i getting signs that my friend might be a lesbian,but i'm not sure. how can I ask her without getting her mad? (btw,I'm bi)
2006-06-18 02:38:54 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You can't ask her, but you may see if she acts weirdly in the company of other women and if she shows interest only in other women!
2006-06-18 02:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by SweetBaby 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Honestly, If someone has not come out, I don't think you can assume anything. If she behaves in a certain way that may be perceived as being gay, this is not enough to make such a bold assumption. Doing so could cause feelings to get hurt and your friend may not be a friend anymore. Unless she tells you or you see her engaging in behavior that is undoubtedly associated with being gay, I think the best thing to do is to accept her for who she is and chalk her "strange behavior" up to her own quirkiness.
If she really is a friend you should be able to talk to her openly and discuss these things. BUT do it in private. It's possible those who aren't yet open about their sexuality are very conscious of how people think of them. So don't try to make them feel different than you, relate with your own feelings or stories. Are you thinking if she is gay that perhaps you could see her as more than a friend... like a friend with benefits?
Perhaps one of the best ways to give a girl the chance to tell you whether or not she's bi or a lesbian is to casually refer to your own sexual orientation. Maybe bring up a political topic, like gay marriage or refer to a memory involving an ex-girlfriend. This gives her a very natural and non confrontational opportunity to refer to her own sexual orientation.
2006-06-18 02:56:25 · answer #2 · answered by kuddles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to her. Be open with her and ask directly in a semi-private location. If you are open with her, she shouldn't be mad. Explain why you feel the way you do about her. Don't press the issue, she may get mad a first becouse she's still not accepting it herself, so just show support and embrace with open arms. Maybe open the door and let her come to you when shes ready once she know the chanc eot talk is there. If she is a lesbian, knowing you are Bi may help her come to you for support, adivce, and help.
2006-06-24 07:30:56 · answer #3 · answered by theaterhanz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never assume. Who knows? Not all lesbians have a masculine look to them. I'm a lesbian an NONE of my girlfriends looked like guys. All of them were feminine and beautiful. I have a beautiful wife now and ALL the guys are stunned because they can never have her!
Bottom line - let HER come out if she is gay and ready to come out. If YOU are gay, then TELL HER AND THEN ASK HER IF SHE IS.
2006-06-18 03:51:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if she knows your bi then there shudnt be much of a problem asking her. dont throw it in her face...try to turn it into a joke where it doesn't leave that awkward silence. or you can just be straight up and ask hey are u str8, bi, or gay.
2006-06-18 09:36:14 · answer #5 · answered by orange_crush_05 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know, and it's extremely rude to ask unless you're looking to hook up with her. All you can do is use your gaydar, but obviously, there are some straight people that could be perceived as gay and some gay people that could be perceived as straight, so you never know.
2006-06-18 03:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
never assume!!!( found it out the hard way myself!)
so the best you can do now is to sit her down and tell her that you are Bi.....because by doing this you are showing that you trust her enough to tell her this and hopefully she gets the lead that she is able to trust you enough to tell you that she's gay. never betray her by telling everyone though cuz its not your place to do so.
just let her know that you are always there is she needs support and someone to talk to.
i hope this works.... good luck!
2006-06-18 07:44:30 · answer #7 · answered by Rainbow nation 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they haven't come out yet, you probably won't be able to tell for sure! If you're really good friends with this person, she shouldn't mind you asking her.
2006-06-18 02:41:19 · answer #8 · answered by flying.daggers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm, do you get the feeling she's at least somewhat attracted to you?
could try saying; "excuse me, I don't want to freak you out but..."
and then kiss her and tell her what you think.
might work, might be a bad idea. but you'll never know for sure until you do something.
2006-06-18 02:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will tell you in her own time. Perhaps she doesn't know yet. Sometimes the person that comes out is the last to know.
2006-06-18 02:42:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ask but keep in mind that is a personal matter and some people do not like others in personal issues - what does it matter anyway if she is your friend - sex is off limits because of the friendship - so what else could matter?
2006-06-18 02:41:59 · answer #11 · answered by MS L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋