step-mother-in-law fallout. please help!!!!!!?

Question

few days before easter i told something to her in cofindence.when she found out that we would not be joining the family for easter she began to tell everyone what i had told her, not a big deal, but it did start some conflict because she added a few things that were never said. i did confort her a few days later and as a result no longer speak to her at this time. because of the fallout my husband's dad does not speak to him. the only ones suffering are our children. should i make nice again. reason they were mad was we decided to spend easter with my husband's mom and grandparents and did not include them. easter was also my husband's b-day and it was said that they were upset because he,husband, did not call him,his father, for his birthday.

Answer 1

Try telling them like it or not, your husband has two parents and only one of him. Its not his fault they are not together.They gotta learn to share.( or you could bring the ex-wife with you next time, ask them if that would work better for them??????)

Answer 2

all i can say is this the step mother in law was only looking for trouble, every man needs a father more than there willing to admit, make it right her again for the kids and your husbnad, not to mention this put strains on your husband becuase now he is torn apart, dont let him keep feeling like this make it right with her for your husband and children. Now that you know about her deception do not trust her ever again with anything you tell her, and i mean that, but let there be family peace, you will only hurt the kids and husband if this charde keeps on, let it go, just never trust her again, the more grandparents the kids have the better, they are the ones to spoil them rotten anyway so let them do it, never trust her word again and you must be at least civil to her when you join husband for family functions, that way the children dont pick up on that turmoil, let it go life is to short but i do understand becuase i would be pissed if someone decived me but let it go so your husband how great fathers day can be for me if you wanna talk you can email me [e-mail]

Answer 3

Well first... don't tell this lady ANYTHING ever again.

Secondly...why did you not go out on EASTER? (not that anything justifies breaking a confidence)

Look... Parent-Adult Child relationships are hard enough... throw a "STEP" in there... and it gets worse.

Now that you know I understand the problems... Her is my answer (finally - GOD CAN THIS GUY TALK! :)

Proceed... based on your need/wants. How important is it to have a relationship with this woman? If the answer is NOT MUCH... then put little or no effort into "fixing this".

One thing for sure... I'd have WORDS with her about "WORDS"... I'd let her know in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that the sharing of things in confidence is IRRESPECTIVE of "attitude"... and If you're EVER going to share your feelings with her... it will be after she gains your trust back.

I'd also insist on an appology. But I'd also want to know what you did... to cause her to act that way.

Answer 4

Your mother-in-law was wrong to betray your confidence, but someone needs to take the high road; let it be you. Try to set things right before things deteriorate further. Do not be confrontational, but do apologize to her for causing hurt feelings when you chose to spend Easter with your family. You are not admitting this is wrong, only that you are truly sorry for causing her to be upset. Then let it go and learn not to confide in her about anything you don't want the rest of the family to be concerned with.

Answer 5

Tell her to stay out of your family if she can't keep a private conversation private! Some step-mothers are really out to cause problems!