Warning to Women! by: Clint
a Man does not spit game if his intention is to get to know you.
Just like Slander he decieves you with words as smooth as if oil.
a Man who cares to know of you, takes care in every word he speaks.
A Man who wants to be with you for you, Shows restraint in the things he says.
Beware though Some Men are Masters of deception.
take each minute with this Man with care. for the decsion you make will end up in heartbreak or Love that is uncomparible.
Watch closely for this deception, Guard your heart like a female Lion guards her cubs. Or a Man will come along aand snatch your heart and crush it.
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2006-06-18 07:08:57 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
it is OK
cheers
2006-06-18 07:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This poem is cynical and so stupid! Slander is never deceiving nor smooth. That line doesn't work. The poem is also dogmatic in nature and the author is presumptuous in speaking for the intentions and nature of Man and Men. The lioness guards her cubs out of instinct, she does not need to be counseled to do so, so there is no resemblance in your attempt to furnish an analogy as regards to the guarding of a woman's heart ... totally lame, you are hypothesizing, when one hypothesizes, one looks foolish assuming
2006-06-18 07:28:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like where you are going with this poem. You have some inconsistencies in your prose. At points you are direct and at others you make sublet remarks. I do not know if these are intentional.
You have some good use of similes and metaphors, however, you can re-write a second draft with deeper emotions that don't directly state what you are trying to say.
If you don't say what you are wanting to as directly, you can invoke the reader to look within themselves for the answer... make the reader think harder and your poem will be more effective...
2006-06-18 07:17:12 · answer #3 · answered by cute_valley_boys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a excellent poem yes some men are masters of
deception as are some women, it is good advice to teach a
woman to guard her heart as a female Lion guards her cubs
as there are many deceptive people out there. I like this line very
much. Good advice.
2006-06-18 07:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by Zinderella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the point behind it, but I'm afraid I just don't think it's a good poem. The grammar and spelling are pretty bad, the sentences seem contrived and the metaphors are just kind of silly. Some things just don't make sense to me. "Spit game?" I have no idea what that means.
I think it's great that you feel this way, but I'd keep working on the way you express it.
2006-06-18 07:15:06 · answer #5 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are trying to put your feelings into words which is a hard thing to do. It helps if you are writing about something you know best about, and try to say something profound, that nobody has heard before. Don't use simile and metaphor for the sake of it "because that's what poems use". Keep on writing.
2006-06-18 07:11:02 · answer #6 · answered by Mordent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice
2006-06-18 07:11:38 · answer #7 · answered by Eternity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok but it's a little confusing to read but I understand its meaning. Now that was confusing. It just doesn't hit the spot with me.
2006-06-18 07:15:40 · answer #8 · answered by lostinlove 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like some guy played you.
2006-06-18 07:11:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your poem was ok but being a boy i think that it is totally wrong!
2006-06-18 07:11:20 · answer #10 · answered by Tiny Tim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes very nice but keep working on it
2006-06-18 07:12:31 · answer #11 · answered by Winter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋