do you like this one?

Question

it is another short one

My feelings burn with passion,
For you my dear.
When you are near,
My heart soars.

Don't ever leave me,
For I love you.
And if you do,
My heart will break.

Answer 1

It is wonderfully written, as others have said, if it was written for some one you cared about. But none the less it is very nice.

Answer 2

You could have made it even shorter and stopped after "My".

Maybe you should try rhymes that start with "Would you like to go large with that order, sir?", it's a phrase you'll be using a lot if you try to make it as a poet or songwriter.

Answer 3

i dont mean to be rude, but if you were going for rhyming -i dont think you were- it doesnt particularly work out. It seems like of bland. Maybe you could make it more colorfull with more description? Similies of how your heart soars? how it will break? metaphors are fun too...

Answer 4

Heartbreak is a lonely tool,
It simply makes one feel like a fool,
For those of us who drown in it,
Somehow it always seems to fit.
Pehaps the answer is just to be,
Any empty version of sympathy.
Friends are those forever to last,
Who dream of love future or past.
So sonnets of this kind you see,
Are all about you and me......

(itimpossible......you like?) ~p~

Answer 5

Lacks details

Answer 6

uhmpf

To easy
to descript
to breazy
where's the cryptic part?

This is a rhyme
not unlike mine
you want to write a poem?
You better do better it's supposed to be hard.

Dive into the ocean that is your true self.
Find floating words you dare not write,
Seek out your love,
seek out your words.
Don't just take what everybody knows.

Make a name for yourself, discover me.

Answer 7

I think is very good if you write it may be you can become a poem writer or something

Answer 8

Very nice. I hope you wrote it for someone you really do care about.

Answer 9

Thank you...yeah its very cool not just the content but how you will say it....

Answer 10

i like it but it does make you sound needy