I married my high school sweetheart 10 years ago. We are happily married with two children. About 5 years ago I met someone that I just can't explain my relationship with him. I catch myself thinking about him a lot. I can't wait to see him again. He's so easy to talk to and makes me happy even when I'm down. He's married too. My husband knows about him but doesn't personally know him. There's a strong physical attraction that has lead to a few sexual encounters that my husband and his wife know nothing about. In fact, his wife doesn't know I exist. My husband and I have a very close relationship, we are best friends. I have no secrets, except this one. My question is do you think it's possible to have a completely happy marriage and still have an interest like this outside the marriage?
Just another curve ball, my husband is so open and secure about our relationship, I could probably tell him I have these feelings and he wouldn't feel threatened, but I'm scared to.
2006-06-18 08:29:56 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Girl, we need to talk. Email me or im me. We have lots in common. if you are on yahoo messenger.. screen name is goldengurl412003.
2006-06-18 08:38:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
1
2016-12-20 15:11:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to stop the whole situation. Even though you are married it doesn't mean you won't still find other people attractive. You just don't ACT ON IT ANYMORE. You have taken it past just an attraction and have acted on your feelings, without taking your husbands or the man's wife into consideration. How would you feel if your husband did that to you? You wouldn't like it so much now would you? I really think you need to end the relationship with the other man, and have no further contact with him. And then after ending the relationship you need to tell your husband. If your marriage is so great, then why ruin it?
2006-06-18 08:36:04 · answer #3 · answered by kaije03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to stop and think about what you are doing. Is a physical attraction worth losing your marriage over? The other man is never going to love you the way your husband loves you!! If you lose your husband over this you are never going to find someone like him ever again. And, If you do stop now, things still won't be the same with your husband. You will feel a guilt. And, you will probably end up in divorce anyways because you will not be able to live with yourself. You have seriously screwed up!
2006-06-18 11:30:53 · answer #4 · answered by mamasita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can have a happy marriage, and still have feeling like that. We are all human, and it happens to just meet someone.
However, in my opinion you are setting yourself up for lot of pain. If your husband learns about your relationship and your lover (yes, you have a lover... ), he will be hurt. Even if he isn't jealous, the betrayal goes deeper than just sex, you have a relationship here, and you share with this new man lots of intimate thoughts and feelings. He may be so hurt that he may have to leave you - and that will be painful.
Also, your lover may decide to leave you, under pressure from his wife, or for any other reason. That too, will be painful.
In all cases, one of your relationships will get terminated against your will, if you don't take a decision yourself, and it will be extremely painful, for you, for your family, for your children. It is a little bit to late to avoid it, but you can still take steps to decide what you really want to do.
Until you know what you want, don't breathe a word... your doubts, your worry, your fears are the price you pay for the thrill of the situation: don't put it on anybody else. It is your burden to carry.
2006-06-18 09:18:32 · answer #5 · answered by OneLilithHidesAnother 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're really playing with fire. Any secrets that you keep from your husband are possible wedges to move you further and further apart. You say you're happily married with children... I say if you want to keep it that way you should 'fess up to your husband, cut the strings with this other guy, or both.
And what about the other guy's wife? Could he tell her all about you, and would she understand? Somehow I doubt it. You've got the recipe for ruining two marriages and at least six people's lives.
I wish you all the best in deciding what to do and living with the consequences. Either way, I don't think it's going to be easy.
2006-06-18 08:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by Muddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only person who can truly answer that question is you.
Are you honestly in a "completely happy marriage?"
If you seriously think you are not risking your marriage by this affair you are sadly mistaken.
Before you decide whether or not to confide in your husband please do some serious soul searching.
Perhaps your husband is open and secure because he loves and trusts you completely.
Will he still feel the same way if you tell him about your lover?
Please consider these questions before making any decisions.
My thoughts are with you.
2006-06-18 08:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by Kathy G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your marriage is over. File for divorce and keep tramping around because whether you like to admit it, that is exactly what you're doing. And you are NOT your husband's best friend. If cheating and being dishonest are your ideas of a best friendship, then I am glad that I do not know you. You've soured your reputation and have very little to offer anyone anymore. You need to make some self-adjustments to reconstruct yourself into a reputable individual.
2006-06-18 08:39:50 · answer #8 · answered by boxerpitk9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell my husband everything too, and i never hide anything from him, but if i was you, and my feelings got too deep, i would stay away from the guy for awhile until i truely know what i want to do about it. Plus i wouldn't let myself fall for someone else, i would just keep him as a really good friend who is always there for me. I think you only have feelings for him because he is a guy, but what if it was a girl??? You wouldn't feel the same way about her.
2006-06-18 08:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by lola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can be happily married and have this type of thing going on I do. I was honest to my husband and he has meet the guy. He was hurt but we have worked though it. Both have to be willing. What would you do if it was him? It shouldn't matter if you tell but if you love him be honest and dont hide it.
2006-06-18 10:14:21 · answer #10 · answered by mcalano77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
iknow this is harsh but WOW. how could u be such a......IDIOT.ure selfish to. what would u do if ure husband had a interest in another women?u would probably leave the second u hear it. i just hope whn i get older and when i am married i'm not like u.
2006-06-18 08:37:57 · answer #11 · answered by iranian gurl and proud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋