2006-06-18 04:29:28 · 7 answers · asked by ButterflyGirl888 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Humpty Dumpty is the only known off-spring of Mother Goose, the giant anthropomorphized Goose Scribe of the late to early 1600s. In the Year of Our Lord (not Jesus Christ, Lord Sixteenhundrendandthree Aydee), Humpty Dumpty was "born". After a one night stand with a travelling Cassowary Salesman, Mother Goose (who was then just known as "Goose") gave "birth" to Humpty Dumpty the very next morning.
Humpty Dumpty is also a character in a Mother Goose rhyme. Most English-speaking children are familiar with the rhyme: "Chess and cheesecake, deviant pie - build me a fnord-like yak, but don't lace it with asbestos, 'cause I'm hoping to rent it out as a summer-house". Many people suspect that this cryptic rhyme may not be about Humpty Dumpty at all, but these people are idiots.
At the tender age of 9908, Humpty Dumpty fell off a wall. Almost immediately after this, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. It is a commonly held theory that all the King's Horseman and all the King's men couldn't put Humpty together again - but most scholars agree that they simply WOULDN'T put Humpty together again, because Humpty was a **** (though one eye-witness claims that one horse tried his best, but simply made matters worse). Others conspire that Humpty Dumpty was actually pushed by Oprah. This theory is supported by the fact that directly after the incident, Oprah was seen scooping up and devouring Humpty's freshly-spilt yolk. Some say Humpty's yolk enhanced Oprah's already phenomenal powers of mind-control and chronokinesis. Others say Oprah did it out of self-preservation, having read a prophecy that she would one day be slain by a Platypus Warrior, the presumed would-be off-spring of Humpty. Perhaps the answer lies somewhere in the middle.
Humpty Dumpty underwent intense reconstructive surgery. Daunted by the incredible pain of the fall (and his miscarriage), Humpty soon grew an addiction to prescription pain-killers. Thankfully, he weened himself off the prescription drugs by substituting them with alcohol and heroin.
Humpty Dumpty is currently living with his partner of 7 years, Kevin Costner, and is working on his first book, an autobiography titled "Cracking
2006-06-18 04:37:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Egg-zactly.
2006-06-18 11:37:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was the "other shooter" who hid on the grassy knoll when John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Either that, or some fat, egg-shaped guy who had vertigo.
2006-06-18 11:39:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A big egg head.
2006-06-18 11:33:37 · answer #4 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was a good egg.
2006-06-18 11:33:10 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My gramps
2006-06-18 11:32:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dunno, but why is he always pictured as an egg? Eggs aren't mentioned in the rhyme.
2006-06-18 11:32:33 · answer #7 · answered by karenjet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋