I have tried everything to make him see that this viewing of other women hurts me, but he says it is harmless. I am at the point now where I want to clean out the bank acct. and move away. I love this man but I cant deal with this habit anymore. Any advice?
2006-06-18 00:46:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Buy a web cam and put yourself on the site. Tables are turned. Wish I had the guts to do this, if you do go for it.
I agree with your feeling that it is disrespectful and still cheating in a sense, but my husband feels they are not real people to him since he doesn't know them and will never meet them so it is not cheating.
At the risk of being repetative as I said this in another answer, someone once explained this to me about my husband's similar habits:
Intimacy means "in to me I see" and you cannot have strickly sexual relations with someone you are romantic with without intimacy, but some men cannot handle that and cope by these anonymous sexual exploits.
Usually sexual addictions accompany other addictions like alcoholism, but not always. Is there another problem? Has he always done this or is it starting recently? How long have you been married?
The above reasoning sometimes soothes me and sometimes doesn't. The main thing is respect yourself and be true to yourself - if that means leaving then. . . If it means staying and working through it then. . . What would truly make you happy in the long run? I love the straightforward answers people give, but when emotionally involved it is not always that easy and you sometimes just need a new perspective.
Hope you find a simple answer or at least the best answer. I will be following your question closely.
Wish you love, luck and happiness in everything!
2006-06-18 04:10:42 · answer #1 · answered by Jill M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me the real question you are asking is whether it's permissable to "Clean out the bank account and move away". The answer is NO. Unless YOU earned all that money it would be stealing if you take more than your half. And just because your husband looks at pictures of naked women doesn't give you the right to take what's not rightfully yours.
If you are really "Oh SO upset!!" then do the right thing and tell your husband to stop watching porn or you will divorce him. On the other hand if you have lost interest in sex and are not providing him with any, be thankfull he doesn't divorce YOU for sexual abandonment.
2006-06-18 03:35:19 · answer #2 · answered by czar123 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him that you view this as serious as a porn site in that if he has to look at other women, he must not be happy at home. Seek marriage therapy and let him know that you will NOT except it any more. You love him but this is not going to be healthy and you are ready to pack your things if it doesn't change. If he doesn't get the message, then spread your wings. It won't be easy but you don't sound happy as it is and a change may do you well. God bless you and good luck. Speaking of God, remember to keep him at the heart of the matter.
2006-06-18 02:20:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. Pretend that you are looking at other men's.
Hopefully, this will soon fade away. Don't clear the bank account prove to him that you are a strong woman and that you can and will survive this this. Let him know that you are tried of going through this stage of his life either he will have to stop and start treating you with more respect are you will do what you have to do. Let him know that you do love him and you want your marriage to work. Collect all the evidence that you need to prove your case just is case you do decide to leave him.
2006-06-18 01:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The statement about it being "harmless" flew over his head. If you decide to clean out his bank account and move away, he'll find out he was wrong. It wasn't as harmless as he thought it was.
2006-06-18 00:55:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can a surely will become an addiction. Your husband is getting sick. If sex is all in the mind as they say you must think about it in these terms. The more he get's into this relationship with women who aren't real the sicker he will get. He needs psychological help.
2006-06-18 03:38:48 · answer #6 · answered by TMAC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it. He is too old to change his bad habits. I have some bad habits, too. I would say that as long as you are the only real women on his live, let him live his little fantasy.
As long as he doesn't make effort to contact those girls or send them money, it should be ok.
By the way thanks for the site, looks nice :)
2006-06-18 03:28:28 · answer #7 · answered by Pochowired 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he ignores your feelings about this he is either not hearing you or he is addicted. you may want to try counseling here or divorce him, but don't clear out the bank account, do this the legal way and you'll get your share.
2006-06-18 00:54:17 · answer #8 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look let him be unless he's out f**k ing other women let him be ok cause at 54 he would have a hard time picking up girls in person anyway
2006-06-18 01:29:47 · answer #9 · answered by young one1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is going threw the 7 year itch, try doing things to spice up your love life,
2006-06-18 00:49:37 · answer #10 · answered by bosslady17872 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋