What do Americans have against living at home?

Question

It seems so many American teenagers and young adults think living at home is such a horrible thing. So many would rather be dead broke living on their own with a stupid job. I can understand some people are TOTALLY DEPENDENT on their parents to extreme levels, but some people just need to get off their feet. However, I just don't get that excited or horrified when I hear someone is over 20 and still living at home. Now, on the other hand, if they're not trying to do anything with their life, I just think they're scum!

Given that many jobs are being eliminated from this country, I think it would be unfair to brand people losers for not living on their own and having the ideal job. Unfortunately, many people don't seem to realize the good times are gone here and are still living in the past, when that attitude towards living at home might have been justified...

I meant get "on" their feet...

Answer 1

touche, i must say that i enjoy your well thought and excellently worded questions. your obviously not one of the 13 year olds here.

Answer 2

There are two main reasons in my opinion.

Youth rebellion tends to be more extreme in the US. Parents are less tolerant in the US and the kids all the more rebellious. So tension levels tend to be much higher for young adults in the US with thier parents. In fact hatred is not an exageration for the relationship many late teens have with their parents.

Second aspect is the US from the 20s to early 90s enjoyed in general a much more prosperous economy than anywhere else. So a young adult living with thier parents is seen as an economic failure. Especially if they are a male. Living with their parents implies lazyness and or incompentence.

The reality is this is fast changing. American children are living at home longer and adults even in thier 30s and 40s are winding up back at home sometimes. The decaying econonmy in the US combined with high taxes, child support, rising cost of living and lowering wage scales means single income families are fast becoming a thing of the past. So divorcees, long term unemployed and those new to the job market are increasingly forced back to thier parents homes.

There are sub factors such as American's need for more space than Europeans. American's are downright claustiphobic compared to Europeans/ American culture is heavily vested in the concept of a nuclear family rather than an extended family. Europe tends to be the opposite. The builk of American's grow up rarely if ever meeting cousins, aunts, uncles and sometimes even grandparents. American's move a great deal. Thus extended families tend to be scattered and sometimes even hostile with each other. Europeans in contrast tend to stay put, generation after generation in the same region. Relitives often live in close quarters and have a great deal of contact. So the pressure is not there on Europeans to be out on thier own. A nuclear family is two adults and children. Extra adults tend to be stress both economically and societally on the family. American youths unlike European youths tend to fall much father from the tree. So living conditions can be both crowded and difficult.

Hope this helped.

Answer 3

which side are you on exactly? I am American. I am 28 and basically still dependent on my father...I am still in school. As soon as I finish, in one month, I am going to move in with my boyfriend. I guess it is because Americans have a different mentality sometimes towards the "family" Families are not as close as they used to be, and not as close and large as compared to other parts of the world. So there is not a really big support system for the kids when they grow up, and little money. I live in the Middle East now. The families here are so much larger and closer. Children stay at home for longer, for religious beliefs, and because, as I said before, a large support system. Still little money, but more people to spread it around. Parents can afford to have their kids at home longer. Maybe I am wrong, but that is what I have seen. Or maybe it is just because American kids don't want to live with mom and dad forever. They want to have their own life.

Answer 4

The American culture is based upon strong individual performances. Most of the American success stories are about people who through their personal achievements created the country we have now. This is why Americans both love heroes but wish to destroy them at the same time. In this culture, what you become is seen as a vital factor of your social standing. Thus, many of us are judged by how self sufficient we are. Society, unfortunately, have always dictated the ways in which they see are right for us to live, or have a productive life. Personally, I see the advantages of living with my parents as my ultimate goal right now is to finish school. They have been essential in my success and I don't believe I would have it any other way. Although, I believe there has to be a line between a person truly needing the help of their parents and just plain leeching from them.

Either way, it falls down to us to decide what is right for us. What can you live with? The idea of society looking at you differently for living at home or the idea of having to suffer financially, perhaps emotionally just to satisfy the society in which you belong? Can you live with the idea that you, as a legal adult, are living in a comfortable life at the expense of your parents?

Answer 5

In this society, it is important for a person to be independent. Being able to live on your own gives you a way to show yourself that you can do it. It is very exciting when for the first time you are completely on your own. It is not wrong to live with your parents even if you are over 20, but you will grow much more if you move out.

Answer 6

I completely agree with you and so do todays economists...

I was just watching Suze Orman the other day and she was saying that kids are alot slower to grow up and get out now. I think it's because there is not that kind of pressure to get out there and add to the population problem.

Now we consider you to be a better person if you stay at home and recycle as opposed to working for some evil corporation... burning gas all day. Maybe that's just my liberal perspective -

There are indeed those OTHER people who behave more like rabbits (thumping and humping)... may they see the error of their ways.

Give K.A.T.E. (10th answer down) the "best answer"... it's very thoughtful.

Answer 7

the topic matters ISNT grownup little ones at domicile the region is those who refuse to do some thing around the domicile or participate in procuring the prices.. My Hunny our baby and that i are looking for an area sufficiently large to contain my mom and my grandmother because enconomy does suck and we would save a heck of alot mroe money if we split lease. yet a 19 12 months previous wanting to loiter round like they are 13 again with out any interest in transforming into up isn't a similar element by ability of anymeans

Answer 8

When I was in high school, we moved in with my uncle to help him out. A little while later, he was diagnosed with lung cancer and had to have one of his lungs removed. Now, he's cancer free but still has to get checked out often. As long as there's a chance that he's not in the clear I'll be here to help out. If that means people brand me as a loser or bum then whatever. Family comes first in my book.

Answer 9

The job of a parent is to teach their child to be self sufficent. If the child never leaves the nest, how can they become an independent and self supporting individual?

Answer 10

Well here in the UK you need 2 jobs to run a home because it is so rip off expensive here. Accomodation costs in the US are more realistic.

Answer 11

It is the ignorance. In Europe I have several friends in their late 20's that live in their parents home, and it is normal.