Is it better to stay married,and be miserable ,when kids are involved?And at what age do kids accept divorce?

Answer 1

Never..... Kids will learn to accept and understand divorce at any age, it just takes longer when they are under age 6. If the marriage is that bad, your kids will see it and staying together for their sake will not help them at all. It will only warp their view of what a relationship is to be when they are older.

Answer 2

No way! My parents had a miserable marriage, my mom had to stay with my dad while she went back to school so she could get a degree to support us when she kicked my dad out. She finally did when I was 18. I really wish that they had gotten divorced when I was younger, because it was horrible to see him beat her up, and hear them fight all the time. You have to do what creates the most healthy environment for the kids...and being in a home where the parents hate each other is not going to help them out. Being together only physically is not something that is going to make the kids feel secure, or create an example of a good relationship for their future.

Just be honest with your kids. Let them know you're there for them, and be as sincere and involved as you can. It will be hard, but I think your kids will look back and feel better about it, rather then living in a tension filled environment. Good luck, if you need more advice, you can e-mail me.

Answer 3

I think, based on my personal experience as a child that unless there is physical violence you should try to stay together. My father beat my mom daily and she never left him. This was back in the 60s and 70s. The attitude towards domestic violence then was kinda turn away, don't get involved. It had a profound affect on me as a child and even now as a 48yr old. But if it is just a case of you not be happy in your marriage, or if your marriage is not up to your expectations or what ever then you should try counseling, and anything else possible to salvage your marriage. Because of the issues that I had, I was a single parent to my two kids and not having their dad close by was detrimental to them.
She/he does not state what is causing this misery and I think that to automatically use divorce is cowardly. I mean try other options first, counseling, maybe a trial separation whatever. No one says marriage is a walk in the park and it just pisses me off that people opt out of the commitment the first time things get a little rough.
ALL SHE IS SAYING IS THAT SHE/HE IS MISERABLE. SHE DOES NOT SAY WHY. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT HAPPY IN A RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD AUTOMATICALLY SEEK A DIVORCE. SHE MIGHT BE THE REASON FOR HER OWN MISERY. I ADVOCATE COUNCELING FIRST.

Answer 4

I am having the same questions...

I think it is better to do what is right for the kids. They will accept a divorce if that's what needs to happen. I am going through a trial separation with my husband and my kids are adjusting fine, they are 2, 3 and 8. It's easier for all of us to test this out before we fully decide to go through with a divorce. My husband and I just need some time apart and our kids are fine with that. This is what is best for my kids. If both my husband and I are happier apart, then my kids are happier. It will take a little adjusting, but in the long run they will be better prepared if we go through with a divorce.

Answer 5

It's not better to stay married and be miserable, but maybe it is possible to sort out your relationship. It's a big step to leave a marriage, especially with children, so be sure you're tried everything to make things better.

Try going to counselling together - it may be expensive but it's cheaper than divorce!

If you do divorce: Your kids will be angry with you, but that doesn't mean you can't mend your relationship with them. Try to make an agreement with your ex that you will share the kids and not criticise each other in front of them. Make sure you keep your promises to your kids, and don't make promises you won't be able to keep.

Answer 6

Kids never accept divorce, and the best answer has to come from you...however think about this...if you fight all the time even if the kids are asleep, they know about it. Do you want your kids to see you miserable and then think that is just how marriage is?

Answer 7

Ah, I wonder the same thing to an extent. I stayed married with the theory that things could only get better... And they did after a few years and suffering. lol...? Things are better now than they were by far.

I recommend being happy....easy way is to divorce....and the kids will be okay....hmmm....I reckon I would need to know the situation more so good luck!

Answer 8

OMG my sister and best friend are in the same boat. Think about it, is it better to portray to your children that being miserable is how relationships work? Then your kids will grow up to stay involved in crappy relationships, is that what you want? Leaving a bad relationship is hard, not only for you, but for your kids, however...your little girl will know that "better" is to be expected when she grows up, your little boy will know that if he is miserable in his relationship when he grows up, he can leave, or not to be an a@shole or he'll get dumped. Do what is best for you and your children.

Answer 9

married or divorced, if you are miserable, your kids will know

there is really no age for kids to accept divorce - I just think that, in order for our kids to be healthy and well-adjusted, they need to be around a parent that is also well-adjusted, how well can you be when you are miserable in a relationship?

in my case - am in the process of getting divorced... my husband cheated on me and currently lives with the woman he cheated on me with (along with her herd of children but that is another story)... what choice did I have but to divorce him? do I want my child to grow up thinking this is an acceptable way for his mother to be treated? no -- so here I am, doing what I feel is the best for me and my child... and trusting God that everything will turn out allright.

Answer 10

1st,no matter how old they might be kids never accept divorce unless their dad's an abusive **** that makes the whole family life miserable.2nd,if their parents couple is a failure I think it's much better for them to see both of them happy in separate way.3rd,one day they'll leave home to go to college,live their own lives...(you name it) and then you'll remain old and unhappy in a miserable marriage.Being parents is not about sticking up to traditional cliches,it's about showing your kids that their lives are in their own hands and that their happiness depends on the choices they'd be able to make.