He never does anything special, never does anything romantic, sex life is bad to nonexistant (as passionate as dry toast), never defends, ignores when his friends are around, leads desparate ugly lonely women on thinking he is interested in them and even when you talk to him about it he never really listens to it. and only really cares when he is not feeling good? What would you think about a successful better twin of yourself in the opposite sex?
2006-06-18 06:30:41 · 49 answers · asked by Guy Smiley 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had forgotten to tell you we had lived 2 yrs before getting married. I tried the best at being a good wife/friend. I have talked to him until blue in the face. When we USED to have sex I would haved to 1. Ask for it 2.Had it every 4-6 MONTHS apart and it wasnt very good. I have spoken to him until I am blue in fhe face.
2006-06-19 05:54:25 · update #1
I had forgotten to tell you we had lived 2 yrs before getting married. I tried the best at being a good wife/friend. I have talked to him until blue in the face. When we USED to have sex I would haved to 1. Ask for it 2.Had it every 4-6 MONTHS apart and it wasnt very good. I have spoken to him until I am blue in fhe face. He just seems to ignore it. I did not know he was going to be this way when we got married. He seems to ignore what I say and I have to ask him for a birthday card, valentine'd day card. I have given him ideas he seems to ignore
2006-06-19 05:56:08 · update #2
We don't have any money and even if we did, he would not agree to couseling.
2006-06-19 06:08:42 · update #3
I also forgot to add. 1. He was not concerned when I was sick but he was only concerned when he was. 2. He will only do things if HE feels like it and he only does really good things for himself. He never never wants to do anything good for me. Only if it concerns him
2006-06-19 06:14:11 · update #4
I think you already know. You are not happy in this marriage, your husband doesn't care about your feelings at all. You don't see any way to get him to change and you don't want to live this way. I don't like to recommend divorce but if all you say is true than I think that would be the best thing if you want a happy future for yourself.
2006-06-27 07:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by jodi M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetie, here is what I did when I was married. I have been married three times before the one I am married to now. With the first one, I left, took the kids, and divorced him. We became real good friends. With the second one, he hit me ONCE, I put a gun to his head and told him he better make sure I am down for the count or I would blow him away, then I left and divorced him, because if they do it once, they will do it again. The third one, came to me and admitted he had feelings for another woman when he was treating me the way you are being treated now. Since you only have sex very little and its not so good, he either has someone else, does himself, or just wants to be your friend. So oblige him. Don't stay unhappy. Everyone deserves happiness. I finally found mine. He is great. It took me a few tries, but it was worth it in the long run. Don't stay where you are not wanted. Good luck, sweetie.
2006-07-02 04:26:53 · answer #2 · answered by robyn_raja 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must agree with whatever27. He is mentally &, emothionally abusing you. No one deserves that...man or woman. I have been abused in all shapes and forms by my ex-husband for 22 years. It took me that long to get up the courage to go out on my own. Don't make that mistake.
You should focus on changing yourself to be the person you want to be. New clothes, new hairstyle, what ever it takes. Maybe take some classes in something you are very interested in.
When invited to parties, family gatherings etc. Ask if he would like to join you. If not, go on your own. This is important for you and he cannot accuse you of not saying anthing to him about it.
Once you start making changes like this you will feel better about yourself and it may spark a new interest from him. If not, than I say, before divorce, try a legal separation.
Don't let the abuse continue.
2006-07-02 05:09:44 · answer #3 · answered by Help Keep America Beautiful 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was that bad for two years of living together, then why did you get married in the first place? You are partly at fault here, because you accepted his behavior before, and agreed to get married. Why should he change his ways if you seemed content enough for all that time? I just left my girl of 3 1/2 years because I got tired of being 3rd or 4th priority in her life. She even asked me to marry her, but I thought if this is the best it's gonna be, than no way. Sorry for your loss, you must love him a lot. That's why I stayed with my girl for so long. Cut your losses, get a divorce, and don't let another man treat you that way again. Life is too short to be wasted on a horrible relationship.
2006-07-02 01:28:21 · answer #4 · answered by Spillski 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You make it sound so hopeless that I'm completely blank on a possible remedy. I presume you've been married for a long time, over 10 or 15 years or more. He sure doesn't sound like someone that's going to change with the usual methods of good communications, etc. I'm so sorry. I don't envy your position at all.
2006-06-18 06:34:50 · answer #5 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first make sure he knows your concerns.ask him how he think the both of you could make it better. suggest counseling if he dont go you go . also shock him. after you have told him how you feel and what you expect and if he still ignores go away for couple of days let him miss you change your routine let him know this not exceptable and you need more. try everything if nothing works give him a bigger shock and go out the door,you deserve better.he sounds like a very selfish inconsiderate person maybe with some insercurities. good luck i hope something works curly
2006-07-02 00:23:56 · answer #6 · answered by curly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AngelQueen- could it be that we are married to the same man? Only thing you didn't mention that he is openly hostile toward me, so maybe they are 2 different guys.
Well, I feel for ya. I know exactly what you are going through. As for what to do about him- leave him, divorce him, and forget him. I know, becoming a divorcee' doesn't seem very appealing, but it's either that, or living in the deadzone for many years.
2006-06-30 21:32:44 · answer #7 · answered by percolated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is disrespectful. He does not value you. You should address the seriousness of your relationship and your feelings; if he does not care, you need to be strong and get a divorce. He does not sound like a husband I would love to spend the rest of my life with. You deserve love and passion and most importantly, dignity; he needs to treat you with love and respect and if he does not or cannot, for whatever reason, know that you will only shortchange yourself.
Good luck, and think of your happiness.
2006-06-29 17:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by Mindee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what kept u waiting all that time of disregard ? u mentioned u had lived 2y with him before marriage , wasnt that adequate to notice his rediculous personality ?
the only available remedy now is to use ur patience and to talk and talk and talk to him and never give up that is if u still love and want him but if u r fed up and staying with him would make ur life hell then ask for a divorce , maybe his conscience would awake if he would feel that the time of u going away has come .....cheer up , trust me there is nothing in life worth crying for ...
2006-07-02 02:35:50 · answer #9 · answered by Egyptian Daffodil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two need some serious counceling.
He's lost interest in the marriage and only you two can figure out why with perhaps the help of a professional.
I hope things get better for you and your husband.
2006-06-18 06:34:13 · answer #10 · answered by Shep 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋