finger harder and that one wont hurt as bad

Answer 3

sounds like my grandfather....he had a lot of random ones like that, but i cant think of any at the moment... but some more direct ones.....

like if he was commenting on and old building:
"oh yeah... that building has been there since christ had the mumps"

ifsomeone has big teeth, or teeth that stick out:
"well, that guy's rigged to peel an orange"

lol. he always used to say stuff like that.

Answer 4

I've never heard of either of those. Each generation has their own sayings. Those two are really no different than some adages used today.

Answer 5

She had a face like a blind cobbler's thumb.

Answer 6

i took a lousy crap on a camel's back