I have a friend of 12 years that got a divorce a couple of years ago. She said she moved out but after a few months her ex husband asked her to move back in. He did not want to reconcile but they have a child and he thought it would just be easier for some reason. They sleep in the same bed together every night and she she was telling me that they're even redecorating the bedroom. They still even have sex.
She asked him recently if they could get married again and he told her no, that she hadn't earned back the love he once had for her (he divorced her because he says she was too much of a taker and that she made him feel like nothing he did was ever enogh).
He won't allow her to date and he is constantly checking the #'s on her cel and checking her e-mail.
Is it me, or is this situation just insane? I'm trying to understand the reasoning behind their arrangement but i just don't get it.
Isn't he really just a sadist?
2006-06-17 22:18:07 · 15 answers · asked by mamabunny 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's a dumbass playing games. She's stupid too for playing along.
2006-06-17 22:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The situation is very much insane, it isn't you at all, it sounds like your friend needs to be put in therapy or an institution, she needs to kick the S.O.B. to the curb, kid or no kid, he can be a dad to the child long distance without ruining her life. Tell him to get a life of his own and to butt out of hers. Tell her to start going out, and it doesn't matter what he thinks, they aren't in a relationship anymore, they are just roomies, or bed buddies in this case. He is only using her until he can find someone else. I have been in that situation before, and it isn't worth her dignity to put up with that crap. She needs to move out and find a place for her and her child, and then, she will feel better about her new found freedom away from that jerk. He is just on a power trip, because he controls if she stays or goes right now, but if she moves out, he has no say so over anything she does.
2006-06-17 22:39:15 · answer #2 · answered by tennessee_cherokee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh definite. i have executed it & so have my moms and dads. it easily relies upon on how respectful you're to at least one yet another. i became no longer married yet I did ought to stay with my boyfriend for 2 months because of economic causes after a breakup. It became fingers down the most depressing time of my finished existence. lines were crossed consistently & I felt trapped even if it became nonetheless viable because I wasn't in worry or some thing. My moms and dads divorce turned right into a lot worse & i finished up having to eliminate my mom from the homestead because i became in serious worry for her. i'm getting married next week & i believe that if we had to split today shall we nonetheless stay jointly & bypass on with some appreciate for the different. We exceedingly a lot broke up a lengthy time period in the past over an problem it truly is now resolved yet we in no way disrespected the different & determined that we ought to help one yet another get by it. So it easily relies upon on the way you're as a pair. on the very maximum proper that is uncomfortable yet when neither of you're a probability to the different then i'd say you're in simple terms doing what you need to do & it will be over sometime so that you'll both bypass ahead.
2016-11-14 22:25:13 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not a sadist . Why pick on the man? the woman is crazy, yeah very crazy.
After a divorce and she still sleeps with the man.
Now the guy wants to remarry and she says no, plus the reason 4 divorce is bcos she was never satisfied of his company before.
Now that thet ar not married, the companionship (& sex) seems sweeter! Gud riddance. She is having her cake both ways!
(This is typical of those who rushed intop marriage and badly brought up gals/women)
(to answer your question - HELL NO! i would not live wit' her after booting her!!!! )
2006-06-19 23:40:47 · answer #4 · answered by pierrre23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your thoughts. It's an unhealthy situation for her and it will probably get worse. Whatever stimulated the marriage failure and divorce must still be a significant force in the home, and it's hard to imagine a positive outcome for this scenario. But (for example) battered wives often stay in the home and also defy logic in looking out for future safety, so don't think you'll convince the person in your example to leave him.
2006-06-17 22:26:49 · answer #5 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definetely would NOT live with someone after i divorced them. She's making a mistake and allowing him to control her life and use her for sex. She's an idiot. She needs to get out now. All she's doing is wasting her time. He gets whatever he wants from her, with no commitment.
2006-06-17 22:53:24 · answer #6 · answered by smurfette_au2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good lord.. sorry but she is an idiot!!!! He said he didn't want to reconcile, but that is what they have done. And she is a fool for letting that man use and abuse her like that... She hasn't "earned" his love back.. OMG I would do pack up and leave, or kick him out!
No he isn't a sadist, she kinda is.. But he is abusive that is emotional and verbal abuse and she is doing nothing good for the child by living like this... please trust me on this!!
2006-06-17 22:53:48 · answer #7 · answered by Mommadog 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once divorced, it is better to be away come what may! Even good memories hurt otherwiose, and staying togethere just enhancesthe hurt of divorce
2006-06-17 22:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by o2la 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way ..
The thing about being divorced is that you are not wanting to live with each other..
Bad situation there...
My ex lives 3 hours away and thats not far enough..
2006-06-17 22:22:14 · answer #9 · answered by Tracii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is SO stupid. He wants sex and control over her and yet said all the bad things about her. Why do it? I wouldn't even for the kids.
2006-06-18 04:46:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋