About 6 weeks ago my wife said she did not have feelings for me and more and has since said she wants a divorce. Since that time I have been following her and found out that she has been running around with a 27 year old male "friend" from work (she is 24). She has been going to movies, meeting on weekend nights for an "innocent" night out with friends. I caught them out a midnight on Friday night and ended up chasing them down and making threats to to man. I have a 4 year old daughter and don't want to do anything stupid. Every night she is out I cannot sleep, my stomach is in knots, and I don't eat. It is killing me and she just don't care. I just cannot seem to let go. I have left my home, and job in order to escape the pain. My wife was fine with me taking my daugher with (gives her more time to have fun). I am at my parent's house 400 miles away but remain totally consumed with what my wife is doing. We have been married 6 years. I find happiness in nothing. Any good advice?
2006-06-18 06:58:53 · 14 answers · asked by Scott B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have always been faithful, I have always provided, cleaned, and helped around the house. we have been together since teenagers and she is all I know. I feel so lost without her and would do anything to change her mind. My mind knows that it is over but my heart cannot let go. I feel like this is going to kill me. I feel no happiness whatsoever and look forward to nothing. This is the absolute worst pain I have felt. I have not gone a day without crying for 6 weeks, and the person I would lean on is the person causing the pain.
2006-06-18 07:02:54 · update #1
you really cant let go you have a child together emotionally its always going to be hard she was your first love my advice is try to find things to do with your time you and your daughter together and just remember what goes around comes around
2006-06-18 07:05:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DUMP HER! No but really that is a serious option you should really consider it doesn't look like she was commited to the relationship even before she told you she wanted a divorce, what i would do id make arraingemants, call a lawyer if you have money or go to the courthouse and start filing for child custody or visitation because unless your wife is a total crackhead beleive this she will take you for everyhting you got including your child, you have already been stripped of your rights as a husband don't let her do this to your relationship with your child besides you sound like a really good person and man keep your chin up!
2006-06-18 07:32:49 · answer #2 · answered by denisevans2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to let go. Sometimes when you love someone so much you have to let them go. I am so sorry that this happened to you though. And, she should be ashamed of herself for leaving the child like that. A good mother would not do that. Now, what you have to do is worry about you and your little girl. Spend as much time with her as possible. She is going through alot also. Think about it, you are a man! Be the man that you have always been, Pull yourself out of this. You and your daughter are worth more than that!! And, don't let yourself get depressed over this! Your daughter needs you right now. You got to step up, You have to be her mommy and her daddy now.
2006-06-18 11:48:22 · answer #3 · answered by mamasita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter needs you. She's too young to understand what's happening with the adults in her world. She's probably very scared, especially if she sees how upset you are.
What you're feeling is natural and will ease with time. It speaks well of you to care so much.
Your wife is behaving very immaturely and for now, it's better for you and your child to be out of contact with her. Each time you try to make contact you are giving her the power to hurt you even further. Take that power away from her.
Take Care of yourself and your daughter, the rest will follow.
2006-06-18 07:12:33 · answer #4 · answered by fcw372003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband went thru that with his first wife. He was always faithful and working hard to provide for the family while she was out cheating on him. She finally left him and he was devastated. Today he says he was never happier in his life. He got over her, started a new life and met me. Just let it go. Keep in mind that you are better than her and it is her loss. Take care of yourself and your kid.
2006-06-18 07:11:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say move on why want soembody that does not want you anuymore, move on there are more fish in the sea, and guess what its better this way, becuase yall were young when yall got married and maybe she just need time to sort through everything she is going thru, the best thing to do is move on and i think once she has seen you have done so this will make her want you even more, and when she knows ahe cant have you then thaat is when her pain will set in, but for now be stron and move on for your own sake, dont worry about her you can do better,
2006-06-18 07:06:10 · answer #6 · answered by prettygirl new orleans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was just like you but no kids. After he left me for a slut at work, i was devistated but I knew that I did nothing wrong and after 1 month of pity and crying I realized he did not deserve me. I am doing better than I have in my whole life, I am stronger, and I have more money. The longer you are away from her the better you will be. Just be a great Daddy and let God lead you!!!!!!
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-18 10:27:30 · answer #7 · answered by Stephanie J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have faith that all will work out as it is supposed to. Be strong for you and your daughter. If your wife is cheating and has told you she wants out well she wants out. It will be hard to adjust but you have to get out for you and your daughter. All we do comes back around to us. It sounds to me as if you have been a good father and husband and God will reward you with someone who will treat you with all the love and respect you deserve. Once you are away from the situation and you start to heal you will begin to see all the beauty this world has to offer, and life will turn around. Just as you have done good things, she has not and she will have the horrible things she has done come back to her. I hope this helps and good luck with all you are going through.
2006-06-18 07:08:30 · answer #8 · answered by damonsbaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember, it is her loss. It is sad but there are a lot of people like that. You need to worry about you and your daughter and try to move on. If you find it impossible to do so, you should get some help. Talk to a psychiatrist or to some kind of health professional. Good luck.
2006-06-18 07:03:38 · answer #9 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard as it is move on. You have a child to watch out for, make that your first priority, You do not believe it now, but it does get better, will take 6-12 months to start feeling better. Believe me she will be hurting more than you very soon.
2006-06-18 07:03:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋