my daughter does not want to see me for fathers day. fall-out of divorce.?

Question

I'm not the one whop commited adultery and I'm not the one who wanted the divorce. so why am I the one who is still getting hurt from what my ex wife did ????????????????????? My god it's been over a year and I'm the one alienated

Answer 1

Your daughter is upset because she doesn't have the family she wants, not over the reasons you are not a family anymore. It is sad she doesn't want to see you for Father's Day.

You can't change her, but you can tell her how you feel. Your ex- may be influencing her view of you, but she can judge you for yourself. Be careful how you present yourself to her. If you love her, be loving. If you feel sad or upset she won't see you, tell her you feel that way.

Do your best to avoid trashing your ex to her. Save that for your buddys at poker night. With enough time, and with careful expressions of your honest feelings about her, she will come around one day. She's your daughter.

Good luck and Happy Father's Day (in advance for next year)

Answer 2

Why? Because you really picked a looser to have a child with. Now you are paying for it, like a lot of other men. Believe me this is more than the norm than the oddity in a divorce. For some reason these mothers feel they have to bad mouth the dad in front of the child and fill the child's
head with all kinds of misleading information. The best thing you can do is to understand that your child is being brain washed. The absolutely best thing to do for your child is not to fight about it. When she tells you she does not want to see you for Father's day just be honest and tell her "That really makes me sad that you do not want to spend this special day with me. But if you don't want to be with me I can't really force you." You cannot unbrainwash the child unless you have at least 3 uninterrupted months with her. To try to do so little by little will only make it more difficult for your child to live with the mother. Remember your daughter is trying to survive in all this mess. Forget the courts, as long as the child is not in danger of actual death they don't really care. It is wise to tape record any phone calls from the daughter and especially the mother, and to keep a diary of the events that happen that is proof she is being alienated. If you really are serious in being closer to your daughter, may I suggest you move to a house on the same block where she lives and then ask for 50/50 custody.

Answer 3

it ought to no longer make any distinction to you the position your daughter spends her holidays even if it can make a distinction for your daughter. If there are different little ones contained in the homestead, she would probable relish a baby dependent vacation like Christmas anyplace different little ones were. once you've Thanksgiving then she receives Christmas and vice versa from 3 hundred and sixty 5 days to three hundred and sixty 5 days. As each and each of you get extra down the line and remarry this would develop into more effective of an problem so that is maximum proper to set the regulations now. young ones thrive on rituals and custom. once you have not any particular attachment to the numerous holidays, that is time to create some so as that those are issues that you and your daughter can construct memories out of. Make a scrap e book about Dad days so she will look into this at cases once you're not any further jointly and nonetheless experience particular. you are able to make sure to handle the holidays "like in simple terms yet another day" yet little ones assume magic and memories on holidays and that i imagine your daughter will be regrettably dissatisfied in case you do not care about providing for that pick.

Answer 4

My experience is that the loss of feeling close to the the non custodial parent makes the child uncomfortable. Make a concerted effort to call every day, no matter what. If the ex doen't want that write a short letter each day and when you have her let her see them. Go to all activities. Ask a lot of questions about friends, ideas, and life eventually she'll open up. But contact, close contact is the key.

Answer 5

You can not pull your daughter into this. If your daughter doesnt want to see you for fathers-day then ask her to see you another time. this is the way your daughter wants it, its not about you or her mothers. What matters the most is how your child feels and wants and thats what your focuse should be. Let your daughter know that you will be there for her ANY GIVEN DAY , anytime and that you are fine with her not seeing you on fathers day, dont make her feel quilty EVER. I know this hurts you, ive been through it myself and im the mother. There was times where i didnt want my kids to go to him but i had to let it go for the sake of my kids because they need both of us and what i want or he wants doesnt matter, its the kids that matters in any case.
For next year if she doesnt want to come let her know you will go on a trip to do something fun even if you arent really going anywheres and that you hope she will have fun too with her mother or whomever she may want to be with, this may change her mind but dont turn it into a struggle for her, you have to say it with kind and understanding words within the right age setting, i dont know how old your daughter is.

Answer 6

I would say don't give up. Try writing a letter to her letting her know your true feelings that you are hurting that she does not talk to you.One thing you can't do is bad mouth the mother or try an buy her love with presents that will only make you look worst in her eyes. Try other relatives for help in getting her to talk to you.But before you do anything talk to your ex. tell her that she is playing dirty by turning your daughter against you and that maybe all of you should sit in a meeting professional or not and talk openly.

Answer 7

There's really nothing anybody can say to make you feel better. What is your favorite pastime? Is there a game or races or a movie that you would enjoy today. Do you like going to the gym. Do something for yourself. Stay out of the bars and don't drink to try to make yourself feel better. Let today go and hope that there are better days to come. Don't blame your daughter. Let a few days go by and call your daughter and tell her you'd like to spend some special time with her real soon. Then do what she wants to do. My heart goes out to you. Can you e-mail her with a sweet message--no accusations--just that you miss her and want to see her real soon.

Answer 8

sounds like there is more than what your telling here, why would'nt your daughter wanna see you for fathers day, how old is she ???? did you give her choice???? if she is below the age of like 11 or 12 then her butt wouldnt have choice to but to come and see her father, the young daughter does not understand why you left, all she knows is that you did leave her and her mother, that is alot for alittle girl to understand, i know its been a year give her more time, but dont EVER< EVER give up, call her everyday and remind her that you love her, or that you wanna take her to the movies, or skating , or for pizza, just simply pick up the phone a dial the number everyday and let her know that there isnt a day that you dont think of her, yes iam sure that her mother has filled her head up with all kind of **** but the young daughter will live and learn on her own and as she gets older you need to be there to remind her that its ok to cry and that everyone makes mistakes, but tell her that you think of her often and that you LOVE HER, always do this, i am telling you, you will win in the long run, make your self noticeable to her every little chance you get, and another thing tel her you love and miss her everyday, she will then realize how much she means to you, send her cards once a week, send letters and emails, whatever you can do to keep the communcation line open this is very important, not mentin little girls need there fathers more than we are willing to admit, i wish i were as close to my father as when i was younger, but its cool and thing is that my father always showed up at school, grandmas house, my moms house everywhere i would be as a child just to remin how much he loved me and that he was not ever gonna give up on that love, she needs to feel safe again when around you, all she knows is what if he walks oput me like he did mom then what reaaure her everyday that you never wlaked out of her life just her moms be the honest you can be with her, but never talk ugly about her mother in front of her, yes we had differneces and those were that you could not live to toghter any more becuase we both have grown apart, there are ways for you to win that trust back, also keep your head at least we know that you care about and how upset you really are becuase you cannot see your daughter, but if your x was any kind of mother she would encorage the young child to see her father on this special day especially becuiase you want ot be apart her life, save your money and take her court is things get worse, but remeber call her everyday if you have to and tell her that you are thinking of her and that you love her have a great fathers day best wishes charlotte, you can email if you like at [e-mail]

Answer 9

I know it's easier said than done, but give it time. Your daughter will come around eventually. Just make sure to keep making an effort to see her so she knows that you haven't just abandoned her. If your ex won't let you see her, it's time to go to court. Hire a good attorney and document everything in the meantime. Good luck!

Answer 10

It's called life, and it hurts sometimes -- BUT the other side of life is that someday she (your daughter) will see things more clearly, with open eyes. until then, don't give her any reason to resent you.