My husband hits me all the time but i have no friends or family to help me and no money as he takes?

Question

i have no chlidren and we have only been married just over a year he never used to be like this b4, i live in north wales uk , he hits me over any thing tea not being cook right and not giving him enough resoect what ever that means

Answer 1

Time to straighten his @ss up girl. Don't take that. When my 1st ex kept hitting me and my family/friends wouldnt help I took matters in my own hands, the last time I went through the wall he went flying through a window. My advice is hit back that shows you aint taking his sh1t no more. If you feel you can't hit back or you're scared look into some abuse shelters for women and if that isn't in question leave and call the cops have him thrown in jail and in the meantime while he's sitting in jail you find a place to go a place he wouldnt know the first place to look. If your family fears him in any way I wouldn't tell them where I was. Get a restraining order or most states have legal assistance and you can nail him with a divorce. Play it nasty "you fear for your life."
Thats what I would of done if things wouldn't of changed but they did after he realized he pushed me too far and was thrown through a window...
I'm not suggesting you throw him through a window, I'm suggesting that you have him arrested find a place to go that he wouldnt know where to look and get legal assistance.

Answer 2

Ever seen the movie the burning bed? Yeah sounds good huh! But don't do that of course.. Have a gun? Next time he hits you shoot him!

You really need to get in touch with a womans battered shelter, look in the phone book, it is usually in the front. Or call information and they can give you the number.

They will help you with a place to stay, help find you housing, a job, support for kids if you have them. They will help you with it all.. You will not be alone and you will have the support of other women going through the same thing, and ones who have already been through it.

Nobody has the right to put their hands on another person, or verbally abuse as well! There are only 3 ways out of an abusive relationship,
1. leave
2. he kills you
3. you kill him

And this is a fact. I would opt for 1! You will be ok!
My prayers are will you..
Be safe, and never tell him your plan, or even hint towards it "i am going to leave you if you hit me again"..

Answer 3

There is support out there for people like you... Just reading through your replies so far is enough to make you realise that you have to be strong and you CAN leave him... I understand that you are scared, I too have been in your situation, and I too had no support from family down to my own pride and embarassment... I was fortunate enough to have a lady who, at the time, was assigned to be my "key-worker" in the refuge that I was in, and she has become a great friend who helped me through a very difficult time...

I also know that you probably be making excuses for his behaviour such as "he still loves me" and "I love him, and he is always sorry afterwards"... His behaviour is totally unacceptable and you SHOULDN'T put up with it... But then all the people in the world can tell you that you must leave him, and you musn't put up with it, just as I have.... If you don't want to help yourself then there is nothing much anyone else can do...

I think that firstly you need to leave the house... Even if you continue your relationship, at least you know you have a safe place to go at night... Then start thinking seriously about what you want out of your life... Either you want to be happy or you are content to stay miserable... I know which one I chose... You deserve better and the sooner that you realise that, the sooner you can start to help yourself and seek help... You are not alone, just looking at some of the replies you have received will show you that...

Domestic Violence is sadly very common and not enough women speak up about it and are prepared to do anything about it... Thats why we hear of so many women, and men, being found dead or badly hurt... Don't let yourself be another one we read about in our papers over a cup of tea in the morning... Google womens refuges in your area and start making arrangements to leave...

I left with nothing... No house, no money... But I survived... That surely is more important than material things...

I was beaten by an ex and I ran into him recently... I was of course a little scared, but I refused to let him see that, and made it clear when he tried to behave the way he did before (intimidating and aggressive) that I was no longer the scared little girl that I once was... It also gave me a clear viewpoint that in fact, instead of being the big tough man I was so terrified of for so long, he was a pathetic, insecure little boy...

I am now married to a lovely man, so please believe that there are good ones out there... I used to believe that I deserved nothing less and it was only through the support of professionals that I came to realise that I am better than that and deserved so much more...

There is obviously not as much support as there should be, BUT there is some!!! So use it...

Good luck and I hope that you come to realise that all the excuses in the world cannot make his behaviour right...

Be strong and give yourself a chance for the kind of life you deserve and REMEMBER... You are a long time dead... Enjoy your life whilst you have it and don't help someone make it shorter...

xxx

Answer 4

I can relate to your situation and I must say that as much as you must love husband, you really do need to look after your own safety and find a much happier lifestyle. Remember you were only put on this earth once and it should be a very happy and memorable time. No man should hit a woman - you can get help, firstly go and seek legal advice or even talk to your doctor, there may even be a womens refuge around. You get always get your life back together with a little confidence and with support you will bloom.... get a job and maybe you will when ready find the right man who will respect and love you for the person you really are. Good luck and God bless!!

Answer 5

GET OUT!!!!!!!!!

I know after only 1 year of marriage you probably still have strong feelings, but this will not change. Once a beater always a beater. Don't hit back he is probably stronger and could maim or kill you. Go to a refuge, if the police become involved stick with it and prosecute don't back down as he will see that as winning the whole thing and you will be back to square one.

Don't put up with this man, I didn't, I got out, and I am now happily married with two children and a good man. It's all out there for you but in the end it's down to you to grab it!


I,ve had to come back to this question as I've worried for you all morning. You have to get out, read and take all the help and advise offered to you. You do not deserve to be punished for just being there, you are not the problem he is.

Don't be ashamed to ask for help and take it, he's the one who should be ashamed.

God bless you and good luck, and bless all the people offering help and advise.

Answer 6

Wait until he has gone to work in the morning; put spare undies and clothes in a carrier bag, and just walk out of there. If you dont even have money for a bus, get to your nearest town. In flat, comfortab le shoes it is possible to walk miles when youre desperate!! Once you get there, go to the Council Offices and ask to see someone in the social welfare office. They can help you sort out your accommodation and money until you can find work. DONT stay to be a punchbag, because if this piece of **** is treating you like this after only a year, how much worse is it going to be when youve been there 5 years and if you have kids; your kids will be beaten and abused just as you are now, and in the end he will kill you. Get out as fast as you can; you are worth so much more, and have done nothing to deserve this. You have married a control freak, a bully, a big spoiled baby, who will never grow up, so leave while you can still walk. Very good luck to you

Answer 7

i know it's difficult when people say get out off there i know how hard it is especially if he sometimes nice? Be strong i was and went to a solicitor and told them everything i think you get the 1st hour free. tell them EVERYTHING they will send him a letter, advising him to vacate the property by a certain time especially if you have children, is the property in both names, you can also contact the police and they can also put an alarm in you house that you can push if he starts and that goes directly to the police station, and they turn up immediately. there is so much you can do, speak to a solicitor first they will help and advise your if you have no money then you would be able to get leagal aid. i wish i could give you my telephone number to help and advise you but i would rather not sorry. BE STRONG. GOOD LUCK. it does improve and you will find that this will also make you a stronger person and you won't take any S..T from anyone anymore.

GOD BLESS.

Answer 8

there are organisations that will help you by finding you a place to stay while you sort yourself out and offer support(i can't remember what they're called but I'm sure the information is easily accessible -try the phone book,Internet or a library)

i would suggest you leave,its obviously a common occurrence and not going to change,go to the police about him and press charges, divorce him(then he can't take your money - especially if you have evidence like a load of picture of what he does)and get in touch with an organisation that helps people in your situation and gives you support -the police should probably help with that as well if you don't know how to do it.

also if you go to some kind of support group you will make friends with people that can understand the helpless way feel and you will be able to deal with it better with friends and other people who understand and went through the same thing.

you have to do something about it, that is no way to live

Answer 9

Indeed this is all in the planning. I realise you have no money as he takes it all. So how do you get out of the town you are in and into another town? Well I dont know where you live or want to go, I don't even know which country you live in but just type "womens refuge" into google, be sure to click the country you are in and click search, I have just done it for the UK and over 1000 refuges have sprung up. They are there for women in exactly your situation. Now the next part depends on if you have children on not. If not then I would find the closest Cash generator type place and sell anything of value that you can get there, jewellery, tv, computer, anything. Take this money and get on a train and get as far away as possible, paying cash for anonymity (cards can be traced) get into one of these refuges and they will help and support you to get your life together and help you rebuild.
If you do have children then I would call the police on their local number (not emergency) and explain the situation to them. They may request that you leave immediately and they will help you get in contact with councelling and social services (not a bad thing in your situation). They will put you in contact with refuges and help to get you there.

Remember anonymity is the key. Change your name if necessary (the current price to change your name via UK deed pole is £39 but remember to pay cash). the link is to follow.

Remember to take all your identifying documents with you.

Best of luck I wish you well.

Dave

Answer 10

If you go to the job centre and speak to someone you can get housing benifit and income support so they will help you find a place to live and pay for it and you will get money every week also. There are also hostals.Get out you dont diserve to be hit for not cooking his tea the right way nuts to him if my other half said that he would be wearing it!!!!

Your lucky that it is just you and not a child also, he is showing his true colours now ibet you wouldnt have married him if you knew he was like this would you? You can also get a divorce through legal aid so you dont have to pay for it.

Ive been helping my aunt do all this with her ex.
Be brave do you want to live like this for the rest of your life? Where is your mum or dad cant they help at all even if it means going home with tail between legs.

If you need help dont be scared to ask for it email me if you need to chat good luck x