Does child support judge a parent different that the other parent?

Question

Okay, I have heard that a parent should get the child if their is abuse, should the word abuse be redefined. because to some it means mental, physical and emotional. No matter how you might think of it, we all have been through mental, physical, and emotional abuse as a child, and we are still alive to speak about it. Mentally competent is hard to prove in the court of law as a defense, so why do we allow the courts to use it when we are dealing with child custody. I mean, some women use this as a defense to get the children, and to have control over the father. Sorry ladies, but that is the truth. The weak are being overcome by the strong in some relationships, so the weak fall victims to the courts mercy in a revengeful way that we all know the courts are having more sympathy for the weak. The point is, should we all be subject to mental evaluations and drug test when dealing with the affairs of child custody and child support these are both parents children not just one.

Answer 1

I'm not sure what the question is. Usually both parents have to support the child; the proportion each pays is based on their relative incomes. If the father makes twice as much as the mother, then the father must pay 2/3rds of the total support obligation. Each state will set the total support obligation per child. Who gets custody of the child is a different matter, determined by the judge based on the best interests of the child.

Answer 2

Child support is a right of the child, not the parent and it *should* be easily calculated by the court. The formula considers how much money each parent makes and the amount of time that they have custody/visitation.

Regarding how a judge determines custody, their methods are as varied based upon their state's and counties policies and their personal biases.

I've read case history where the father was granted full custody of his two children because is ex-wife's lifestyle was one that the judge considered "detrimental to the children's immediate well-being and safety". The mother was a Wiccan and a lesbian. The judge determined that the children would be safer with their father, who was a convicted rapist. Are you puzzled yet? Because the judge sure wasn't. He stated that the children would be safer with their rapist father because he had only raped two elderly women. Therefore, the children weren't in any danger from him because they didn't fit his profile. See? I knew that would clear everything up.

In general though, most family courts still favor the mother over the father for custody issues. But many courts are seeing an overhaul to that way of thinking and fathers are getting a fare shake in more and more cases.

Answer 3

First of all, child support doesn't depend on who is the parent, just the incomes of both parties and what percentage of time each has with the child.

As to abuse, proving or disproving mental abuse is nearly impossible and parents have little credibility with a judge in this area because they know parents lie to hurt each other.

Most courts are going to order you into mediation to help you AGREE on a custody and visitation agreement. Any parent that tries to keep the kids from the other is usually judged poorly by the mediator and the judge, those this is not guaranteed.

If you know the other parent is using drugs, you can ask the judge to order random drug testing. If there is a request for psychological evaluations, they are usually mutual - meaning both parents are checked.

If there is real physical abuse, you need to get child protective services involved. They are required to investigate.

Now...if you are truly determined to fight to take away your kids, or get stuck in the ugly spot where your ex is refusing visitation to you and breaking court orders, you need to know that this WILL become extremely expensive. Like maybe in the $100K range in legal fees and it tears up the kids in horrendous ways!

Best course of action:
1. do your darndest to never put the kids in the middle. Don't bad mouth their other parent. Be kind and loving to the kids.
2. Don't initiate the fight with the other parent and walk away if she starts it. ESPECIALLY if this is in front of kids.
3. Take witnesses to pick up and delivery exchanges. Carry a video camera.
4. Keep good written diary of every contact and every time you don't get your kids.
5. Never skip your child support payments (it only makes the court mad at you). ALWAYS have documentation proving you gave her ANY money. Don't ever give cash without a receipt. The burden of proof that you paid will always be on you.
6. If she tells your kids bad things about you. Resist the temptation to answer them (other than that is untrue if they repeat it) or worse, counter with attacks on the ex including things like "she lied." If you are a good parent, you kids will and do know this. You don't have to defend yourself.


There are a number of organizations that support father's rights. Do a google and you'll find some great resources.

Answer 4

The state I live in mainly the mothers get the child or children. My parents are divorced and when I was younger the Judge gave my mom custody of me and my sister to her. My mom is abusive in many way, but she still got us. It all depends on the judge and who the judge thinks is the better parent, but it usually the mother.

Answer 5

YesI think both men and women should be subject to drug testing and mental evealuationa nd your generalization of women being weak is wrong your still living in the ice age.This is 2006 we have women in goverment

Answer 6

I agree with your last sentence. And I might add that the same should apply for any parents taking new borns home from the hospital. Throw in a parenting class or two with a parent for dummies book wouldn't hurt either.

Answer 7

The courts tend to favor women there are exceptions but it is rare. at least it's that way in WI.

Answer 8

Is this a question in your rant? Or is it just a rant?

Answer 9

no