I am 21 and I load bombs/ missiles, etc and deal with/ fix anything that deals with weapons on the F-15 fighter jet for the US Air Force. My husband calls me(my job) a "glorified stockboy."I was a juvinelle deliquent, like him, and caused trouble and had no respect for anything or anyone. But I have respect for what I do. Not because I'm patriotic, I'm not sure what it is, but I just do.I married him after being together for 2 years.We had no wedding because it was right before I went to basic training (air force version of boot camp). It was mostly because the Air Force would pay to move him with me where ever I got stationed. His father is in the Air Force, but growing up he was abusive and left his mom and him.My husband has a bad idea of military and thinks he know's all there is to it.He has no idea and doean't want to hear my version.Our marriage is good, but this is not. Which is bad because it's my JOB.I want to make it a career but he doesn't and wont even listen to my reasons
2006-06-18 00:17:11 · 13 answers · asked by chica123 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am also a woman in the Air Force with a civilian husband. Sounds like you are going to have to make a choice. Being a dependent with a military spouse you give up A LOT. My husband has given up many successful jobs to follow me around in my career when he was ALWAYS making more money than me. He's been very supportive and he's proud of what I do. I would never have been able to stay in this long if he wasn't
If your husband doesn't understand and support your career then I'm not sure how you can make either work. Does he want you to get out? How's he going to act when you have to deploy, or you have to work 12 hr shifts, exercises etc? What about if you guys decide to have kids and you have to go TDY?
I think that it should be a decision between the both of you whether or not you should reenlist. If you want to continue your marriage then maybe it would be best for you to get out. If you want to continue being a part of the best AF in the world then let him know that and the choice to be there will be up to him. But I think it would be extremely difficult to stay in with his attitude towards something that's important to you.
Do you think maybe he feels odd that he's the husband and you are the active duty member? Maybe you can find some other dependent husbands that he can bond with and get some advice from?
2006-06-22 09:38:21 · answer #1 · answered by coconut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can the marriage be classified as "good" when he doesn't respect you by not respecting what you do? He married you and signed up for the free ride on the military expense did he not? What he is doing to you is called "belittlement" and it isn't healthy in a relationship. It isn't healthy anytime, anywhere for that matter. How can you have open lines of communication within your relationship if he "refuses" to listen? You do not mention what he does for a living, only that the both of you were juvenile delinquents. Is it possible that he is jealous that you have made something of yourself and he hasn't? Is it possible that "riding in on your coat tails" is eating at him? Not to mention his whole view is already skewed by a traumatic childhood, where the military played a role, however small. You two really do need to find a way to open the lines of communication. I wish that I knew how to tell you to do so. There are so many options, however you know him better than anyone, you know what he is likely to go for and what he isn't. Have you ever just flat out asked him "Do you love me?" When he says yes, ask him "Then why can't you respect me?". I hate preaching the counseling line, but it IS a good option.
2006-06-18 00:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by adagia27 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My opinion (and that's all it is) is he is jealous of you, and what you have accomplished. It will not get any better either. I think the one think that could change his respect for you is for himself to go into the Air Force. You and I know what it is like to be in basic training, it sure makes you appreciate what you had big time. Only then when he has a similar, job, will he give you the respect. Right now he is feeling very inadequate and compensates for it by belittling you.
2006-06-18 01:33:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband work?
It could be that he has a fragile ego.... b/c as you know his status is simply "dependent", which could hurt an already insecure man. He has to follow YOU when you PCS, which means his career (if he even has one) comes AFTER yours!
Since you've turned your life around and you are enjoying the benefits of a military career like free education, travel, discounts etc... he could be jealous.
You might have to let him go if he doesn't show you more respect! Don't you want a partner who respects you and wants to build together, not tear you down?
2006-06-18 00:28:08 · answer #4 · answered by Janeen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to grow up and act like a man. Since he has a problem with your job, he should spend less time running it down and spend more time working 2 full time jobs himself. What does he think of your job paying the bills? Does he have a problem with that too? If so, that's all the more reason for him to get 2 jobs.
2006-06-18 00:42:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look trying counseling but ,do he have a job or going to school or something cause I'm in the army and i would have loved to marry anybody in the service so i could get all the benefits and all. Tell him sop worrying about your job you give him a place to stay and take care of him he should be thankful cause i would have loved to be in his place he has it made and should appreciation what you do and not complain so much.
2006-06-18 00:40:52 · answer #6 · answered by young one1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heart to heart time. Write down your feelings on paper- how does it make you feel? Explain the joy you fell serving your country and your career goals. If you come at him with purpose, confidence and commitment it will make him think that you are srious. Keep doing what you do never let your dreams become shaded. Best of luck and I appreciate your service to our country!
2006-06-18 00:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by D baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart, and intuitions. Someone who loves you WANTS you to do what makes you happy. I think he should have a lot of respect for what you do.
I mean, always respect his opinions, too. But, don't let anyone....not even a hubby....hold you back from your dreams.
He subconsciously may not want you to be successful....because, it would give you more independence....and make him insecure.
Do what your heart tells you.
2006-06-18 00:25:27 · answer #8 · answered by treefrog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, try talking to a recruiter. He could help make chemical-biological weapons. jk I don't know what they do lol
2016-05-20 00:06:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has an insecurity problem. For some reason he needs to cut you down in order to feel better about himself.
2006-06-18 00:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by gcbtrading 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋